I have tried numerous antidepressants and the longest I was on one was for one year and had no relief.
Hi there.
All of your symptoms together certainly makes me think that you are suffering from depression. This is not helped, I'm sure, by having to deal with the incredible stress of raising 3 year old twins. It sounds like you have seen several doctors, and have really had everything else ruled out.
It must be very frustrating to have tried so many different medications with no result. As far as that goes, all I can say is to make sure that you have given each a chance to work before moving on to the next. Many anti-depressants can take 4-6 weeks before you see any improvement. At that point, if there is some improvement, but you are still not feeling yourself, your doctor may opt to try an increased dose. Often people discontinue the medication if they don't see results relatively quickly.
Often people who don't get any or enough benefit from medications, or are against taking the medication, may be helped by some forms of therapy. If you haven't seen a counselor of some sort, it may be helpful.
Being a mother of young children is more work, and more difficult than most jobs, and so it is important that you have adequate support, and are able to get a break from time to time. Try to get involved with other moms, and to make time for yourself, even though it can seem impossible. You can't be the mom you want to be if you feel awful all of the time, and so taking the time out for you is really best for your kids too.
Exercise is a good outlet for stress, and can really change how you feel if you are able to get into a regular routine.
If you are having thoughts of harming yourself, or anyone else, you must seek medical attention emergently.
I really hope you are feeling better soon. Hang in there.
JMK MD