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Which problem is causing the erection problems
I am 60,obese, with high blood pressure and cholesterol, I hadn’t had sex withy my ex-wife for eight years and so I masturbated regularly over sexy images of women. I have only ever had sex with my wife. Now that I am divorced from my wife I have discovered to my amazement that a beautiful , slim, sexy and very experienced lady of 52 has fallen in love with me. We have had sex quite often, which she always initiates, in bed she reaches for my penis almost immediately and I think, initially, she was rather surprised that it didn’t spring into action like a switchblade. In fact I have severe erection problems or cannot hold the erection long enough for satisfactory intercourse. She is so understanding and we have great oral sex! But sex takes place in the head, and I know I am intimidated by her experience of other men, and by her beauty, and that hasn’t helped, and yet I know I should be aroused by her but often I’m not. I’m scared that having masturbated over images and ,of course fantasies, has made normal sexual thoughts impossible for me. I just don’t appear to have much of a sex drive these days, but I enjoy sex and often wake up with an erection my girlfriend would die for. Is being a physical wreck part of the problem? My girlfriend will not consider marriage until I have lost 25kg. Life is already hard without beer, spirits, ice cream or chocolate and without sex there are few pleasures left , so I would be grateful for your observations and advice.
A related discussion, HOW TO HELP WITH THE ALTERNATIVE OF VIAGRA CIALLIS ETC dirty but clean was started.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hi Chris.
You raise several issues to think about.
First, as you have no doubt realized, most of what's bothering you is emotional--not physical. Morning erections are an indication that there's nothing physiological inhibiting erections. I detect some undercurrents in your post--the most obvious of which is a lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. It sounds as though you think you're not attractive or worthy. And you can't believe an attractive woman would be interested in you. This has no doubt affected you and created some anxiety. Be aware that anxiety is the enemy of pleasure. As long as you're worried about getting erections, you'll create this self-fulfilling prophesy.
The obvious answer is to stop worrying and enjoy what you have. Also, stop being so performance-focused and enjoy sex for what it is: pleasure. In your 60s, your erections will be different than they were in your 20s, and your sexual response pattern may change. That doesn't mean you can't enjoy sex--it's just different than before, and your frequency may be less. If you keep worrying that you aren't measuring up to some fictional ideal, you'll never relax enough to enjoy sex.
I would also suggest you look at your attitude about your partner. Do you feel she's somehow better than you because she's attractive? I wonder how you feel about her other attributes? If she weren't attractive, would you still be interested in her? Do you like her as a person? These are important questions to ask in any adult relationship. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
You raise several issues to think about.
First, as you have no doubt realized, most of what's bothering you is emotional--not physical. Morning erections are an indication that there's nothing physiological inhibiting erections. I detect some undercurrents in your post--the most obvious of which is a lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. It sounds as though you think you're not attractive or worthy. And you can't believe an attractive woman would be interested in you. This has no doubt affected you and created some anxiety. Be aware that anxiety is the enemy of pleasure. As long as you're worried about getting erections, you'll create this self-fulfilling prophesy.
The obvious answer is to stop worrying and enjoy what you have. Also, stop being so performance-focused and enjoy sex for what it is: pleasure. In your 60s, your erections will be different than they were in your 20s, and your sexual response pattern may change. That doesn't mean you can't enjoy sex--it's just different than before, and your frequency may be less. If you keep worrying that you aren't measuring up to some fictional ideal, you'll never relax enough to enjoy sex.
I would also suggest you look at your attitude about your partner. Do you feel she's somehow better than you because she's attractive? I wonder how you feel about her other attributes? If she weren't attractive, would you still be interested in her? Do you like her as a person? These are important questions to ask in any adult relationship. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
1) If you have morning erections, then its psychological problem (adjusting from one woman to another woman)
2) Put self pleasure on hold for a month to make sure your penis is not accustom to your hand stimulation. This may be the reason why she touches you and you don't get erection right away.
3) Taking smallest dosage of Viagra, Cialis or Levitra may help.
2) Put self pleasure on hold for a month to make sure your penis is not accustom to your hand stimulation. This may be the reason why she touches you and you don't get erection right away.
3) Taking smallest dosage of Viagra, Cialis or Levitra may help.
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