Erectile Dysfunction

Dear Doc,
i am 35 years old and, married with 2 childrens. i got married at a age of 26 years, recently while having sex all of a sudden, I lost erection. and it was quite embrassing. although we share good & healthy relation, its quite.painful. please advice

[Janice M Epp, PhD]

Hello

So your erection went away ONE TIME. Relax. It'll come back. You're worried over nothing.

Welcome to your 30’s! When you're younger and just beginning to be sexual with others, erections pop up everywhere--including when you don't want them! Post-pubescent men are highly excitable. After all, sex with a partner is new, and anything new is terribly exciting.

As you age, you'll find that erections sometimes take longer, and even come and go. This is not an indication if ill health, but just part of life.

If you experience erections upon awakening and also during self-pleasuring, it’s obvious there’s no medical or physiological condition interfering—it’s all in your head. Often, anxiety and nervousness create a situation in which you can't relax enough to feel pleasure.

Worrying about erections is a dead-end street. All it will do is make you anxious, which will make your penis very uncooperative. And remember you don't need an erection to be sexual, have fun, experience pleasure, etc. Relax, enjoy your own unique sexuality and stop judging yourself.

For more information about male sexual issues, I recommend “The New Male Sexuality,” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D., widely available both used and in paperback. Best of luck to you. Dr. J