My boyfriend and I have had a persistent problem where he is unable to reach climax and ejaculate during sex and loses his erection out of frustration or defeat. We have experienced this problem since the beginning of our relationship. He would orgasm less and less over time, until after the 3rd month or so he stopped all-together. Since that time (we have been together for a year and a half now) he has only orgasmed a couple of times, each time spread out over SEVERAL months. Sex, for both him and I, is very frustrating. He is easily turned on, but doesnt keep his erection, or gets worn out trying for an hour to ejaculate.
He was able to reach climax and orgasm in the past, in the beginning of our relationship, and has always been able to with the other short-term partners he has had. He had the same issue with his only other long-term relationship, and that ended with infidelity. I fear we are heading down the same road unless we are able to solve this problem. Will pills like viagra work for him, since often-times he has trouble keeping his erection? Is there anyone out there with words of wisdom or advice for us? We are deeply in love and will do as much as it takes to make our physical relationship as healthy as our emotional bond. Thanks!
You state that your partner has orgasms with “short-term partners” but once he’s in a long-term relationship, he’s unable to orgasm. Sounds like something is preventing him from allowing himself to get turned on. And that “something” might have to do with caring about you, or it might be that once he’s in a long-term relationship, he begins to get anxious about pleasing you. Men receive so many messages that sex is about “performance” and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game. The other message that many men—and women—receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure. So, to recap: he may have negative attitudes about sex in general, or he may have performance issues. Either way, it’s easy to get trapped in a cycle of trying too hard, which, in turn, just leads to more stress. And you know what? It’s not that uncommon, and it’s not that hard to change. Take a deep breath, and talk with him in a caring and non-judgmental way about what’s going on. You might encourage him to write his own question to me, to share what’s going on in his head when he’s being sexual with you. Good luck—and do write back and let us know how things are going! Dr. J
Viagra could help, but it is really something he would need to talk to a urologist about. There might be some underlying health issue that is causing it, or a psychological issue that is causing it, you never know. The best thing to do is start with a urology checkup and go from there.
One can have orgasm without ejaculation. A state of bliss is reached in which both lovers feel fulfilled without demanding the ultimate. Breathing together and directing sexual energy towards the solar plexus and the heart helps. Try less hard and it may happen.
i dont agree with sylvan the best thing to do for you is consult a doctor first see what they say but if its psycological...i say you dont have sex at all for a while say 2 months or a montha and a half and you have to come back good do every thing he wants and more and first when he wants you dont give it to him make him wait because it builds up in you the more you want ...show him some skin but not all of it...and drive him nuts all day..tease him yall sleep together...6am best time after some sleep in the morning guaranteed....good luck my personal advice is this because i wasnt frustrated when that happened to me but i wanted more in a girl ....the 6 am thing reallly works
Copyright 1994-2017MedHelp International.All rights reserved. MedHelp is a division of Aptus Health.
The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. Med Help International, Inc. is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. We disclaim all responsibility for the professional qualifications and licensing of, and services provided by, any physician or other health providers posting on or otherwise referred to on this Site and/or any Third Party Site. Never disregard the medical advice of your physician or health professional, or delay in seeking such advice, because of something you read on this Site. We offer this Site AS IS and without any warranties. By using this Site you agree to the following Terms and Conditions. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your physician or 911 immediately.