After a nearly fatal bout of the mumps, my partner has been left with what his discouraging doctors and his own mind have declared permanent impotence. I understand that for ALL men, particularly those whose sense of self is heavily reliant on physical power and potency, have a very, very difficult time coping with even occasional ED psychologically and emotionally so I'm being very careful to try and sense what he needs from me day by day.
However, my question is this: I am perfectly aware that an erection is NOT required for a man, for MY man, to feel pleasure, release, ejaculation, and orgasm, thanks to a long, full-spectrum sexual history, but my partner is not experienced, and I don't know how to broach these alternative practices with his stiff-necked self. Almost overnight, ALL physical contact was cut off. I know that fear, embarrasment, and the self-esteem blow often cause this type of reaction, but the 180 was staggering. He is (I won't say was) the most sexual, virile man I've ever met and I cannot think of him living from now on without the joy and happiness that sex and his sexuality have always brought him, though he seems SO resigned to just that. He could carry on having a physically and emotionally satisfying sex life even if he never has another erection again, but I know that the LAST thing this kind, good man needs is pressure from me, or even worse *nagging* to "Try this" and "Try that" and "Hey, why don't we give this or that a go?" when the last thing he wants to do is face failure in this area. But what should I do? What can I do?
Someone at a gathering last night wanted to take our picture together and the awkward-side-hug he gave me just long enough for the flash to go off was the first physical contact we've had in three months. This time last year we could of fogged every mirror in Versailles just by being in the same room together. I try to sound light-hearted and optimistic, but I'm beginning to doubt that the love of my life will ever even kiss me again, and while the physical pain the thought causes me is nothing compared to what he's going through, it's still crippling. ANY advice at ALL will be so greatly appreciated.
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