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Erection Concerns (Expert Forum)
ERECTION CONCERNS
Answered by
Janice M Epp, PhD - Female sexual issues, Adolescent sexuality, Male sexual issues
Private Practice
Palo Alto - CA
Questions in the Erection Concerns Forum are being answered by Janice M Epp, PhD, a Clinical Sexologist from The Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. This forum is for questions and discussions about the psychological aspects of Erection problems
ERECTION CONCERNS
by johnboy128, Mar 19, 2009 02:42AM
Towards the end of my marriage i was occasionally failing to get fully aroused. I have since separated very amicably, and have been in a new relationship for 8 months. Although i am fully aroused mentally and very much desire my girlfriend, i am finding it increasingly more difficult to achieve and maintain a full erection. I have purchased Kamagra and used it to good effect on several occasions, but feel there is possibly an issue that may need addressing here. I dont wish to take pills to have sex and dont enjoy the side effects such a hot face and stuffy nose. I would appreciate any advice you may have, and would be willing to see my gp if you advise. I read recently about testosterone difficiency and wondered whether this could be a possibility as i have felt pretty much fatigued and not myself for a couple of years!
Regards
Johnboy128
Regards
Johnboy128
Doctor's Answer
by Janice M Epp, PhD, Mar 24, 2009 07:44PM
, Mar 24, 2009 07:44PMTo: johnboy128
Hello John.
You’ve discovered what many men have found, and that’s that Kamagra (Viagra) isn’t the only answer. Now that you’re taking it, you may be aware that there’s something else going on that a pill can’t change.
When you're younger and just beginning to be sexual with others, erections pop up everywhere--including when you don't want them! Post-pubescent men are highly excitable. However, most men find that once they leave their teens, they need more direct and intense stimulation. As you age, you'll find that erections sometimes take longer, and even come and go. Again, this is not an indication if ill health, but just part of life. Sexual interest ebbs and flows as well, depending on other circumstances in your life.
Viagra doesn’t create sexual interest or enhance sensation; it merely increases blood flow to your penis. If you have an organic condition which affects blood flow, then Viagra can, indeed alleviate this concern. However, if you’re conflicted about sex, or uninterested, or some other psychological or emotional concern is preventing you from being turned on, all the pills in the world can’t help that. And the more stress you’re under, the less energy your body has to respond sexually. Two other reasons why you might not be having erections are that you’re bored with your current partner or the sexual activities you’re doing together, or that there are some conflicts in the relationship and you’re feeling anxious or angry. Another possibility is that you're feeling less confident with a new partner. That's to be expected during the inevitable period of adjustment. Something is getting in the way of your enjoyment, and it’s your job to find out what it is.
You say you notice less energy, etc. This may merely be your body slowing down as it ages. Don’t worry: it happens to all of us. Doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy your sexuality; it merely means you may need to make some adjustments.
It’s also important to remember that if you’re having erections at other times besides with a partner (e.g., morning erections), chances are there aren’t any physical causes and there’s something psychological contributing to your concern. If so, a good first step would be to explore what’s going on. Start by reading a book about male sexuality to discover what other men are sharing about their feelings. I recommend “the New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. And if you AREN’T getting morning erections, you might want to consult a urologist to find out what’s going on physically. Best of luck. Dr. J
You’ve discovered what many men have found, and that’s that Kamagra (Viagra) isn’t the only answer. Now that you’re taking it, you may be aware that there’s something else going on that a pill can’t change.
When you're younger and just beginning to be sexual with others, erections pop up everywhere--including when you don't want them! Post-pubescent men are highly excitable. However, most men find that once they leave their teens, they need more direct and intense stimulation. As you age, you'll find that erections sometimes take longer, and even come and go. Again, this is not an indication if ill health, but just part of life. Sexual interest ebbs and flows as well, depending on other circumstances in your life.
Viagra doesn’t create sexual interest or enhance sensation; it merely increases blood flow to your penis. If you have an organic condition which affects blood flow, then Viagra can, indeed alleviate this concern. However, if you’re conflicted about sex, or uninterested, or some other psychological or emotional concern is preventing you from being turned on, all the pills in the world can’t help that. And the more stress you’re under, the less energy your body has to respond sexually. Two other reasons why you might not be having erections are that you’re bored with your current partner or the sexual activities you’re doing together, or that there are some conflicts in the relationship and you’re feeling anxious or angry. Another possibility is that you're feeling less confident with a new partner. That's to be expected during the inevitable period of adjustment. Something is getting in the way of your enjoyment, and it’s your job to find out what it is.
You say you notice less energy, etc. This may merely be your body slowing down as it ages. Don’t worry: it happens to all of us. Doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy your sexuality; it merely means you may need to make some adjustments.
It’s also important to remember that if you’re having erections at other times besides with a partner (e.g., morning erections), chances are there aren’t any physical causes and there’s something psychological contributing to your concern. If so, a good first step would be to explore what’s going on. Start by reading a book about male sexuality to discover what other men are sharing about their feelings. I recommend “the New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. And if you AREN’T getting morning erections, you might want to consult a urologist to find out what’s going on physically. Best of luck. Dr. J
