I can't maintain a erection

Firstly, I am 18 years old, have no forms of diseases/illnesses, and am on no sort of medication.
For a few months now.. I have been having trouble maintaining and getting a erection.
The problem that I'm facing is that my girlfriend and I are trying to partake in sexual intercourse but.. Once we get to the sex part which would be after the foreplay.. I start to lose my erection.. and after that.. I can no longer get one for the most part of the day.
When I try to masturbate alone, It is very difficult for me to maintain a erection and lasts up to 2 minutes.
Also, lately I have been feeling numbness in one of the two testicles.. which leads to one of my legs to fall asleep..
I sometimes wake up with a erection, and sometimes I don't.
When I watch porn/adult videos, I have a erection for the most part, but lose it right away once I close the video or switch the clips.
Do I have erectile dysfunction? Would you recommend Viagra? How would I get a prescription?
Please help me, I'm terrified to death.. this is every mans worst nightmare.

[Janice M Epp, PhD]

Hello.

The fact that you're not always having erections upon awakening and you're feeling some numbness in your testicles may indicate some underlying physiological issue. I recommend you see a urologist for testing, just to be sure.

However, it also sounds like you're worrying yourself into such stress that it's interfering with your erectile ability. Here's some information for you.

Erections go up and down. You’ll find this happening all your life. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex, but you have to adjust your attitude and relax. I suspect that once your penis didn’t respond on command, you started feeling anxious and judging yourself, which can be a vicious circle. The more you worry about erections, the more your penis won’t cooperate. In fact, it can be downright rebellious!

Many men feel that if their erection goes down even a tiny bit, there’s something wrong with them. Where does this come from?

Men receive so many messages that sex is about “performance” and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game. The other message that many men receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure. Ask yourself whether you have any conflicts about being sexual—any old messages that might be lurking in your subconscious.

We sexologists use the term "erectile dysfunction" because the term is meaningless. People use it to refer to anything from "I had six beers and a fight with my wife and couldn't get it up" to someone who has a physiological condition which prevents blood flow to the penis and requires medical intervention.

However, so many people see those drug commercials which refer to "ED," that now many folks think there's actually some sort of disease. Not true. Erection concerns run the gamut from those which happen once and are totally psychological to those as serious as the one to which I referred above. An awareness of these issues can help lessen the stigma attached to this term.

Before you scare yourself to death, please see a urologist to find out what's going on.

For more information about erection issues, attitude, etc., I highly recommend the book “The New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. It’s widely available online, both used and in paperback and is an invaluable resource.

Relax, stop putting pressure on yourself and enjoy sex for what it is: pleasure. Give yourself permission to enjoy whatever happens—and find partners who aren’t hung up on performances issues either. Best of luck to you. Dr. J