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Do you still enjoy sex?
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Do you still enjoy sex?

I am a 55 year old woman. I have a pretty face but my body is not great. I'm pale, freckled, scarred, and with a belly. I have serious body issue problems. I have trouble undressing in front of a man. I'm not at all inhibited about sex and I could get undressed if the lighting was very low. I just worry about long term relationships where eventually I would be seen in the daylight.  I can wear sexy outfits that cover me up a bit and I could sleep in pj's like I regularly do.  I am writing here because I am guessing that you feel the same about a woman looking at you when you cannot get an erection. How do you bolster your confidence to try new relationships when you know that you have this problem?
The question that I really want to know is if you still have fun having sex? You have fingers and a mouth and a warm body. Do you enjoy any sensations, simply enjoy making a woman happy, or dread it ?
I have had less sex that anyone I know in the last 20 years yet I am very open about discussing sex and I enjoy sex.
I think it is a shame when people are paralyzed by one dysfunction and let it ruin their life.
I can honestly say that I would have no issues loving a man that cannot get an erection ever. I'm just wondering if sex would still be a part of your life without that erection? Is there any fun to be had by sexy conversation, anal play, juicy kissing? I have always wanted to know this.
I'm walking away from the computer now but I'll check back tonight to see your answers.
Thank you so much for your honesty.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi,
it's great that you feel comfortable asking & talking about sex; You have a very good question; Personally, I don't think it matters what someone looks like or if they are able to have an erection;  If a relationship cannot survive these things, then they are not worth your time;  I am very happily married and I suffer from ED;  I think it bothers me more than my wife;  there is an old saying, "All that men think about is sex!";  Well, I believe thats true;  We don't think about it 24 hr's a day, but it is often on our minds; even though I have ED, I still think about sex a lot;  Maybe it is just the way men are programmed;  I would have sex every day & even several times a day, if my wife would just go along with it;  It does not disappoint me that she does not want to as much as I do;  People are just different and thats OK with me; Even with ED, I very much enjoy sex & even the anticipation of having sex; I'm always telling my wife that my mind is very horny, but there's little growth & action between my legs; there are still several things a couple can do; Just use your imagination;  Yes, men like to cuttle too; We may have sex on our mind while doing so, but we enjoy it; As far as I'm concerned, I'll take whatever I can get as far as being close in my relationship; I think it helps keep a couple close and intimate; As far as having sensations, Yes, I do, but they are different and s/w hard to explain; I may not get an erection, but I still have strong feelings, very strong & active thoughts, and I also have the same leakage like when I did get erections; Don't worry about things so much; You must love & respect yourself!; Otherwise, others may see you as you do yourself; I hope everything works out for you.
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Avatar_f_tn
You sound like a wonderful man/husband!  My post is FRUSTRATED. If you read it you'll see my husband is suffering with ED also and has for about 3 years now.  However, there is a difference between you and him.  He says it makes him feel "less than a man" when he can't satisfy me through intercourse (EVEN THOUGH I ASSURE HIM - I'M ALL FOR DOING OTHER THINGS, TOO)  so he pulls away from doing anything sexual with me for weeks at a time.  However, I see him jacking-off in the shower and can't help wonder if he likes doing that rather than having sex with me.  This plays on my mind quite a bit.  Just wish he was more like you in the sense of accepting who he is and enjoy spending time with his wife.  I love it ALL and enjoy it thoroughly when we do have sexual contact.  Just wish he would 'come around' a little more often.  35 years and still in love but desire more 'willingness' from him.  Anyway, thanks for your post and for showing me that there are men out there who are willing to except things for what they are and make the best of it.
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