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Erection Concerns (Expert Forum)
Erection problems
Answered by
Janice M Epp, PhD - Female sexual issues, Adolescent sexuality, Male sexual issues
Private Practice
Palo Alto - CA
Questions in the Erection Concerns Forum are being answered by Janice M Epp, PhD, a Clinical Sexologist from The Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. This forum is for questions and discussions about the psychological aspects of Erection problems
Erection problems
by DarkAngel647, Sep 20, 2009 05:37AM
hi
im 30 years old and why do i like oral sex(one way) then having sex with my girlfriend and i don't like to give her oral sex to my girlfriend why is that?? i feel like i want to give her oral sex but when it comes to it i back off from it or is there a way of doing it. and when i get oral sex from my girlfriend i be hard and it will last for 20-30 min but at the same time when i try to have sex wit her i go soft is there a problem or im i not attracted to my girlfriend???
im 30 years old and why do i like oral sex(one way) then having sex with my girlfriend and i don't like to give her oral sex to my girlfriend why is that?? i feel like i want to give her oral sex but when it comes to it i back off from it or is there a way of doing it. and when i get oral sex from my girlfriend i be hard and it will last for 20-30 min but at the same time when i try to have sex wit her i go soft is there a problem or im i not attracted to my girlfriend???
Doctor's Answer
by Janice M Epp, PhD, Sep 22, 2009 06:59PM
, Sep 22, 2009 06:59PMTo: DarkAngel647
Hi.
You’re asking me many questions which only YOU can answer. How can anyone else possibly know how you feel? It seems to me you already have the answers. Let’s look at the facts as you’ve detailed them:
1. You don’t enjoy penis-vagina (p-v) sex with your girlfriend
2. You don’t enjoy giving her oral sex
3. The only way you enjoy sex is when she gives you oral stimulation
Looks pretty clear to me: you don’t want to be sexual with this woman. Why is that, I wonder? Something about the intimacy of p-v may be problematic for you. Or you're not receiving enough stimulation during p-v. There are lots of possibilities, and it’s up to you to figure out which ones are pertinent.
You may be conflicted about being sexual with her, or p-v with her is not satisfying for you, or there may be some unresolved issues in your relationship, or perhaps you’re angry about something. In addition, you may be using a condom during p-v that is too thick and is thus inhibiting your ability to feel stimulation. Take some time to sit back and contemplate these issues to see if any resonate with you. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
You’re asking me many questions which only YOU can answer. How can anyone else possibly know how you feel? It seems to me you already have the answers. Let’s look at the facts as you’ve detailed them:
1. You don’t enjoy penis-vagina (p-v) sex with your girlfriend
2. You don’t enjoy giving her oral sex
3. The only way you enjoy sex is when she gives you oral stimulation
Looks pretty clear to me: you don’t want to be sexual with this woman. Why is that, I wonder? Something about the intimacy of p-v may be problematic for you. Or you're not receiving enough stimulation during p-v. There are lots of possibilities, and it’s up to you to figure out which ones are pertinent.
You may be conflicted about being sexual with her, or p-v with her is not satisfying for you, or there may be some unresolved issues in your relationship, or perhaps you’re angry about something. In addition, you may be using a condom during p-v that is too thick and is thus inhibiting your ability to feel stimulation. Take some time to sit back and contemplate these issues to see if any resonate with you. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
