My husband is 59 years old and has been smoking pot daily since the age of 14. For the past 10 years, he has been unable to ejaculate (no sperm). He is very interested in sex and he has orgasms but no ejaculation. His blood pressure is normal but he has quite a beer gut even though he does not drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes. He's had a desk job for 30 years. My concern is that he either has a blockage or the pot smoking has finally caught up with him. It makes me feel like I'm not satisfying him and that he might be lying about having orgasms.
Whoa! You’re making a lot of assumptions and scaring yourself, possibly over nothing. First, there could be many reasons for your husband not ejaculating—way too many to note here. And the only way to determine if there’s any physiological cause is for him to have a thorough medical check-up.
It’s true that marijuana can affect ejaculation. For some, it’s a sexual stimulant, while for others it produces detachment. You state that your husband is interested in sex and he has orgasms. I’m wondering why you speculate he could be lying?
Well, guess what? There’s only one way to find out: ask him. If you’re worried he’s not enjoying sex with you, you need to open up the lines of communication and speak frankly about your concerns. But don’t be accusative or confrontational. The best way to get information is to reassure him that you won’t freak out. You might begin by telling him you really enjoy your sex life together and that you’re wondering how HE’S feeling about it. Is he still enjoying it as well? If he has any concerns he wants to talk about, you promise you won’t faint, scream or vomit, and that you’ll listen. Tell him that the TWO of you can work anything out, as long as you love each other.
Of more concern to me is that he has put on weight around his stomach. A beer gut is a very dangerous thing for an older man: large deposits of fat around the middle can put a strain on the heart. Why not suggest some activities the two of you can do to get physically active? And perhaps alter your diet? Since he has a desk job, he may have become too sedentary for continued good health. Best of luck to you, Dr. J
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