women only please help

[beachbunn1986]

im 24  when i was 11 i developed an eating disorder at first it was just restricting it progressively got worse i was anerexic and dropped down to 100 pounds i was starving all the time so i became bulimic i dropped down to 86 pounds and was hospitalized because i almost died i went to impatient treatment and gained weight but as soon as i got home i got down to 79 pounds i moved back home to florida where i was dating my then bf now hubby i was 19 when i moved i was very sick i would black out randomly and my vitels where off the charts i would pass out after sex and would vomit  bile. my hubby said he would leave me at the hospital if i didnt start getting better this whiped me into trying to get better i ate only crackers this was all i could handle for a long time i eventually got to 120pd  i was however still restricting and would eat somewhat normal but wuld purge any meat i ate  halloween of 06 i got pregnant i had n idea i was pregnant til 3 1/2 months and i ate and ate but my baby boy came out very healthy. after i had him i was angry at myself for getting so big  at this time i weighed 146 and felt discusting  i dieted and got to 135 i still felt so gross but my hubby said he enjoyed my body now more than ever which really bothered me. anyway i wanted another baby so when my son was 10 months i found out i was preg but i lost it 2 months later got preg again lost it  i was told these two where chemical preg  i got preg again 3 months later i lost this preg @ 2 months i had a D&c  i tried to get preg for 8 months nothing then out of the blue i find im preg again i lost this one due to a massive infection and cyst, i had surgery and got preg again in may lost this due to the infection still being around took med and its mostly gone but shouldnt affect a pregancy . now with all this that has been going on i find myself using ed as comfort i started restricting and lost weight   ( doc visit in july 133- doc visit end sept 123- scale at home now 116)  im anxious around food my hubby has no idea whats going on  this whole baby process has been to stressful on him to add more problems. i feel guilty about this but its mine and i can control it , im a vegan and have a bunch of food allergies so i use this as an exuse not to eat things or go out to eat   but when i find out im pregnant i eat very healthy to feed my growing baby. but my question is could what im **** with my ed cause me to not be able to get pregnant  iv never had issues with my period even at my worst  or do i just need to make sure that when i gat preg i eat as normal as i can. is there anyone out there who has had problems with ed and can help me   oh btw  all the test ive had done all come back normal thanks

[Risa615]

Glad to hear you are going to talk to your hubby.  It is so important to have a healthy body.  Porta De Rossi was saying in an interview recently that her organs almost shut down before she got help and that she hopes she can help others get the help they need.  I wish you lots of luck!  
Risa

[beachbunn1986]

thanks for your support my hubby is out of town but when he gets back im going to have a chat with him about this

[beachbunn1986]

yaeh sure no problem  :)   you cant send email  through this website you have to send it like a reg email  

[MEL4141]

Hello, thanks for your reply, your email address doesnt come through, can you send it via the message or note way if you click on my name. would love to talk more, lots love melissax

[Risa615]

One of my friends has been in recovery for an eating disorder, but she still goes to meetings often even after 20 years of staying in the program.   Eating disorders are the hardest kind to beat because you need to eat, unlike other addictions that you just stop doing.  I would really suggest you get in a good support group.  Recovery is a must for you especially since you are a mom.  

Here is a story of my friends sister, Gina.  She had an eating disorder, and went to a hospital to get better for six months, she was around 25 and had been married for 2 years.  After the hospital stay, she tried to get pregnant, but her doctor told her she would never get pregnant naturally.  She had IVF and had a daughter.  When that daughter was 2, she had IVF again and this time had triplets, 3 boys!  When they were 3, she found out she was pregnant naturally!  She has been in recovery since her hospital stay and she has been a healthy weight for the past several years.  She had a healthy baby that is now six months old.
So, getting your body healthy as well as your mind, needs to be your priority.  Please find a group or counselor so you can begin your journey to recovery.  Portia De Rossi just wrote a book about her struggle and it sounds like it was a hard journey, but worth it.
Take care,
Risa

[beachbunn1986]

thank you fo responding i was afraid people woud judge or lecture but no one really knows what its  like to really have a problem with food  its terrifiying when your drug of choice is something you have to have to live,  im sorry your having problems getting pregnant im so confused because i know lots of people who have had ed and gotten pregnant . id like to think theres a god but these days im not so sure . i think i ovulate every month i know i get a period every month.  have you tried taking any vitamins like prenatels while trying or folic acid i know i need to take some vitamins my nail beds are blue seems scary but it doesnt really affect me like it should. what have doctors told you is your reason for not getting pregnant?    im not sure what type of advice you want you can email me @ ***@**** to talk more    

[MEL4141]

Hello there, so sorry to hear of your distressing battle and lost pregnancies, I too have been effected by eating disorders most of my adult life, I am now 41 yrs and have low body weight because I watch what I eat(but still do have small bouts of bulimia), we have a son naturally conceived 2 and a half years ago and I was at a low weight then and wasnt even having periods, didnt know I was pregnant till I was nearly 5 mths! since then we have been trying desperatly for a sibling and have had 3 rounds of unsuccessful ivf. I know its my weight that effects fertility but I also know I became pregnant before at a low weight and had a very healthy boy.  I dont ovulate very often so with my age being  a factor aswell, I have to prepare myself that it may never happen. I am not one to stress healthy eating because as a person that has had anorexia/bulimia I know the disorders always stay with you, even if you recover fully, there will always be an element watching what and how much you eat. Most people just control their eating and still have bad patches now and again, I am one of them.You are a vegan so your diet is restricted anyway, can you give me any advice? you have been through so much with all your pregnancies, i just wish i could get pregnant! but seriously I think our ed do effect our chances of conceiving, I am trying to put on half a stone but its very hard when you've had a ed all your life, best wishes melissax  

[beanie485]

You really should try to eat healthy now even if you are not pregnant yet and not just wait til you become pregnant. There is nothing that I can do or say that will help you with your eating disorder I have never been in your shoes and am very sorry that you have to go through this but what I do know is that it is VERY serious and you do need to seek medical attention because you are putting your life in danger.

But your eating disorder in the long run can very much affect your fertility, but I pray that you will get some help and will keep you in my prayers