Pregnancy/STD Concerns

I'll get straight to the point.  I am 25 years old and I had intercourse with a 39 year old single mom this past Friday night.  My sexual history thus far has been a very conservative one, seeing as I am easily "freaked out" by thoughts of pregnancy and STDs.  I feel pretty confident that this woman is sexually conservative as well, based on what I know of her.

I'm pretty sure this occurance was out of character for the both of us (at least, it was for me) because she told me she only had one other trist like this, many years before.  She had told me before, earlier in the night(in an unrelated conversation)that she has been tested,(which would have to had to occured since her first trist)because her husband had become addicted to drugs (which is why she's a single mome)and she wasn't certain what his activites may have included.  She's a great mom and a strong Christian but I know that doesn't necessarily mean anything. I believe her but I tend to assume the worst.  

Anyway,our sexual activities on Friday night included recieving oral sex from her and then vaginal intercourse.  She told me that she was not on birth control pills and had finished her period several days prior (perhaps even more than a week) which is why she requested I wear a condom.  (I always use one anyway)

There was no penetration prior to me putting on a condom.  I wore a condom throughout the entire act and about 3 minutes into it, I decided it was a bad idea and i stopped.  I NEVER ejaculated (although I know "precum" can carry sperm) and i wore the condom the entire time.  

My question is this:  Do you think I could have gotten her pregnant?  (I inspected the condom later that night and even filled it with water and air (did not put mouth on it) to see if it had possibly broken.  Both tests showed no leaks. (Weird I know, but I was really worried) I know condoms help prevent pregnancy but they aren't fool proof and she is not on birth control which means she's fertile. Should I be THIS worried?

My second question is this: Do you think I could have contracted any STDs from the oral sex or vaginal sex? I asked her nonchalantly if she had "anything" that i might could catch and she said no.  Still, it's in the back of my mind and waiting months for an HIV test, a HSV-2 test, etc will be agonizing.  

I am very concerned as things are going great for me right now and I don't want to have made a careless mistake.  I want children one day but I want them under the appropriate circumstances and I certainly don't want any diseases.  

I have heard it can be difficult to get a woman pregnant because there is only a window of time she can get pregnant. Truly, how easy is it to get a woman pregnant and should i be concerned given my situation? I am really losing sleep over this and I want some solid medical reasoning to quell my concerns over both pregnancy and STDs.


Thank you for your time and help. I think this is a wonderful thing you guys are doing.

[Kevin Pho, MD]

If you didn't ejaculate and were wearing a condom, it would be unlikely that pregnancy could occur.  Anything is possible, but the scenario described makes it unlikely.  

Oral sex does carry a risk of STD transmission.  If you are having symptoms, it would not be a bad idea to be tested for chlamydia, gonorrhea and other STDs.  

If there is still concern, you may want to discuss these questions with your personal physician.

Followup with your personal physician is essential.

This answer is not intended as and does not substitute for medical advice - the information presented is for patient education only. Please see your personal physician for further evaluation of your individual case.

Kevin, M.D.
Medical Weblog:
kevinmd_b

[ally'smommy]

IF YOUR SO WORRIED ABOUT THESE THINGS, WHICH IT IS OBVIOUSE YOU ARE, WHY DID YOU DO IT?????

[ConcernedFella]

Thank you for your prompt reply.  I should clarify that I have battled OCD my entire life which explains my fears over an unlikely scenario such as the one I described. Concise clinical information helps me to rationalize the "true" risk and helps reign in obsessive thoughts.

Just as a side bar on comments such as "IF YOUR SO WORRIED ABOUT THESE THINGS, WHICH IT IS OBVIOUSE YOU ARE, WHY DID YOU DO IT?????",I have this to say.  The intention of this website is to provide a venue through which people can have open dialogue with medical professionals and have their medical questions/concerns addressed in a frank and open manner.

It most certainly is NOT for people to be criticized or judged. I am not proud of myself, but I made a mistake and I know that after asking for forgiveness, I will be forgiven. But that is between me and someone much more informed than any of us.

The goal of medicine is to help people, not to impose ones values, cast judgements, or incite guilt. Before you make another comment such as the one you posted, I challenge you to do this.  Imagine if your physician tailored your treatment or refused to give you medication because your decisions or even mistakes didn't align with his or her personal values or beliefs.  

I understand your desire to point out the obvious, and hopefully it was done so with the desire to help.  However, if you truly want to help,I am certain you will have more success helping people change through compassion, encouragement and leading by example instead of chastizing and casting broad, uninformed judgements.  

I appolgize for taking up any of the physicians time with this post.

[ally'smommy]

sorry, didn't mean to upset you. just seemed logical to ask since you seemed so unnerved about the whole situation. wasn't judging.