Possible ED, Anxiety, please help

[indigo122]

I'm terrified of ED, even before actual attempt at sex. PLEASE hear me out, this is long.

I'm male, 31, GF is 26, both with almost no sexual experience. Lately we've got to the stage of making out- deep kissing, petting, etc. First two times I had some partial erection, maybe even a full erection for a short duration. Lately I didn't get an erection.

I'm certain I have some kind of porn-induced problem, because of many years of porn use, with the effect of needing stronger and newer visual content that accompanies it. With porn, and alone, I have no problems with erection.

I used to have great fear of sex, which I've somewhat overcome, but then this issue started. I also suffer from stress, lack of sleep, and all these issues are a vicious cycle right now.

I'm afraid I will not be able to perform. Am I overreacting? Is it too soon to think about going to a Urologist before even one "botched" attempt?

Please any kind of help, advice, reassurance. I'm so stressed.

Thank you.

[indigo122]

Thank you very much for your comments. My girlfriend has since broke up with me for unrelated reasons of her own. So we never really got to the "plate", so to speak. I've decided to consult a psychologist who I assume will diagnose me and refer me to either sexual therapy or CBT for anxiety. I'm guessing the later is my chief problem, as it has always been in other issues.

[merly66]

I agree with the above comments, but would like to add: Since you and your girlfriend are both relatively inexperienced (your words), I don't see that there is any rush to get to 'first base'. Enjoy the kissing, cuddling and petting, and if it goes somewhere, let it. If not, you haven't lost anything. A very good basis for sex is not expecting that it will happen every time you get remotely intimate. Surprisingly enough, when you least expect it, is when it works best xxx Good luck and best wishes xxx

[metropolis]

Yes, I totally agree with Palpatine: when in doubt go see a urologist, it's no shame to seek professional help and self-medication is always a risk.

As for your anxiety, I suggest you don't rush things: start with kissing and caressing and then move to penetration. A nap or a warm shower before sex can do wonders. I once tried a natural supplement called SEREDYN, it was very effective and had no sexual side effects.

I'm also a very anxious person, I suffered from sexual performance anxiety for many years (coital anxiety) and I had to wait until I was 30 to start having great sex. I never saw this as a medical problem and that was my mistake. Performance anxiety is indeed a medical problem but it is easily treatable. Today I'm 34 yo and my sex life is perfectly normal.

[palpateit]

I could be anxiety, porn use, or a combination of both.

Here's a simple comparison test to check for porn-induced ED:
1 - Masturbate to your favorite porn.
2 - Try to masturbate using no porn and no fantasy - only sensations. Masturbate with same speed and pressure as you would during intercourse.

Compare one and two. How erect was your penis? How long did it take you to reach orgasm? What was your level of excitement? (A healthy young man should have no trouble attaining a full erection and masturbating to orgasm without porn or fantasy.)

If you have a strong erection on #1, but problems on #2, then you have porn-induced ED.
Number

If #2 is strong and solid, but you have trouble with a real partner, then you have anxiety induced ED

If you have problems during both 1 & 2, you may have severe porn-induced ED, or an organic problem. When in doubt see a good urologist.

These 2 Medhelp threads have lots of guys with porn-induced ED.
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Mens-Health/22-with-porn-induced-erectiledysfunction/show/469209?page=1

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Mens-Health/Too-much-porn-masturbation-causeED/show/183203


I suggest to GOOGLE VIDEO -  erectile dysfunction and porn - and watch the video series.

Here’s a Psychology Today article on it
Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunction Is A Growing Problem
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201107/porn-induced-sexualdysfunction-is-growing-problem