Erectile Dysfunction Community
My husband has ED and blames me...
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My husband has ED and blames me...

So, after three years of dealing with this problem I don't get it. This started when i was pregnant and we were living with his parents for a while in 2009. When the problem started, it was...I don't know whats going on, I jerked off last night, I don't know what to tell you, and now, it's all your fault.  I can't help but feel insecure about this whole situation. I'm hurt my husband just let it go for so long. This year he decided to go to the doctors. Mind you he is a heavy drinker. at least 5 times a week 3-5 drinks a night.  He is a heavy smoker and chronic weed smoker.  He refuses to quit anything at all. So he went to the doctors had blood work and everything and his liver enzymes were elevated. One of the other reasons i urged him to go the doctor was because his eyes were and are still yellow. The doctor told him drinking and smoking would cause ED. Take care of yourself and come back in a couple of weeks to retest. The doctor said if he kept on this path he would have these problems ( liver problems and ED ). So he cut back went back to the doctors, the doctors said the levels looked better. So then my husband asked the doctor if maybe this ed problem was emotional. The doctor said yeah thats possible. So here we are back to the problem, drinking like a fish, smoking like a chimney and now I am the full cause, it's emotional.  Now if he cant get it up, it's because he knows i am thinking about it. What? I'm totally lost.
Now he wants to take ed pills but not let me know about it. This way it's a complete surprise to me and a disappointment to him if things don't work out that way.
I think after the fight last night when he told me that he wouldn't need to take the pills with someone else. I'm really ready to walk away from it all.
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1340994_tn?1374197577
The yellow eyes indicate liver damage, so ED is going to be a minor problem compared to that.  He doesn't want to be responsible and change the behaviors that ALWAYS cause ED.  He is in denial.  He feels guilty because of the lack of erections, but he can't take responsibility.  He sounds extremely selfish and immature.  If you stay, you are going to be caring for a very sick individual who blames others for his problems when it's all in his hands.  
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1340994_tn?1374197577
The yellow eyes indicate liver damage, so ED is going to be a minor problem compared to that.  He doesn't want to be responsible and change the behaviors that ALWAYS cause ED.  He is in denial.  He feels guilty because of the lack of erections, but he can't take responsibility.  He sounds extremely selfish and immature.  If you stay, you are going to be caring for a very sick individual who blames others for his problems when it's all in his hands.  
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Avatar_m_tn
Sex is the least of your relationship problems.
This guy has an extremely addictive personality. Its his choice to live this way and nobody needs a person like that in their lives.
You should burn rubber to get away from him.
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you for your response. I agree with you! Denial and blame is what is keeping him from dealing with the real issues at hand. Masking the problem with a pill without making drastic changes to correct the damage being done, on so many levels, is very irresponsible.
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Avatar_f_tn
I can relate to some of this , I am married and my husband has ed too.With refusal to change his bad habits nothing will change .I have heard it said that the penis is like " the canary in the mine shaft" , it signals health problems ! He can stay like he is if he wants to , but he needs to know that you are not responsible for his condition . He is doing this to himself ! Its always easier to blame someone else, than to blame yourself !!!!Hope you ended up okay .
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