penis size

im 18 nd my erict size is 4 to 4.5 in length nd about 3 inch in girth itz not big at all
nd wen im not ericted.itz really small bout a inch sometymez.is dis normal.? i onli had sex wiff 2 girlz nd itz been ova a year i havnt had sex cuz im concerned bout my size.wat can i eat or do to make it biggER?

[Janice M Epp, PhD]

Hi.

Take a deep breath and relax. You're fine.

Our society does a terrible disservice to men by raising them to think that their penis has to be 10 inches long, hard as a rock and last all night. It’s no wonder that many men feel insecure about their penis. Locker room etiquette dictates no staring, so most men have only glimpsed other penis sizes and shapes in commercial sex videos, which generally feature men with large penises. If you think everyone else looks like a male porn star, of course you’re going to feel inadequate!

Another contributing factor is that while most men see their penises several times a day while urinating, they’re usually staring down at their penis, creating a visual distortion that makes it appear smaller than it actually is.

Just as some women associate being “sexy” with having big breasts, many men spend their lives wishing they had the allegedly perfect porn star penis, and this can affect their sexual enjoyment. Certainly, penises are important to sex, but great sex involves your whole body; in fact, having great, mutually satisfying sex is usually quite the opposite of what you see in those performance-oriented sex videos. Remember: Performance can be the enemy of pleasure and fun.

Like noses, penises all have the same basic shape, with some variation. Did you know that you can’t tell the size of a man’s erect penis based on what it looks like when flaccid (un-erect)? Most penises erect to between 4 and 6 inches, and there’s not much variation in erection size (with exceptions, of course). However, when unerect, there is much more variation. Some men’s penises are 1 inch when unerect (we’ll call these growers), and others are 5 inches (we’ll call these show-ers). BUT: during erection, the 1-inch penis may grow to the same 6-inch erect size as the 5-incher. That’s right; despite their differences when unerect, they’ll both erect to approximately the same size. Why don’t most of us realize this? Because most of us just don’t get the opportunity to see men when they’re both unerect and then erect. And did I mention shrinkage? When men are cold or nervous, the penis and testicles pull up into the body for protection (“I’m hiding!”). If you see a penis right after it’s been in a cold swimming pool, I guarantee it will not resemble its erect self in any way!

The body you have is the body you're going to have for your entire life, and if you pay attention to its messages, honor it and take care of it, it will serve you well all your years. And most women tell me they're more interested in whether a man is a sensitive, caring lover than whether he has a big penis. So the message is: Love what you have, enjoy it and focus on becoming a caring person. Dr. J