39, Will do first IUI in May, any advice for first timer?

Hey everyone,
I'm 39 and will marry in early May. 1 week later I will be at the fertility clinic to get my first IUI.  I'm healthy and have no serious health problems, have spent most of my 30's exercising and trying to eat right and take care of myself.  But I know that mother nature could care less how I look on the outside.  My partner has good sperm and count and my parts are working properly - but still was told that IUI will only give me a 10-12% chance at successful pregnancy and IVF will give me a 30% chance at successful pregnancy.  Both my parents have passed away and so has my partners mother so not many older women to talk to about this that understand my dilemma in wanting to have children now and start a family.  So here I am, looking for support and stories to help me along in this journey.
First of all, I'm scared of IVF.  I can't explain it but something about it scares me. I am hoping that the IUI will work but I am only willing to give it one chance in May and if it doesn't work, I will start IVF in June.  can anyone tell me what actually happens to you?  I read that there is some surgery involved??  Have you had any wierd side effects??  
Look forward to hearing from anyone....
Peppypeep:)
My background:  getting married "on paper" in early May, we want to have a family an don't want to miss the window - we met later in life but have dated for 2 1/2 years, moved in together 6 months ago and are very happy.  Will do a real ceremony later next year sometime.  Ready to be a Mom!

[Tanker Chic]

I would give IUI 3 to 4 chances at least.  It is much cheaper than IVF and often takes a couple times before you get pg.  my son was conceived on my 3rd IUI, and I am 7wk pg now and this time it happened on the 4th IUI (not including the 3 it took for my son).

best of luck to you.

[texasangel343]

Do you have any fertility problems??  I know several ladies in their upper 30s tht have conceived naturally within a few months.  IUI is the least expensive of the two, and isn't hard on the body at all...but I find it interesting that your OBGYN is heading straight for that, unless you've been trying for a while.  

I agree with Tanker Chic.  Give IUI a few times to work.  IVF is so hard on the body and there are alot more things that go into it.

Good luck to you!

[peppypeep]

thanks texasangel343 and tanker chic!

We tried for 1 year, but were interupted by the illness and death of my Mom.  So in reality, we've only tried for maybe 4-5 months.  But because I documented with the doctor properly, I could pursue the fertility clinic through my insurance (doctor documented that we were trying for at least one year).    So since insurance will cover this, I thought that if the IUI doesn't work in May, I would just skip to the IVF - if insurance allows it.  I just want the biggest bang for my buck.  But it seems you both support having several IUI's.  I'm just scared that the window is closing for me and that even waiting one month is risky.  I would rather have a 30% chance than a 10-12% chance.  The choice is mine, but texasangel343 you are right - my OBGYN may think differently. I really haven't spoken to my doctor directly about this since I made the decision last week. Maybe when it comes down to it, I might try IUI in June as well, and put off IVF until July.  

Again, I am a first timer so I'm a little gung ho right now.  I am, however, determined to have my own child.  
Again, thankyou both for your thoughts, I'd like to hear a few more from others out there.....
Thanks!

[Tanker Chic]

When I went to my RE he did give options of starting with IUI or going straight to IVF depending on how aggressive we wanted to be.  If you are concerned about your age, it might be worth going straight to IVF or heck, start IUI now.  It is the new millennium plenty of people are doing it :) My DH and I started trying before we got married but we never anticipated it would take so long.  Really it is just whatever you decided.  Some people prefer the more aggressive approach and there is nothing wrong with deciding that.  Best of luck to you!!

[tivey]

Hi
I am almost 37 and in the middle of my first IUI I should know this weekend if it worked or not. I think AF is coming but I have given up trying analyise it (well trying too anyway)
I never thought I would be considering IVF - both of us are healthy and no issues but afer one miscarrage (miscarriage) and trying for so long now (2 yrs) we are going to IVF. My advise woud be to try IVF as soon as you can. I know of a couple of friends who are your age who tried IVF and got preganant on the 2nd time but both have said they wish they did it earlier. One had done 5 IUI's and one had done 4 IUI's - all unsucessful.

I understand you are scared I was too and still am actually  - lets face it - it's bringing out the big guns !! but my friends said the drugs are not that different just stronger and although it takes a lot out of you one of them preferred it to IUI!

I know you have not been trying for that long but at your age I would really for IVF because from what I have read you need about 2/3 months prep then it may not happen straight away and time just flies by.
I have decided to do one more IUI next month if this doesn't work and take 3 months off to prepare my body and start IVF in June. that means I have 2 chances before the end of the year.

That said its such a roll of the dice and this site has some wonderful stories of people getting pregnant agains all odds which just shows you that anything can happen and does. Good luck and if you looking for a good IVF book I recommend Zita West her books were the best I have found not just about IVF but all aspects.

Tivey

[peppypeep]

Thank you Tivey,

I really appreciate your stories and advice.  Right now I am not sure how my insurance will cover the procedures, that is, if I have to get an IUI first and then an IVF or if I can just go for IVF right away.  It does make sense to go for IVF right away, and I might lean in that direction. I was just hoping that the IUI would work, but I can't rely on hope - like most of the people here, I just wish I had more time.  Oh well....

You make a very convincing argument, let's face it, IVF is my best option and it might take more than one hit.  If that's the case, then I'm wasting valuable time with the IUI.  If my insurance allows it, I might just do an IVF in May and skip the IUI altogether.  I need more info from the insurance company.  

I have been studying the calendar so that I can get my schedule ready for these procedures. Thanks again for your advice, it is helping me to focus on my schedule.  I just hope to God this works!!!

[tivey]

Yes its crazy expensive. But as a friend said to me a while back the cost of her 5 IUI's over the last year os so could have got her an IVF package! Another friend of mine who has just given birth to her second on IVF said well you either have a holiday or you try IVF!  (she must go to soem really nice places!")

Good luck and keep me posted. I am new to this as well and I might be joining you on the IVF route!  I would be going sooner but I promised my husband I would do 2 IUI's before I bring in the big guns. I am actually quite excited because it really means it can happen the % is so much higher...

Take care

Tivey
  

[peppypeep]

Tivey,
Thank you again so much. I will keep you posted as to how things go. I am very excited as well!  In the meantime, we'll keep trying the old fashioned way!

By the way, I checked with my insurance and I am covered so, whew! Glad that's out of the way.  Tonight I will dream of babies!

Pep

[tivey]

fantastic news your covered with insurance - well you just gotta go full steam ahead!!

[peppypeep]

Well, wedding plans are going well. Will marry in six weeks so I can start IUI or IVF right away.  I'm very excited and so are our families. I think the happier I am in the month that I start the fertility treatment, the better my chances.  I don't want to be stressed but I am hoping that I will be pregnant by the summer sometime.  I really want to thank everyone for their encouragement and kind words. I really want to start a family and like most women on this board, I am worried about when it will happen. I love hearing stories about women who are having children at 40.  A friend of mine sent me an e-mail and told me she had her last child at 40 and liked being an older parent. I really look forward to the future right now like never before. Please feel free to share your story of IUI or IVF. I would like to understand it more.... Thanks.

[babywanted556]

Please be prepared that the first cycle does not always work for every one either IVF, and each cycle may take up to 3 months to try again if it's failed and sometime more if it's involed the emotional loss.
I started this treament since I'm 35 and thought I still have time to try IUIs before move to IVF.  Getting pregant is hard, carry it to full term is another story if we're old.  I'm 38 , got positive on the second and third IVF, but ectopic pregnancy last month and still trying for the first baby now.
I wish you best luck, and got your baby soon.  If you need support, we're all here for you.
please keep us posted.

[peppypeep]

OK, so we married last month and boy was it fun!!!

Now that all the fanfare has died down I can get excited about IUI.  I started taking the gonal a few days ago and am scheduled for the procedure on Thursday6/11.  I'm very excited!!!  So far only one follicle is mature enough for this cycle.  My fsh was 9.5 - normal for my age.  I can't wait to go on Thursday!!!  My hubby is very excited to be pregnant too!
If I have two failed IUI's then the insurance will approve me for IVF. My hope is that this IUI will work and all this worry will have been for nothing.  Wish me luck! :))

[kmcarino]

Good luck!!!  I hope the IUI works for you too!

[nina2249]

I went through 3 cycles of iui's with the use of gonal-f and clomid to my disappointment they were all negative. I just finished my 3rd and it was negative as well. And both of us are healthy. I'm taking a break for now after trying every month for a year. And i will move on to IVF in the fall.With all the money i used for iui's I should of done IVF. At 3000 a cycle. But woulda coulda shoulda. This is one of life's great lesson of HOPE, PATIENCE, PRESERVERIENCE to move forward.BUT with what ever you decide we all wish you well. Good luck.

[peppypeep]

Nina2249,

Thanks so much for the comment.  My insurance covers all the fertility treatments in my state so I am not worried about the cost. Right now my insurance will only approve IVF if i have 2 failed IUI's.  I am hoping it does not get to this point. By the way, when your IUI's failed how many follicles were matured at the time, that is, how many eggs did they say you had available? Just curious.  
I know it is hard to have children at our age but we are going to try as hard as we can and use everything known to modern science to make it happen. I think you need to add DETERMINATION to that list, because you really have to be determined to make all this happen when you need fertility treatment.  All I want is a healthy, happy child. Hopefully we will get two. I just got an e-mail from a friend the other day and she had her kids at 38 and 40.  We were good friends in our 20's and she now lives in London so it is really interesting that she has had the experience of being an older mother.  Its nice to have someone to compare notes with.  I wish you good luck as well with your IVF, don't give up if you want that baby, now is the time to get the job done!  

Thanks again for your kind words.
peppypeep

[nina2249]

I had 4 the second time... 18,19,20,14 and three this last time 21,22,19 and my first was the clomide challenge . Yes I think all of us ladies on have DETERMINATION in our blood. lol I'm not giving up just taking a breather. AF showed her ugly face today.

[peppypeep]

Nina2249,

I just had the iui this morning. If my period does not come on the 25th, I could be preggers!
I will have a blood test done on the 29th.  I am excited right now and so is my hubby. We are just trying hard not to get too psyched up, I know things can go wrong. I'm just happy it is done for now, it will be nice to take a break for a couple of weeks  from taking shots and getting blood tests.  I guess now is the waiting game.....ho-hum.

BTW, I only had one mature follicle at 19 and another at 8/9.  So I'm only working with one egg I think. I'm going to have to cross my fingers!
peppypeep

[aksuse]

Hi All!  

We just had our first IUI yesterday - natural cycle - on June 18, 2009.  Blood pregnancy test scheduled for July 2.  I'm almost 35, all my IF tests are normal.  Husband is 47, has slightly low motility.  We've been trying for 17 cycles.  Not a fun roller coaster when all of our friends and family are having babies around us - the emotions for me have been horrible.  

My thoughts and prayers are with all of you, and I totally understand the feelings of urgency when it comes to that biological clock ticking away!  Plus, I was laid off and we have no health insurance.  We're moving forward because of the time factor - we can't pay now, but if we don't try now we may lose our window forever.  It's a nightmare situation, but we are so hopeful for a family.

Baby Dust Around!
Susan
    

[peppypeep]

Well my first IUI failed. So I will start my second iui meds in two days.  I am really happy that there has been almost no down time from me finding out today of no preg to me starting the next iui.  The next one will be good because I am going on vacation and will have the procedure on my first day of vacation. I will have the whole week to relax and get pregnant I hope!  My husband just says "we keep moving forward!".  I wish I was younger but hopefully the miracle of science will help me.  If this iui fails as well, then I will move on to ivf.  I actually hope I can do ivf because I have a higher % chance of pregnancy.  Wish me luck as I begin the next iui cycle!
Baby dust to all !
peppypeep

[peppypeep]

Well it looks like my second IUI is a BFP!!!
Just got the blood work done today and it was BFP and my levels are 266!
My hubby and I are very excited and I am very relieved.
Baby dust to everyone!

[babywanted556]

Congratulations.......266 is a great number.  When will you have your U/S?
I just switch my insurance and it covers 100% for IUIs but IVF.  However, I'm going to start my 4th IVF next week because of the 4 failed IUIs and my age (39).

[peppypeep]

Thanks so much. I have no idea really what the 266 means, all I know is that I must reach 532 on Wed!

I don't have a scheduled ultrasound yet.  I am glad you are covered by insurance, I am as well.  You and I are the same age and it seems like you have been through a lot of fertility treatment. I'm curious, have you been given any real explanation to your infertility?  

anyway, I'll keep you posted about the beta numbers, etc. Good luck, baby dust to you!  :)

[peppypeep]

Had my second blood test today and it was 567!!!! Yay!
So excited!
My first u/s is July 29!
Can't wait!  happy baby dust to all!

[babywanted556]

wow, it's a good news.  July 29 is only a week away.  I'm so excited for you too.
I has male factor, maybe that's why I'm gone thru many failed IUIs.  I hope I can get BFP by the end of Aug.
Thanks

[peppypeep]

Well my 2nd ultrasound came back and the baby is not developing normally. I am 7 weeks and the baby looks about 6 weeks. They said this indicates something wrong with the dna.
Baby will wind up a miscarriage but I will have a follow up ultrasound next week to make sure. Termination of the pregnancy will probably happen next weekend. :(

Sorry to bring such awful news, however, I am in good spirits and looking forward to doing IVF for the first time in the late fall. I have to wait a couple of months before I can start the process so I will use this time wisely.  The doctor said the pregnancy had nothing to do with anything I did or ate, just being 39 is the problem.  I had a 10-12% chance of getting pregnant with IUI and of that, 30% usually miscarry.  So this was really a long shot for me!   With IVF I will have a 30% chance of pregnancy but still a 30% chance that each embryo could miscarry.  I will be able to squeeze in an IVF before I turn 40, so that is a good thing.  
I am sorry to have to tell this to  you ladies at this time, but I wanted to let you know.
Keep pursuing your dream and try to keep a good, sensible attitude about it as I have. Baby dust to everyone!   Also, thanks for all your well wishes!

[texasmade2117]

i find out out Thursday May 26th for pregnancy test. this is my first iui. I had tubal reversal a year ago. getting married June 4th... so much stuff going on. But im praying for a positive on thursday..