Erectile Dysfunction Expert Forum
How can I get my erection back?
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Questions in the Erection Concerns Forum are being answered by Janice M Epp, PhD, a Clinical Sexologist from The Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. This forum is for questions and discussions about the psychological aspects of Erection problems or erectile dysfunction.

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How can I get my erection back?

My name is Clause Shack. I am turning to be 26 years old within a couple of months. My problem starts by easily falling in lust when I have good conversation with a woman for the first time and I will be interested to have sex with her right away. If she too is okay to have sex with me, my penis won't be able to erect well enough to do sex. So, I never had any sex with anyone like what my friends are used to do. As a result, my friends consider me as a virgin who never had sexual activity. But I had a sexual activity, masturbation, that I am addicted doing it for the last ten years or more at least once a day because of the desire I had to sex with a woman. And that is why I think my penis won't get erected well enough whenever I want to have sex with a lady. Because I was also losing lots of my sperms daily I never even had the natural ejaculation process which happens in my dreams. I also take lots of cheese and similar products whenever I eat to help restore the sperm production, if it helps. My friends tell me to use a Viagra or something similar to get my penis erected well enough to have a sex. Because I hear lots of side effects, I never used it. Long story short, would I be able to make a woman pregnant in the future if I can get my penis erected well? Or what else am I supposed to do to stop doing it and have my sexual desire satisfied with a well erected penis?
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Hello.

You are suffering from lots of misinformation. Let's clear up some of these myths.

First, it sounds as though you're only interested in being sexual with a woman--not in women as people in general. Why else would you expect to have sex with a woman upon first talking with her? This puts lots of pressure on you; in addition, most women aren't interested in being sexual with a virtual stranger. Of course, there are exceptions, but they're few and far between.

It's not true that self-pleasuring hinders erection. In fact, it's just the opposite. Here are some facts about self-pleasuring:

It’s the surest way to orgasm and the most effective way to learn about our sexual response cycle, as well as the surest way men to learn orgasmic control.  If you feel you come too quickly, the surest way to slow down is to teach yourself a new pattern via self-pleasuring.

Another advantage is self-knowledge: How can you show a partner what you like if you don’t know yourself?

And the #1 reason for self-pleasuring: it’s fun!

Self-pleasuring is a part of who you are sexually—for your whole life, not just when you don’t have a partner. People self-pleasure from birth to death, when they’re alone and when they’re partnered. It’s just one of many options we have as sexual beings. It’s not better or worse than partner sex, just different—like steak is different than chicken.

There are no products you can eat or take that will increase your production of sperm--and erections are no indication of sperm quantity. Your sperm production is probably perfectly adequate. It sounds like you're more concerned with getting someone pregnant in the future than you are with finding a partner who you care about and can experience pleasure with.

You need to look at your attitudes about women and learn to socialize with women and get to know them. Then you can begin to think about being sexual with someone. Until then, your ignorance, anxiety and discomfort are preventing you from experiencing pleasuring. Being anxious about sex and worrying about "performance" are preventing your body from responding accordingly. Dr. J
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