Erectile Dysfunction Community
Erectile Dysfunction
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Erectile Dysfunction

My husband recently told me that he has been masturbating prone since he was in grammar school.  He just turned 34, we've been married for 6 months, together going on 5 years.  I love my husband and am glad that he told me about this.  Our sex life is good; however, my husband has never been able to ejaculate during intercourse.  This was not an issue until now because we have been talking about trying for a child early next year.  He is no longer masturbating prone and we are trying different ways of pleasuring him as he relearns how to masturbate and regains sensitivity.  It's working and we're making progress but I'm feeling a little impatient.  I think I also feel an element of anger at times that it took him this long to come clean about it and tell me.  Has anyone been through this? What were some of the feelings that you went through and how did you navigate through them?
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I had never heard of this causing problems and had to google it.  I see it can cause nerve problems for men.  If only parents and doctors made this well known so guys would know it was bad for you.  I think it's a normal position for women; many learn how to do it in this position, but our equipment is protected by the pubic bone I guess.  

I am sure you are frustrated, but what I would do is have him try supplements like L-arginine and pumpkin seed supplements to rev things up.  
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi Sheba, Noy knowing him, but this may be down to the way he has masturbated all these years, I think its down to a tight grip, look keep this at the back of your mind, its a saying, what is done by the hand is remembered by the brain, now holding that thought, if hes has been using a tieght grip, when it comes to sex you down to a featherlight touch, its now this that he needs to get back to, his penis needs to be re-educated.
Now the hard bit, he needs to stop masturbating and no sex for 6 to 8 weeks, this will give him time to reboot his body, then start again re-teaching his penis with the featherlight touch, once he can do this you the should have him doing what you want.
Good Luck
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Avatar_f_tn
Is he able to ejaculate while masturbating?  If he is, some guys are just like that, although you may be able to change it with some work.  My ex could only get off by himself.  If you want a baby, he could jerk off into a cup and then you could immediately put it in your vagina the way people do with donated sperm.  

Masturbating prone is something some men and women do.  It's just what works for them.  If he's able to ejaculate that way, I really doubt there's anything physically wrong with him (if he can't, it's probably doctor time).  Ask him what kind of stimulation he likes, and ask to watch him masturbate so you can learn to do it for him.  Prone might present some issues, but it might be workable.  Reading again, it sounds like you're working on that part, though.

As for feelings, you might want to talk to a marriage counselor if they start feeling out of hand.  Why are you so angry with him for not telling you?  I don't know him, but maybe he was too embarrassed to tell you about it if he thought it was weird, at least until he had a really good reason.  Have you told him all about your masturbation habits (or if you never did masturbate, would you feel comfortable just telling him randomly)?  Try to think of it as taking a step closer together, with him finally trusting you to tell you this.  He is working with you now.  A good sex life suggests that you have at least some idea of how to communicate with each other in the bedroom.  And changing a habit of years is going to take some time.

For general sex and relationships stuff, I actually recommend a book called The Ethical **** by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.  It's actually for people in non-monogamous relationships, but the advice there is really good for any sort of relationship, because the importance of good communication and feelings/jealousy management goes up exponentially as you expand out of a two person relationship.  They talk about things like scheduling arguments, which sounds silly, but it sets aside a time to calmly bring up things that have been bothering you instead of having spats appearing randomly that don't solve anything.  It's worth a flip through in a bookstore at the very least.
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Avatar_m_tn
My wife and I also have been trying to have a baby for the past 8 months. With no success and some major research, i decided to try herbal prolargentsize capsule on a recommendation.  After three months of taking the product (3 pills a day) my wife and I have just found out that we are now pregnant!!! Maybe it was the pills...maybe it wasn't?! Either way, I feel that prolargensize helped to supply the extra nutrients that are needed for men! I would recommend this product to anyone that are trying to start a family.
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