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Not another ED question

Hello community!

What a nice place with such knowledgeable folks and enthusiasts here!

I am 30 years old, never smoked, never drink and have been masturbating since I was 14 I believe. For the last 9-10 years its been very regular (5 times every 3 days). I have had less than 20 random sex partners till now. For the last 3 years I am really fit, do intensive workouts. Body fat 9-10%. I eat healthy 75% of the time. For the last many months I have noticed soft erections after the first session (at times it goes soft during the first session itself). When I am asleep at night and wake up in between to go to the bathroom to urinate (fully filled) then I have rock hard erections often.

One thing to note is that I have never been able to masturbate with hands, I need to rub myself over the bed and get into my rhythm to ejaculate. More than an year ago I would keep having sex and won't ejaculate at all or at will, with the erection well maintained. Now that's not the case anymore :-(

Is too much laying down masturbation is the reason? I have read posts here that deny it, but I can't see any other reason since I am very healthy.

Hope to get an expert to look at it here. Please ask any questions and I will respond right-away.

Thank you
Alex
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Avatar_m_tn
Masturbating in the prone position, or using a death grip can definitly cause problems.  Here's a link to "Facts about Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome"
http://www.healthystrokes.com/

Secondly, are you using porn? Have you been doing so for a while? We have seen an endless stream of men - some in their teens, most in their twenties, developing porn-induced ED. Nothing like this happened in our generation - baby boomers. Doctors  and sex thrapists are completely unaware.

GOOGLE VIDEO -  erectile dysfunction and porn - watch the video series.

Check out this thread with lots of guys who have porn-induced ED. Read the stories.
You can find my first few posts if you want to know more.

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Mens-Health/22-with-porn-inducederectiledysfunction/show/469209?page=1

RESEARCH FROM ITALY
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SCIENTISTS: TOO MUCH INTERNET PORN MAY CAUSE IMPOTENCE (2011)
It may not make you go blind, but Italian scientists have identified a worrying side-effect of watching too much pornography.
Researchers said Thursday that young men who indulge in "excessive consumption" of Internet porn gradually become immune to explicit images, the ANSA news agency reported.
Over time, this can lead to a loss of libido, impotence and a notion of sex that is totally divorced from real-life relations.
"It starts with lower reactions to porn sites, then there is a general drop in libido and in the end it becomes impossible to get an erection," said Carlo Foresta, head of the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine (SIAM).
His team drew their conclusions from a survey of 28,000 Italian men which revealed that many became hooked on porn as early as 14, exhibiting symptoms of so-called "sexual anorexia" by the time they reached their mid-twenties.
There was some good news, however, as the condition was not necessarily permanent. "With proper assistance recovery is possible within a few months," Foresta said.
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Avatar_m_tn
Masturbating in the prone position, or using a death grip can definitly cause problems.  Here's a link to "Facts about Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome"
http://www.healthystrokes.com/

Secondly, are you using porn? Have you been doing so for a while? We have seen an endless stream of men - some in their teens, most in their twenties, developing porn-induced ED. Nothing like this happened in our generation - baby boomers. Doctors  and sex thrapists are completely unaware.

GOOGLE VIDEO -  erectile dysfunction and porn - watch the video series.

Check out this thread with lots of guys who have porn-induced ED. Read the stories.
You can find my first few posts if you want to know more.

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Mens-Health/22-with-porn-inducederectiledysfunction/show/469209?page=1

RESEARCH FROM ITALY
--------------------------------------------------------------
SCIENTISTS: TOO MUCH INTERNET PORN MAY CAUSE IMPOTENCE (2011)
It may not make you go blind, but Italian scientists have identified a worrying side-effect of watching too much pornography.
Researchers said Thursday that young men who indulge in "excessive consumption" of Internet porn gradually become immune to explicit images, the ANSA news agency reported.
Over time, this can lead to a loss of libido, impotence and a notion of sex that is totally divorced from real-life relations.
"It starts with lower reactions to porn sites, then there is a general drop in libido and in the end it becomes impossible to get an erection," said Carlo Foresta, head of the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine (SIAM).
His team drew their conclusions from a survey of 28,000 Italian men which revealed that many became hooked on porn as early as 14, exhibiting symptoms of so-called "sexual anorexia" by the time they reached their mid-twenties.
There was some good news, however, as the condition was not necessarily permanent. "With proper assistance recovery is possible within a few months," Foresta said.
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Avatar_m_tn
oh man, it is clear that you are sexually exhausted. I've gone through the same s**t back in the day and it sux really hard. Just educate yourself a bit.
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Avatar_m_tn
This is the best answer to any question I have ever asked anywhere!!! THANK YOU palpateit!

After masturbating prone for more than 16 years, I can identify with every symptom on the website you linked me to! Also lately I have been using porn and doing it in prone position! I have never been able to do it in the conventional way, my hand just gets tired ! I give it up now, will follow every bit of advice on that page. Oh I will !

By the way how do I know if I have caused any physical damage inside or out since I have been doing it for more than 16 years and that too on a daily basis almost. I do see since an year that the foreskin (Im not circumsized) at the tip looks a bit less stretchy or say a bit wrinkly when flaccid. Is that damage?

Thanks a lot again! Spot on!!

Best regards,
Eyegod
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Avatar_m_tn
I can't say whether you danaged your self. But I suspect your problem is mainly desensitization.
Can you get a healthy erection masturbating on your back, using no porn and no fantasy, only sensation? If not, then your brain is desensitized. If someone your age needs any extra stimulation - visual, fantasy, or pressure, then your brain has changed

We have seen many guys on our forums using extreme masturbation techniques along with porn. They need to reboot their brains, by giving up porn and masturbation for a while. Not sure how bad your copulatory ED is, but the process can take 4-12 weeks. Really depends on the severity of the problem.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thanks again Palpatiet

I have not masturbated for I believe 12 - 13 days now. As per healthystrokes.com I should have started masturbating on my back after a week. I did try but I just am not able to do it with hand so I haven't done it at all till now. I am noticing that I am more horny now when I see attractive females although the only rock hard erections are during the early hours in case I really need to go pee.

Btw, what is copulatory ED? Can physical damage be reversed if it has happened?

I used porn about 60% of the times in the last 2 years but the strange thing is that many times I would get just a small erection doing it in the prone position and that was all I needed...infact required to be able to masturbate comfortably.

Once again thanks for sharing your knowledge with us people. It means a lot...trust me.

Regards
Eyegod
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Avatar_m_tn
Using porn only 60% of the time means you will have a much easier recovery than those who use it for every masturbation session. Your experience of being more attracted to real women is a universal experience for men who stop porn. This alos indicates that your brain was desensitized by porn, and therefore a part of the problem - in addition to prone masturbation.

This is a good sign, asmost men go thorugh a flattened libido period before the reawkening of their true sexual desire. I say true, because men who use porn, and don't yet have ED, experience huge perception shifts when they stop porn. As one man said "what use to 'fours' are now 'eights' for me".

Copulatory ED is the inability to maintain an erection with a partner, yet able to maintain an erection with porn or unusual masturbation techniques. The brain changes that caused ED are completely reversible. See it over and over again

I suggest googling yourbrainonporn - and reading some of the "rebooting" accounts.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thanks palpateit. I must admit I have masturbated a hell lot in the last 16+ years, all prone, almost every single day, 2 - 3 times. Hope so much haven't caused any physical damage. Porn and/or erotic stories have been in use for the last couple of years though. I usually don't get any erections with porn/erotic stories since too hard of erection works against masturbating in prone. So I guess my brain is desensitized there but I am not sure if copulatory ED applies here although maintaining erection while copulating is hard since the last year or so. What do you think?

At this point I am getting great morning wood every alternate day. Although after I pee it starts going away. I am even noticing fat women now lol although I must admit the girls in porn never turned me on as much as the storyline behind it. I just needed to see action that looked real with a story, didn't matter much how hot the girl was.

I still can't get an erection at will (fantasy thinking) so I can't really try on the back masturbation. Also after having given it up for almost 2 weeks, I am not feeling the need too. Hope its a good sign. Or is it?

Thanks again palpateit. You along with this forum is helping in many ways for many of us.

Best regards,
Eyegod
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Avatar_m_tn
I would suspect copulatory impotence, as you describe a decline in function in the last year. Sounds like every other story I've heard. You may be experiencing a more subtle than usual drop in libido as you feel no need to masturbate/lokk at porn. The fact that you can't get an erection lying supine points to brain desensitization.
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Avatar_m_tn
I had just stopped masturbating 2 weeks ago to get rid of the prone issue but now I don't feel the need lol. Is copulatory impotence just brain desensitization and can get back to 100 % normal? Or something that needs serious attention. I ask that because I am already sure that I won't be prone masturbating anymore...so a reboot is coming up.
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Avatar_m_tn
yep, porn-induded ED is 100% "curable". It's all in the brain, not the penis, so there's nothing you can do about it except wait it out.
Again, I suggest googling - yourbrainonporn - and going to the FAQ's page and clicking on the first question about porn & ED. All your questions will be answered. It has many accounts of men who have recovered.
Have you watched the video series - Porn and Erectile Dysfunction ??
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Avatar_m_tn
palpateit,

I did watch the series and read a lot of yourbrainonporn.com

This is what I am confused about since I have two issues here (major one being prone):

- The excerpts say they stopped PMO completely. I have too since more than 2 weeks now. So should I stop M completely or do it on the back infrequently just to rewire the brain (as I have done prone for 16 years now) ? Or wait for weeks and then try?

- I read a lot of people feel dead down there during reboot. Well I too feel the same way but that's almost how I was feeling before these 2 weeks. So I don't know if this is part of the reboot or the same thing going on.

- I feel I can go without PMO for months because porn was never really an addiction. I used erotic stories more and well scripted porn to M and it wouldn't give me much of an erection anyway because I was doing it prone and a good erection worked against it. I also M fantasizing about women I know and it worked fine but again since it was prone so I needed less erection to get off. So what kind of approx time period should I look at for a complete reboot? I know thats a hard one but timelines help. 8 weeks without PMO?

By the way I tried masturbating yesterday (on back) and couldn't. I got medium hard erections a few times in the half hour I tried but then it would go away. I could feel I was about to erupt if I could do it properly, but then I couldn't because of the erection going away and not being used to hands. A drop of semen would show up on the top (with liquid wash like bubbles lol) every now and then...but that was it.

Was hoping the build up in 2 weeks would make it easier, but no. I feel its more prone than porn that has done the damage.
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Avatar_m_tn
Yes, you are in a unique situation. An important point to understand is that is any desensitization you developed from prone masturbation also affected your brain (and maybe spinal cord). In other words your desensitization is in your central nervous system.

I know you are trying to separate out what percentage of desensitization is masturbation technique, and what percentage is porn. However, both are located in your brain. I guess you will have to find out, but I don’t see why you are in a hurry to masturbate?

The simple measure is libido and spontaneous erections, since that is pure desensitization of the reward circuitry. If you are experiencing a lower than usual libido, you are not ready for masturbation.
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Avatar_m_tn
Dear palpateit,

The reason I am in a hurry to masturbate is from the website www.healthystrokes.com
Their method is to stop M for 1 week and then start on back to wire the brain again. Now that my situation is a bit different, I guess I will have to wait and watch and not hurry for rewiring the brain again.

Just wanted to plan it out. By the way should M be stopped completely or be done infrequently after the reboot?

Thanks palpateit. Your posts are very helpful.
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Avatar_m_tn
Healthy strokes does not take into account Internet porn, which is now synonymous with masturbation. Nor could they imagine going longer than a week without masturbation. For porn-induced ED, the fastest path to recovery is to cut out all masturbation.
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Avatar_m_tn
OK I am pretty sure I can cut it out now completely since it will be 3 weeks with PMO in a few days and I didn't find it hard to do. Does that mean I should refrain from M after the reboot/recovery process completely too? Or should it be infrequent (if so, what frequency).

I will keep this thread updated with my progress as and when something changes.

Thank you for your support.
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Avatar_m_tn
Usually men know when it's time to reintroduce masturbation. They expereince spontaneous erections. Thoughts and non-porn visuals give them erections. Real women get them excited. They experience true libido, not an addictive itch to scratch. We don't give advice on masturbation frequency, but there are a couple FAQ's on the site discussing masturbation.
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Avatar_m_tn
oh yes ....spontaneous erections. Haven't had those in a long time. Look forward to them very much. I never visualized porn at all but the only spontaneous erections (short lived) I would get was when I would talk to a woman and my brain thinks its progressing towards sex.

Thanks a lot palpateit, I will keep this thread posted with changes I notice. Yay 3rd week almost done ! Its been easy for me, because I have support here from you and I understand now how the cure works.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hello,

Its been 4 weeks now since P, M and O. I don't feel the urge for M anymore. P wasn't too much of a problem anyway. I had a few morning wood minutes (used to have that when I was Ming too), a couple of erotic dreams (nothing unusual, they were there before too). So essentially no change. Infact I kind of feel deal down there since I started.

Hmmm, hope I am alright and this reboot will make me normal. I am just amazed by the fact that I didnt M for almost a month now!

palpateit, hope you are doing well.

Thank you
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Avatar_m_tn
If you feel dead penis that is good sign. That indicates you are in the middle of the flatline period. As the brain restores sensitivity the penis usually becomes lively and libido returns. Give it some more time before you test it out. Most guys take about 8 weeks - some longer.
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Avatar_f_tn
Fascinating stuff palpateit, thanks for posting all this info. I'm not a doctor and I have never read any studies on the subject of porn-induced ED but there is growing evidence that there's a causal relationship between the two. One thing's for sure: erections start in the brain and if the brain isn't sending the right signals, sexual problems may occur.
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Avatar_m_tn
Other than the urologists in Italy no one has even bothered to ask the proper questions, or do a study on the brains of porn users. It seems to be off-limits. We were unaware of the problem until men started showing up on our forum a few years ago. Our website/forum had nothing to do with porn, and we never gave porn a second thought.

But reality is reality whether scientists study it or not. It's really sad because men are being told that it's all psychological, and this is just the way it is. Even on this site, in questions to the experts, young healthy men frequently ask if porn might be causing erectile issues. Seems logical to them as they are heavy users, and have eliminated all other factors, incuding anxiety (can't have performance anxiety when masturbating by oneself). The standard answer is that is impossible. Sad.
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Avatar_m_tn
hey palpateit,

Today I complete 6 weeks without any masturbation or orgasm, porn neither but that wasn't too big an issue anyway. I know you said 8 weeks or more but should I be seeing any other signs right now? I am still basically dead down there with erections generally in the morning when I need to pee and that too goes away after I pee.

By the way does a hot water bath or a laptop in the lap causes any issues? I don't do it too much but sometimes I do.

Thanks for your support palpateit. I don't think I could have ever gone 6 weeks like this. Its just that your presented the facts so well that it made sense and now I think masturbation is going to be a thing of the past for me. I am amazed that I have gotten over it.


Thanks a lot!!
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Avatar_m_tn
Recovery for some is non-linear, and 8 weeks is not carved in stone. Many men will dead down there, and literally overnight come alive.  Other men will have gone 12 weeks and think the reboot is not working, then attempt very gentle masturbation and it gets rock hard and they have a great orgasm. Cannot predict your path, or signs. A few older men (above 40) though they were still in the rebooting phase, but when they connected with a real female - kaboom - no problems. A lot of these and other accounts are on our site. Reading those is what keeps a lot of guys going.

Can't imagine that a bath would be bad. Not so sure about computers  (long term effects) on your lap. Radiation, especially if wireless is on, may be a problem......long term. More and more is coming out about the negative effects of wireless/cell phones altering cells.



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Avatar_m_tn
Completed 7 weeks. Unbelievable but it was actually easier than I thought after 16 years of daily prone masturbation. As of now I think I can go without masturbating for as long as I want to. Don't feel the need for any motivation other than "spontaneous erections" :-)
So should I give up masturbating all together, because it looks like I can now very easily.
I didn't had sex either till now which was easy again lol. If I do want to, how long should I wait...because I can ..

About the status update: same as before, dead and not kicking :D

Oh by hot water bath I meant laying down in a bath tub filled with hot water.

palpateit, you own that site?

Thanks!
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Avatar_m_tn
When it comes to masturbation you will need to find the right balance. My guess is that in the following weeks you may have urges arise as your brain continues to recalibrate. It appears you are still flatlining.

There's an odd phenomenon where the more you masturbate the more you will have cravings to masturbate. (Nature is assuming you have a whole lot of availiable females to impregnate. )Add porn to the mix, and this generation has no idea what their true libido is.

When you say that site do you mean yourbrainonporn? The answers is yes.
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Avatar_m_tn
Wow thats so cool that you are helping people with a website. You seem to really want to take care of this silent epidemic.

When I do start masturbation, should I do it without fantasy (my fantasies are usually stories made up for people I want to sleep with or have slept with, really short stories with some storyline and fast forwards to sex LOL) in my mind?

Also is sex better avoided until the reboot is complete in my case? From reading the website it suggests to not do it but still you are the expert and have looked at my case since the beginning...

What can I say palpateit, THANK YOU!
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Avatar_m_tn
We are not the experts, the men who have gone through this are.
As far as masturbation, the best test is using no fantasy, Eventually fanatsy about real girls is the way to go as that is what you want your brain top be trained to do. Don't fantasize about porn.

Sex is best avoided. But your time for sex might be very close.

We never wanted to get into porn recovery. Men with porn addiction started showing up on our original site 6 years ago. We hoped they would leave. But google kept sending them. They taught each other and us, especially about porn-induced ED.  We felt compeled to write articles and eventually create YBOP, as none of the "experts" could help these guys. Sexologists are in complete denial about porn addiction and ED.

  Our most recent article on psychology today blogs is the number one article for July in terms of reads. Out of 100, maybe thousands of posts, by famous authors, ours is the most read. Why? It's on porn-induced ED. Do you think there's a problem?

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Avatar_m_tn
Almost lost it:

On Sunday I had a girl pose semi-naked for me on cam. At that point I started stroking over my underwear on and off with some erection and at one point I started going really fast not caring that this is my 8th week. I got the feeling that I will ejaculate if I kept going on. Luckily the girl didn't go full monty and I stopped, and realized and didn't ask her again. Then I noticed a two quarter sized patch of wetness on my underwear. I know I didn't ejaculate or orgasm but I am sure it was a semen patch.

Have I broken the reboot? Also there is this another girl who is ready to sleep with me, I got her naked on cam but no erection. I hope I am ready to have sex by this weekend. Its not that I can't control it, its just that why not do it? Lol. How would I know I am ready for sex?

Best regards,
Alex
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Avatar_m_tn
Don't worry about ruining the "reboot". Only you can decide when you are ready. You should be able to easily achieve an strong healthy erection without any visual stimulation. That's the sign, along with strong morning wood. Perhaps a real partner will do the trick? But maybe it is too soon.
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Avatar_m_tn
Dear palpateit,

Today I officially complete my 8 weeks. Thanks a whole lot to you for providing support. I will make sure I write my recovery story after I am done and post it on YBOP.

I am not sure how can I test with a real partner. I turned down one girl for tonight and we are planning to reschedule for next Friday night. Till now it appears I am still flatlining as I only get an erection when I need to pee early morning although it goes away in seconds after peeing. It appears that the morning wood is now a bit more frequent then it used to be 8 weeks ago.

Should I have sex next Friday ? Or is it best avoided?

I rarely used porn fantasy to masturbate, it was mostly real girls for me...but I remember because it was prone position so I did it with little erection and got into that habit. It was never a full erection. I am not sure how would I ever achieve a full erection in masturbation but I hope it happens and so look forward to spontaneous erections.

Thanks again palpateit.

Best regards,
Alex
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Avatar_m_tn
Clearly, you are still in the process of healing. Eight weeks is an average, but it can take a bit longer. At this point in the process your erection strength may bounce back overnight. Either way you will contnue to improve and soon get back to "normal".

Since you are also dealing with prone masturbation, you may want to attempt gentle masturbation to see how you are doing. Most men with porn-induced ED report masturbating without a full erection. Like you they train their brains to have sex without a full erection. So you are in somehwat of the same boat as other men. I can't tell you what to do at this point. Use your intuition.

We definitely want your success story on the site.
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Avatar_m_tn
Dear palpateit,

Today I masturbated on the back and for the first time in my life I succeeded, that too using my left hand (I am right handed). I had a full erection and it didn't take too long to orgasm. The only thing ...I did it with a regular girl looking at her webcam and talking a bit dirty. She didn't pose nude (just a bit of boobs I saw) but she was masturbating too in her blanket. She was reluctant to try it out so my erections went in and out before we finally did it.

I don't know it was gentle at the end but at the beginning it was for sure and I am happy to be able to do it finally with my hand in 14 years! After that it has been dead like before and I believe it wouldn't have been possible to get a full erection and do it unless that girl wasn't there because I never seem to get fully erect on my own or thinking about a real girl (or a porn star for that matter).

What do you think is going on? Please let me know if you need specific info.

Should regular sex wait?

Best regards,
Alex
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Avatar_m_tn
First, you should be happy for your success. You have made tremendous progress. You are very close.  Is your question – “Why is it feeling dead?” Is this the following day?
It means you are probably not fully healed. Which means you will continue to heal, as long as you stay away from porn and prone masturbation.

Remember that you have years of prone masturbation and porn use to unwind. I strongly suggest visiting YBOP, and reading this excerpt - Doidge on Pornography and Neuroplasticity - (The Brain That Changes Itself by psychiatrist Norman Doidge)

It’s a great book which explains how we wire and rewire the brain. You began your sex life wiring your brain to a certain type of stimulation. You are in the process of unwiring the old, and rewiring to something new.

We are starting to find that older men who started out masturbating using no porn seem to have an easier recovery. Younger men who started on porn, the recovery can be more up and down.

Only you can determine if you are ready for sex. Again, step back and recognize how far you have come.
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Avatar_m_tn
Dear palpateit,

Yes I wholeheartedly recognize that I have come really far, thanks to you for making it easier than I ever thought. In the last 3 and a half weeks, I experimented with regular style masturbation (twice a week only) with fantasizing about real girls (that's what I used to do earlier too anyway). I noticed that I still don't get full erection but its a good erection. While masturbating the erection changes from good to fair to good and when I take my hand off it goes down completely.  What do you think is going on?

Orgasm is so much better than it used to be when doing prone daily.

Morning wood is still like it was before. Happens when I need to pee bad (but not every-time) and goes down right after peeing.

I didn't' had sex so to keep the reboot going. I was so hoping for spontaneous erections by now, but no signs.

Its amazing how fast our bodies can heal after years of bad habits. Your input is appreciated a lot palpateit.

Best regards,
Alex
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Avatar_m_tn
Your description indicates you need more time. When you are healed your erection should be full and strong. So be patient. Some men go 90-120 days with little or no stimulation, and continue to see improvement after this period.

Some men seem to come alive once they have a real partner - one they feel an emotional connection with.

As for spontaneous erections, it will never be as it was when you were 15. Keep that in mind.

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Avatar_m_tn
Do you suggest me to stop masturbating completely for the next 4 to 8 weeks because I think I can do that now. If not 4-8 weeks then whats a good approximate time period to aim for?

I just want to get that feeling of spontaneous erection LOL. I understand it can't be the same as when the hormones were raging but I know it will be a really strong sign for me to know that the recovery is complete and it just needs to be maintained from there on.

Do you also suggest not having sex for this 4-8 weeks (or whatever time period you suggest)? I know I can go without it. You have given me enough knowledge and support to make it easy for me.

Thank you.
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Avatar_m_tn
I can't really say. There's nothing magical about 8 weeks, other than less than 8 weeks usually doen't achieve full results. Your prone masturbation adds a wrinkle to the scenario. You may want to try another streak of no masturbation, It can't hurt.

Your descrption reminds of  several men who attempted sex before they were ready. The erections were strong,during sex,  but then became weak. If you are not completely hard during masturbation, then your brain has not fully healed. It's really that simple.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thanks palpateit. I will now go on another streak of no masturbation and will shoot for 8 weeks or lets say will shoot after 8 weeks :D (1 week already done so end of October).

Will be back soon. Have a nice weekend!
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi,

This time it does feel harder to keep it under control primarily when I wake up in the an hour or two before scheduled can't sleep for a while. I then feel like releasing tension.

Is it ok to read erotic stories though or sex chat with women on yahoo messenger? Im not sure, so asking...

Regards,
Alex
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Avatar_m_tn
I can't say whether you need to fully abstain from masturbation or not. But if you choose to avoid masturbation why would you torture yourself with stories ( which equals porn fantasy), or chat (which is porn-lite, I guess).
Both are artificial stimuli. Not the real deal. Men with porn-induced ED have wired their brains to artificial stimuli – that’s the problem, When in doubt, use your imagination about real girls during masturbation. Do not use previous porn, or stories. Try to rewire your brain to having sex with normal everyday women.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi palpateit,

I have now been not PMO'ing for 4 weeks. Of course I haven't had any porn or orgasm through sex for three and a half months but I did masturbate a few times like I indicated in this thread after my first 8 weeks.

In the last 4 weeks it appears as if I am flat-lining. I only get full erections at times when I need to pee badly during early morning (but not all mornings) and it goes away in a minute or a few minutes after peeing.

In between I tried on two occasions to see if I can get a full erection by stimulating it like masturbation and one time I thought it was near to being full, the other time it wasn't. Had no spontaneous erections other than a few weak ones when I am chatting online with potential future sex partners (and these chats are rarely erotic in nature). I kind of touched my penis over the pants doing this and I could feel the weak erections.

At this point I am not sure what is going on. I have come a long way giving up masturbating in prone position, no sex and no porn too and I have been expecting better results than what I have as of now. I am still not going to PMO for at least another 4 weeks (infact no porn at all ever) but I don't know if this is working for me per my expectations so far.

Best regards,
Alex
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Avatar_m_tn
Sorry to hear that, but as I said we are seeing a pattern of 90-120 days with young men who started porn at the same time they started masturbation. Maybe the prone masturbation further desensitized your brain.

I wonder what would happen if you had a girlfriend. Would that help to rewire your brain to the real deal? I don't mean having sex the first night. I mean getting to know someone for a bit so your brain can rewire. Periods of making out, eventually leading to sex, but over a few weeks or longer. Some guys have needed such a scenario if their flatline persisted.

Don't use chat, it's artificial, and that;s the problem. You need real, live girls. All other mammals need to smell pheromones in order to get erections. It's been proven that we often choose our sex partners by pheromones

I'm giving you an assignment: Find some real girls and start sniffing and touching them. You have unwired, I think you need to rewire.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thanks for the advice palpateit. I am almost sure that if I now try to have sex with any girl (relationship or non) I will be able to get a full erection considering I have waited for so long. The only reason I am not doing it is to abstain from PMO. I feel once I get a few spontaneous erections (not like when I was 15) that would indicate a full reboot. So far I have had 8 weeks without it then masturbated less than 8 times in 3 weeks and now in my 5th week of no masturbation again. Should I go for 13 more weeks (to complete a 120 day cycle) now? I believe I can do that. I may have sex in between but I can abstain from PM till then.

Alex
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Avatar_m_tn
You can certainly wait for intercourse, or masturbation. But getting close to girls, without the pressure of performance, can be quite healing.

Here's one guy commenting how one can tell if rebooting is complete
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I really don't think there's a set 'time limit' for rebooting. I think it varies with everyone. When I didn't feel awesome at 8 weeks I got pretty worried, but everything worked out. Just keep abstaining and you'll eventually get back.

I really didn't start to feel truly recovered again until after I'd been with a girl. It opened the floodgates. The improvement between now and a few weeks ago is absolutely insane.

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Here's another guy's test, if you decide it's TIME:

Well, it was nearing 4 months of no PMO for me, and possessing the extreme logical mind I have I felt like I really had to undergo some testing to see just how much I have changed over this period of no PMO. I was actually concerned because my libido was still flatlining. So, last night I decided to masturbate right before sleeping. The important caveat here is that I used no porn (obviously) nor any sort of fantasy. Just my hand, and very light strokes at that. None of that anaconda gripping.

The point of this test was to see if I could get hard without any sort of external stimuli besides the feel. A while back, when I started on this journey, I read several reports where a good indicator of some recovery was the ability to masturbate with just experiencing the feel of your hand. Well, I was VERY surprised trying this out. I was hard after about 2 seconds, and I mean really hard. I didn't last very long during this session. I was hoping just for some response at all with no porn or fantasy, and wow! I guess the response was too much.

I wasn't convinced, however, because I haven't masturbated in almost 4 months. Perhaps I didn't last long because I haven't done it in a while. I decided to try again today, this time with a condom. Before getting to the results, I have to say there were no "chaser" effects from last night. No desire to look at porn or fantasize about porn today.

Well, today's session was just as fast as yesterday's. I put the condom on no problems, was still extremely hard before and after, and had no problems finishing off with the condom on. The kegel exercises definitely pay off too. I noticed an extremely harder erection right off the bat, and it was significantly easier to stop myself right at the point of orgasm than from what I remember in the past. That should make the future girls happy.

I really wanted some sort of confidence indicator that I was getting better before getting in bed with a lady again, and I think this definitely gave me that. I count this as a success. I'm not going to binge on masturbating again either, in fact I plan on stopping again for a while (maybe a month). I'm going to carefully watch myself during the next few days for any chaser effects like a strong desire to watch porn. So far I don't have any which is just great.

After about 2 seconds of my hand brushing against my penis, UP it went! That's another good takeaway lesson, for those worried about their libido, you might be completely fine and just not know it until the proper situations arise. I figured that after a few months I would be walking around 24/7 with an erection, but we're not 15 anymore. I was actually considering seeing a doctor and having my testosterone levels checked, so this masturbation session saved me a couple hundred dollars! I now know that there is nothing physically wrong with me.

You could try this at 60 or 90 days. If you can't get an erection from doing this, don't force it. You need more time to heal.
----------------------------------------------------

and another guys answer:

Everything your going through im going through too bro, the flatline ***** big time. I was flatlining like muthaf***** but when i started making out with a girl recently my **** just suddenly came alive .. Just get out and about and be in female company as much as you can be. Your libido will come back you just got to point it in the write direction. Is there any females in your life or anyone your interested in? Just get out there bro
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Avatar_m_tn
Thanks for the excerpts palpateit. I have decided to not masturbate until at least the 1st week of 2012. That would complete my 120 days. I may have sex in between but I won't be actively looking for opportunities. I hope having sex is OK. I will keep this thread updated as and when things change.

Regards,
Alex
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Avatar_m_tn
This is a private email I just received from a  21 year old who rebooted for 80 days (had sex with his regular girlfriend a few times). Then starte having sex after day 80 and this is about day 120. He is finally back to normal.
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"I have some great news for you. Since I last contacted you my condition has improved dramatically. I began attaining erections more and more easily, there were times I had to focus NOT to get one haha. Also, yesterday I orgasmed and immediately returned to having sex, with no significant drop in erection strength. I would say that's a unmistakable sign of full potency or damn close to it. In short, I'm back to my old self. Thank you for everything, its great to feel that virility again after being in the dark for so long."
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I don't know if 2012 is necessary. We have observed that guys who have girlfriends recover faster, or guys who get girlfriends near the end, rewire up to the real thing.

Be open to getting close to someone, without having to immediately do it.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hehe I am not really a girlfriend type of guy. I have had some "arrangements " but I moved to a new place 3 months ago so still settling in and started looking for new "arrangements" Lol. In the last 3 out of 4 nights after I pee and sleep then I think in an hour or so (early morning) I wake up for a bit by chance and have noticed that I have an erection (not the strongest but good enough). I just touch to confirm, smile and lay upside down after which it seems to go away, although I fall asleep too.

I am kind of giving up masturbation for good or will keep the frequency low like once/twice a month after I feel I have recovered.

I can't thank you enough palpateit. We all know masturbation is not a good thing but then the info we get is that its OK so out of confusion we keep doing it. Although I m sure there is no harm with less frequency but usually it leads to porn addiction and/or not getting out of the house because you can please yourself so why need a real woman? And many other things that go wrong with it.  I have been trying to give it up for years but I needed knowledge and I couldn't find it anywhere with real people gaining from it. Your initiative is helping a lot of people I am sure.

Hats off!

Alex
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Avatar_m_tn
Dear palpateit,

I have now completed another 8 weeks without PMO. As you know its been 20 weeks now without PO and there were a 2-3 weeks of M (not prone) in between just to test the recovery. My situation still remains the same (flat lining it seems). Morning erections I used to have are now less frequent and when they do happen its just like earlier times that I need to go pee and  it disappears within 15-30 seconds gradually. No spontaneous erections yet and the few half strong erections I used to have after the first 8-10 weeks (while touching genitalia over pants) are gone too.

I am not doing erotic chats anymore (although when a woman tries to do that, it gives me half an erection and some pre-*** and that has always been the case). One time I downloaded something for educational purposes not aware it had hard core porn in it and while watching it halfheartedly (with my hand literally blocking my eyes to not see genitalia) and I had a semi erection in between because of the voices etc. It was a minute of porn in a 10 minute video. Porn usually didn't give me erections earlier (or they were weak).

Another time I was talking to this girl on the phone (completely non sexual) but since my mind thought of her as a potential mate I had a very good erection (maybe it was full) for a minute or two while I kept stroking slowly.

Libido hasn't gone up and I do wanna do a couple of women I know but its not that strong.

PMO has become much easier now for me and I can go without it for as long as I want now.

This is my situation as of now. Please suggest.

Alex
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139792_tn?1299416777
I have gone through all the comments. The last comment of eyegod  seems to have a failed /therapy. During this dialogue, no mention is made of any holistic therapy like, Male deer exercise, kegel exercise, Satkriya, prostate massage, kundalini yoga,circulating sexual energy around microcosmic orbit, It is continuous process as we do exercise for general health. These exercises will enahance sexual virility and treat sexual disorder and have overall effect on general health and total life. You can get all information by researching the relevant phrases.
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