Losing erection during sex, and now masturbation! also heart beating harder

So as a background. Im 29, only smoke when i drink, i drink about 3x a week and have been since 18 years old. I exercise about 5x a week. I noticed about roughly 3 years ago I startd to lose an erection during sex every now and then. Now the problem has become more prevalant, and im starting to lose erections during masturbation now as well. Also during sex, i completely go limp when i get on top for missionary, it seems only girl on top can either keep it maintained, or reduce any times it may go soft.

I also notice that when I do go a bit limp, i can feel my heart pounding, as if the blood is being circulated elsewhere

Im freaking out because im so young and the problem is getting worse and worse. I dont know if its from drinking (when i drink i end up binge drinking usually), watching porn for so long (since 14), if its mental, if its a problem with my heart, or a combination of everything.

I still get morning wood all the time.

Any advice would be great, my doctor didnt really have much advice but prescribe cialis as a trial, and it didnt seem to help.

[Myron_Long]

If you still need advice on this, shoot me a note.

Thanks.

[chance090]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW man. Well i am Bi. Im 20 years old and im in a current reltaionship with this guy. And from all that you have explained and said to me, ALL of that descirbes what i am going through right now. I may be giving ppeople advices as well but im not perfect. The samething happened to me lastnight. I was so embarrased and hurt, that i started crying. I was so upset. Im like you. Im waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to young to be going through this. The 1st time i lost my virginity to this girl i met, the samething happened to me there. I dont knw what it is man. We cant be nervous or afraid cause we have done it plenty of times. I knw our minds be focused on the sex but i just want to knw what that means. Im going to try to talk to someone else about it too. Just write me back when you get this.

[Myron_Long]

Well its good you mention you still get morning wood so we can rule out the physical aspect of the issue.

Please keep in mind what I'm about to tell you is in my own opinion and not proven by facts but by my own experiences.

Masturbation is considered normal and healthy but for some males there are psychological issues behind it.

When you masturbate, you get a hard erection with no problem but when you're with a girl you find it very hard to get one. That problem right there makes the mind go crazy and get confused. Next thing you know, you're concentrating very hard to get an erection with the woman but still you won't achieve one. That is a considered a psychological issue.

I can't speak for you but when I use to masturbate, my mind would feel foggy afterwards, sex drive down, and depressed that I did it again. When I use to do foreplay with a woman, for some reason I could not fully focus on getting a full erection.  I believe masturbation disturbs the focus in the mind (for some people).

On 9/17/10, I decided to stop touching myself completely and after 30 days I had more confidence, less performance anxiety issues, more focus in getting a reaction, more response to the woman's touch on my penis and more sex libido.

I lasted 50 days and no masturbation and slipped up and masturbated again. Three days later I try to make out with one of my female friends (that I already had sex with before) and could not get a full erection. I didn't feel confident enough, sex drive not that high, not focus, and much more performance anxiety.

I came to the conclusion that masturbation is not good for my sex libido. It keeps my mind and penis tired. After masturbation, a woman's touch does not seem so pleasureable. But when I went those 50 days (no masturbation), I just loved a woman's touch.

Perhaps this is your issue. Try staying away from masturbation for a couple weeks then engage into foreplay to see if you're more responsive to women.

[anon5]

All of that makes sense, but how does it explain losing erections during masturbation? perhaps just too much desensitization to porn over the years?

[Myron_Long]

I had that situations before too. What you are trying to do is masturbate when you're really not that horny. Thats the problem with masturbation. Masturbation allows us to still stroke the penis and reach ejaculaton with a soft penis (even when we are not horny).

With real sex, you can't do that. The vagina won't allow you to enter with a soft penis and still reach ejaculation.

[rustyhands]

Amen :)

[Me288]

What about nor staying hard while having intercourse but hardly masturbates