Sexually anoid

I am in a long term relationship and deeply in love with my boyfriend as he is with me also. Our problem is that he is a type 2 diabetic and we feel it is affection our sex life. We both are highly attracted to one another but he doesn't seem to be able to hold a erection for more than 5 mintues. Is there something to be concerned about? What can we do to erase this problem to give us a better sex life as we both are really frustrated at hi mwanting to please me as I would love for him to do?

[Janice M Epp, PhD]

Hello.

Diabetes affects blood flow to the penis, which affects erection. Many men with diabetes find they need more direct and intense stimulation than provided by p-v. Erections may take longer, and even come and go. If you can both accept this and stop worrying about it, you can begin to explore ways to be sexual that are mutually pleasurable and don’t require an erect penis.

You’ll need to be more specific about what you mean by “him wanting to please me.” I’m not sure what you mean by this. Are you perhaps thinking that he should “give” you an orgasm? Realize that no matter how long his erection lasts, you may not have an orgasm during p-v sex because it often doesn’t provide effective clitoral stimulation. The more pressure you put on him to “please” you, the more anxiety you’ll create, and this will be counter-productive. You might find it helpful to reassure him that he doesn’t need an erection for the two of you to enjoy your sexuality together and also for the two of you to talk about what kinds of activities you’d like to try. Best of luck. Dr. J