Hello.
Some penises are completely straight, some curve up or down, and some curve to one side or the other. All of these are
simplySimply sleep physical variations—like the difference in peoples’ noses. The only time to be concerned is if your penis curves so extremely that it’s difficult to be sexual with a partner.
If the bend is so extreme that it causes pain, you may have developed Peyronie's Condition. Peyronie's is a condition of uncertain cause, which is characterized by a plaque, or hard lump, that forms on the penis. The plaque develops on the upper or lower side of the penis in layers containing erectile tissue. It begins as a localized inflammation and can develop into a hardened scar, which causes penile curvature.
Now here’s some good news: some research has shown that approximately 20% of men who have Peyronie’s will have improvement or complete correction of their penile curvature within the first 12 months of their condition. Thus, as the plaque in Peyronie's disease may shrink or disappear without treatment, some medical experts suggest waiting a full year before attempting any correction. Peyronie's need not interfere with your sexuality unless the curvature becomes so severe that it causes great pain.
So if you're in pain, a urologist can diagnose the source and make some suggestions.
During their early self-pleasuring experiments, many men learn a very quick orgasm pattern in order to avoid detection—like in the bathroom (“You’ve been in there for hours! What are you doing?”) Learning to come quickly with a partner can also set up this pattern. Guilt, anxiety and relationship conflict may create a situation where some men just want to get it over with quickly so they won’t have to deal with any of those feelings. And, of course, if you’re focused on “performing,” rather than just enjoying yourself, your penis can become incredibly stubborn and uncooperative.
Many men think they have to last a very long time in order to please their partner, yet most studies show that around 75% of all males have an orgasm within 2 minutes of beginning penis-vagina (p-v) sex . I wonder if you’ve asked your wife whether SHE also wants you to last longer? Are you thinking that if you last longer, somehow she’ll have an orgasm during p-v sex? The fact is that most women DON’T orgasm during p-v sex. It’s a much more effective way for men to orgasm than women.
That said, here are some techniques for lasting longer:
First, slow down during self-pleasuring and unlearn that old pattern of quick orgasm. Try teasing yourself by stimulating yourself just to the point where you feel you’re about to orgasm, then backing off and relaxing, and then beginning again. This will give you a sense of control as well as teach you to recognize your own point of no return (when you know you're about to have an orgasm, no matter what). Another thing to try is when you feel yourself getting close to orgasm, relax, breathe deeply, and cease movement. Some men also find they last longer if they have an orgasm on their own awhile before beginning partner sex. This tends to take the edge off, if you will.
Once you feel in control of your orgasm, you can also examine whether you have any feelings of discomfort with being sexual—either with yourself or with a partner. These feelings of discomfort can create extreme conflict and cause you to feel the need to get it over with quickly. If you look at sex as something to finish quickly—get it up, get it in, get it off—you’ll need to let go of that old mentality. And naturally, any relationship conflicts can also contribute. Best of luck to you. Dr. J