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1693826 tn?1308864385

17 year old parents

is it wrong for two 17year olds to wanna have a baby and have been trying for close to a year? live together and getting married soon.
64 Responses
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5005564 tn?1362543097
I didnt even see how old this post was! Anyways hope all has worked out for you!
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5005564 tn?1362543097
It is never as easy as you seem to think it is. I have my own house, a job and family to help. I was 19 when I got pregnant with my son, had him at twenty. I was also engaged, living together etc. When my son was six months old his "perfect father" up and left. Then my son had some major health issues. He had to have 2 brain surgeries, 2 spinal taps, & 3 seperate hospital stays. Raising a child is no easy task. You never know what could happen. Not saying you would have an unhealthy baby but you NEVER know. I am now almost 22 expecting my 2nd and although I love my kids to the end of the earth being young and being a mother is difficult. I suggest going to college, celebrating your 21st birthday, having the wedding you wanted, getting some life experience in and then having a baby. Babies are wonderful and Im sure you'll be a great mother but enjoy life a little! Party! Stay out til 2 o'clock in the morning! (not condoning drinking) but you understand what I'm saying. Those are times and experiences you cant get back, once you have a baby all of that is over.
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1693826 tn?1308864385
i got one the 22 ast one. ill let everyone know what happens first chance i get. hope all is ok keep me in ur prayers plzzzz ladyz:(
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1693826 tn?1308864385
i have been trying to. and i am in the next week
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Avatar universal
I said before that you have a lot to learn. You are young and have so much more to experience and find out about your body and the world in general. Finding a gynecologist is not very difficult and you need to do that soon to find out about what is going on with your body. Go online to google, type in "gynecologist in 'your city', 'your state'". It should give you a number of responses for doctors in your area. Then you can look up their ratings and find out which one seems good, then call and make an appointment. If you think you are ready to be a mother, then start acting like an adult and take control of your own health by going to the doctor.  
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1693826 tn?1308864385
how does me not knowing when i ovulate have anything to do with me being ready for a baby??? i have been keeping up with it (or so i thought) by taken test everyday!!!! and two days out of the month every month  says +. i didnt know it wasnt right cuz my mom told me i still ovulate so yeah... i didnt know and thats not my fault. i cant find a doc. to find these things out!!! im trying and getting better everyday. and as i said b4 if i get pregnant i do if i dont i dont im not ''TRYING" to get pregnant....
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Avatar universal
I'm not trying to start any drama, I'm just frustrated. You say you are ready to be a mom, yet you don't even know when you ovulate or if you do at all. I know for a fact that you don't ovulate. I'm a health science major in college and have studied health for a while now. You can't ovulate and not have a period. You still have a lot to learn and you are so stuck on trying to get pregnant now, ignoring all of the advice that has been given to you urging you to wait until you are truly ready to be a mom. If you want to continue to ignore everyone and get pregnant anyways, then go for it. But it would be a good idea to take the advice given to you to heart and really think about it because many women have told you the same thing as I have. Your 17 and you have all the time in the world to get pregnant later, but right now you are not ready. I say this not to put you down, but because I hope you have a good life and get to experience and learn more before you bring a child into this world. Good luck.    
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1693826 tn?1308864385
no need to be that way im not here for drama if thats what u want go start drama somewhere else thanx. now... i asked to see if maybe my mom was wrong then when everybody started sayin no im not then i was making sure they KNOW FOR A FACT bacause this is not something to mess around with
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Avatar universal
Well if you supposedly already know the answer, why are you asking?

If you haven't had a period in a year, you are not ovulating. Because if you did ovulate, you would have a period. When an egg is not fertilized it dies and then you shed your uterine lining, having a period. But I guess that doesn't apply to you.
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1693826 tn?1308864385
ell my mom knows my whole story she went to school to be a nurse. she said i ovulate even without a period...
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Avatar universal
You aren't ovulating since you haven't had a period in a year.
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1351105 tn?1277142905
Some times you can still ovulate without a period. It all depends on how long you haven't had a period. If you just miss like a month or two you're still able to ovulate but if you miss more than that, it means no ovulation.
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1693826 tn?1308864385
thank you. can anyone tell me if no period means no ovulation??? i cant find the true answer anywhere. everywhere i ask i get all kinds of diff. answers!
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1351105 tn?1277142905
  I'd have to agree with a lot of these women. I got pregnant at 21 with my son had him at the age of 22, yeah I thought I could handle every little thing. They take a lot of work. Waking up at odd hours of the night, not getting much sleep, then they get older and more work arrives. I'll be 25 next month, got married to my son's father last year. We barely spend time just the 2 of us since our son was born. My mother in law didn't want anything to do with our son at the beginning, long story there. We have to plan ahead just to step out the door for anything. Do we have his diaper bag? Is his car seat secure enough? Does he need his diaper changed before we go? Where is the nearest place with a restroom in case he needs changed? It does get fun to watch them grow, I mean I love my son so much, he's going on 3 now and bugging for a little sister/brother. Which now we are definitely ready for another one but it does get tough when you want to sleep in but can't because you're husband is working and you have to get up, make him breakfast. Make sure he eats right. Feed him snacks, lunch and dinner. Give him a bath, struggle just to change his diapers and clothes, keep him from climbing the stairs by himself, keep him away from things he shouldn't get into and the list goes on and on. Don't get me wrong kids are a joy to have but it can be stressful to not even get 5 minutes to shower/sit/read a book. It takes a lot of time and a lot of patience with a child. I've gotten so used to it so it doesn't bother me. I don't have any friends where I live at. The only family I have near me are my in laws and they do get annoying some times but I love them dearly. Children do make you grow up a lot quicker than expected. Also it is hard even on your marriage since you don't have too much time together except at night but then you're both so tired to even talk, you just lie and bed and you're out before telling each other good night. And that was during the first year after giving birth. When they get older the more and more they can wear you out but it does take a bit of time to be able to fit in a little bit of together ness before you turn out the lights and fall asleep. Then each day starts it all over again. I'm not trying to say don't do this, it's yours and your partner's decision. I wish you the best and hope that you'd be able to handle all the responsiblities as parents and as a married couple
Best of luck and Best wishes to you with everything :)
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1693826 tn?1308864385
well thats why i call him my future husband. because we are getting married very soon and i am ready. oh and the birth control thing wont work im done with it. i was on it for two years and it messed me up sooooo bad then i got off of it and didnt have a period for over a yeah then i went to the doc. and they gave me pills to start my period it worked i had my period october 7th then i haven had one since other than when i tried birth control one more time then i had my period for a whole month now nothing and im off of it again now because everything was just fine and normal b4 they messed me up very bad on bc!:,(
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Avatar universal
it's been said to wait...and you've fought back... I'm not going to say wait until a certain age...because lets face it... some people aren't ready for a child at 17 but some are. Some people would hate to be 30 and just having their first child...others dream to be that old when they first conceive!

What I will say...is why not get married first...then try for that baby. I've wanted a baby since I was about 15...doesn't mean I went out and had one... I'm desperately trying for a baby now...and I'm only 22. I've been trying for 2 years but both of those years I've been married. No, marriage isn't a guarantee that the baby's father will definitely stay around...but it's at least a step in the right direction. Let me say...although I've prayed and dreamed of a baby for the past 2 years...until very recently if we'd had a child it would have been so hard financially. Now, we both have jobs that pay well...and we're in a lot better place for a baby.

I know exactly how you feel though. Sometimes it's hard to hide that baby want inside...but maybe just a little longer. My mom had her first child at age 16... she had 7 more after that...she worked 40hrs a week...she went to school full time... and she now has her Masters degree. Yes, she will tell you she loves her children...but she'll tell you how she wishes she'd gotten an education first...so that's something to think about to.

Good luck with everything. =)
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Avatar universal
I'm glad you are going for a doctor's appointment. While you are there, you should discuss birth control options for the time being until you are ready to have a baby in the future. Many times the doctor will put you on the birth control pill anyways to 'restart' your period, so I would suggest you continue to use it. Then you can go to school to further your education, get a stable job with a stable income, and save up money to prepare yourself for a family. Your dream may turn into a nightmare if you get pregnant soon, because you will struggle to raise a baby in your current situation. Give yourself some time and you can have a wonderful family down the road.
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1693826 tn?1308864385
yeah i was really down but im much beter now. i talked to my mom yesterday and she made me feel so much better:) she let me know that even without a period i still ovulate so thats good to hear and she is making me a doc. app. a.s.a.p. so maybe ill finmd out whats wrong in the next week or so. thanx for the comment. not giving up my dream:) im gonna keep reaching out to god for what i want and let him hold it all in his hands:)
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231441 tn?1333892766
aj,

Hon, sounds like you are very down today.

It is way too early for you to say something like this.

There are many reasons for not having a period. Most of these are treatable.

the most common reason for not having periods is polycystic ovarian syndrome.

Can you see a doctor about this and get checked out.  it is important to have regular periods.
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1693826 tn?1308864385
well all i have to say is o dont think im ever getting pregnant. i haven had a period since last october so yeah.... no baby for me ever anyway. thanx for all the comments but im just gonna be another one iof them people that always dreamed of a child and never gets it.
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Avatar universal
Jobcorps can be a fine temporary solution, but an actual education would do a lot more for you. "Job Corps is a free education and training program that helps young people learn a career, earn a high school diploma or GED, and find and keep a good job."(description of the program). Though I thought you were already out of school? Or maybe I misread something you wrote before. What are you interested in for a career? If a 4 year university is not for you, you can go to a community college and get your AA. You can also go to other trade schools to learn a certain skill that can turn into a career. Maybe you can look into becoming a pediatric or neonatal nurse, since you love children. Going to college and earning a degree can really help you and it's good to have that degree to fall back on if you run into job troubles down the line, such as being laid off or cut hours. Without a some type of degree or certification from a trade school, no one is going to want to hire you, so it's important to have something that sets you apart. Also, the college experience can be very fun as well. It's a lot different than high school and you'd be picking the classes you want to study(other than the GE classes you have to take). I hated high school, but college has been great and I'm getting close to getting my bachelors of science degree. I have always loved children as well. I nanny for 2 young girls, baby sit, had a puppy, watch my cousin's baby and my fiance's nephew, but none of that is close to what it is actually like to have your own children. It's completely different, just ask around. I would love to be a mom as well, but I also know that now is not the right time. It would be mean to bring a child into the world when I know we'd struggle to get everything together. I want to finish school and get my degree, be married, be set more financially, have some time for just me and my husband, and then we would try for a family. If I had a baby before all of that, I would 1) miss out on a lot of experiences and 2) struggle to make ends meet, which is no way to live. There is no need to rush to grow up and I know you'll see that later if you wait.    
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1693826 tn?1308864385
im glad u understand MJinWaiting and i know there trying to help. i understand where everyone is coming from and i thank yall. im not going to make my whole life about trying to have a baby if it happens it does and ill be more than happy. if it dosent when i get a little older and have more money i will go to a doctor and try to get help with not being able to become pregnant. until i get pregnant (up to God) im gonna live life to the fullest and something i didnt mention is i have lots of friends and family me and my boyfriend do work for that love us workn for them and need us just as much as we need them for extra cash and savings. another things me and my boyfriend might try someday if having a baby dosent happen soon is jobcore. its a school that pays and helps you to get better jobs and gives you a place to stay until you finish. it takes a few months to a year to finish. research it and tell me what you think??? and thanks again everyone and good luck MJinWaiting with having a baby you have always wanted i know its hard feeling like it may never happen even at 17 it is something i worrie about every single day of my life. and looking at all the happy familys with babys makes me say awh and i wish it was me just like you said you did i so understand.
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Avatar universal
Dear AJ,

I know exactly where you are coming from. I am not going to tell you not to do it bc at your age no one could tell me not to do it either. But I will tell you that all I have ever wanted in my entire life is to be a mom, I never cared about a job, being a wife, having a house or anything, nothing mattered to me except that I wanted a baby. I wanted to be a young mom because my mom was young with me and I always wanted that with my kids. I have a younger sister who I have been a "second mom" to since she was born.

I could have been a good mom when I was 17. and I could have been a good mom at 20, and 23...but  I am almost 26 and looking back now I always thought I was ready to be a mom and I thought I was ready then..but looking back now I am SOOOOOO much more ready now, and I can be a GREAT mom now!! No ifs ands or butts about it.

I have been married for a year and a half now and we have been trying as well. you said something in a post earlier that your biggest fear is not being able to have kids, and let me tell you how much I can relate to that. We are having problems now and are currently in the middle of IVF. everytime I used to see a baby i would just stare in awe and think I cant wait for that to be me. But I can tell you with every ounce of my being, that now more than ever I can give a child the best life I possibly can, and looking back to when I was ready at 17 (which like I said I could have been a good mom) I am so much more prepared to have a child. And instead of being a good mom, now I can give my child a good life. Because as badly as I want to be a mom, its more important to me to have a child that will grow up and be proud of me and the choices I made. I want my kids to follow in my footsteps and I want to be a good example for my kids. I wouldnt want me kids to struggle through things at 17 to be a mom so Im glad that I waited.

Waiting isnt for everyone and you may really be ready and no one can tell you that youre not, I think all the women here on these forums have made a bond with eachother and truly care about one another and these women are trying to give you the advice that your mom should have given you but unfortunately was unable to do so.

Whatever you choose to do, just make sure your happy and healthy. Like I said Im so glad that I waited. I hate having to go through infertility and its a struggle that I go through daily, but I would rather take the hard times now and struugle preparing for a child and then getting what Ive always wanted, rather than get a child that ive always wanted and then struggle through hard times the rest of my life.

Good luck with your decision, Im sure its not easy for you.
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Avatar universal
a cat? come on a cat is nothing like taking care of a baby.... you need to wait a baby is way more work and way more expensive than a cat! how do you plan on taking care of this child? your 17 you need to finish growing up before having a baby of your own i know you probly think you are grown but your not your still a child yourself.... I had my first at that age and i wish i would of waited a couple years before having him he is my world but i still wish i would of waited. I missed out on alot!!  Just my opinion from experience good luck with your decision. I pray you make the right one
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