40smama

hi jen, ok so here comes the paranoia and the analyzing, how soon after your transfer did you test,. POAS.. I am still feeling just blah on and off, nothing specific, scant pink when wiping, still, not really cramps, but twinges here and there, I am obsessing, here, My whole head is stuffy due to allergies, And I am not taking anything, I heard you can take sudafed, not the PE but straight sudafed. would you happen to know. anyway thanks for listining, just wondering what your symptoms were, and did you do a 5 day transfer, and how many did you put back in, how many did you have left to freeze.. thanks a million

Luci

[40smama]

Hi Luci - sorry I just saw the post at 11:00 this evening.  My day kind of sucked - anyway, Sudafed's fine to take and you're right - just the 'straight' kind.  I didn't do a poas test until the night before my beta.  I was so convinced that I wasn't pregnant that I wanted to get myself prepared for bad news.  

We also did a 5 day transfer - single embryo.  The re and embryologist and dh ganged up on me and convinced me not to even think about a multiple pregnancy.  They kept quoting studies that said #'s don't mean higher chances of getting pregnant - whatever - it didn't make any sense to me.  We did have 9 to freeze.

The scant pink really sounds like to me like implantation which is GREAT!  Girl, I know that paranoia WELL so please write to me anytime.  I too had some twinges (I'm not sure I would call them cramps).  The reason I was convinced I wasn't pg was because I was totally w/out symptoms.  I mean I was a tiny bit tired and nauseated but I thought it was probably from the progesterone in oil shots.  

Have you read "The Secret"?  I don't as a habit advocate books of this nature but this one helped me get through the tww as it gave me good things to focus on like I made this bulletin board of babies at different stages of development, pregnant women, etc & then I would do all of these visualization 'techniques' like visualizing getting positive results, holding a baby, being pregnant, you get my drift, right?

Try doing that - it might help & please write or pm me anytime!!!!!!!! - jen

[babyprayers]

hi jen,

      fist of all I am sorry you have not been feeling all that great!!! and I am so sorry to bombard you with questions. I am losing it here, LOL.. I had great embies, great lining, accupuncture afterwards, and 5 days off to do nothing but rest.. I took an HPT last nite, negative of course, but it was only 2 days post transfer, and i got very little urine.. talk about obsessive, felt a little down, thinking maybe I would get even a tiny faint line,, I bought 4 HPTs FRER so I have 3 left, I did not test this AM.. I just know I am so impatient, and I want to know,, Yes I have read the secret, great book!!!! I went to barnes and noble book store last nite, just looking at books about implantation, and earliest embies would implant. I have read anywhere from 2-4 days after transfer, but My thought is, if there day 5 and they put them in at the time they would have made it down to the uterus, possible they could implant on the same day!!! **sigh** I need to get a grip.. I cannot thank you enough for your help in answering my questions.. take care of yourself, and hope things are going better for you

Luci

[llenda]

Hi ladies, hope you don't mind me coming in.  I am also sorry you haven't felt well Jen.  I just did a HPT and BFN : (  I am losing it too Luci.  This is third IVF.  My beta is on 12/24.  Transfer (4 3day embies) was 12/8.  It seems like my clinic waits a long time before they do the beta so I was thinking that if they have implanted than I should be having some HCG in my urine by now.  Luci, I have read implantation can be anywhere from 7-10 days, some sights even say 12 days, so I think even for 5 day old embies, they may need at least a couple of days to fully hatch, make it to the lining, and implant, then another so many days to produce enough HCG to be excreted in the urine.  Each IVF, I write down all my symptoms.  I know the progesterone causes a lot of artificial signs, but it doesn't seem like I experienced this much dizziness before.  It is just off and on during the day.  My BB's don't feel as sore as the first week.  Yesturday I was pretty gassy (sorry).  Oh, have either one of you experienced hot flashes and chills.  Is your temp suppose to go up?  Jen, did you experience any of this?  

[babyprayers]

jump right in, I need all the support and advise I can get right now,. I have NO symptoms, well, every now and again I feel like pinches. below the naval on either side. My BB are not sore, every so often I think oh they hurt, but its minute, and its not really pain, sort of like tingly. if that makes any sense at all. wow, you had your transfer all the way back on the 8th adn they make u wait that long?? that is quite a haul.. I wish you the very best of luck!!! this is my first IVF with donor eggs, I had IUI 6 times.. ** sigh** just making myself nuts trying to figure things out.. I did take an HPT this am I know, way to early only 3 days post transfer. but I was curious  

[llenda]

I get sore BB's (even without IVF) right after ovulation.  I started having like dull pelvic pain about 4 days after transfer.  Sometimes it seemed to be more in my groin than in the uterus.  It drives me crazy not to know if they even made it to day 5 or 6 to implant.  Even now, I have a little pelvic cramp now and then.  I think I will test again either tomorrow or Thursday morning. Thursday morning will be 12 DPT.  I am kind of stuck with what to do if this doesn't work.  I think my ins. will pay for one more IVF but it is so hard.  I don't know if it is a waist of time or not.  I am not sure if I would rather do donor eggs and feel hopeful again or try one more time.  The thing is, we had great embies, great lining, great everything, so if it doesn't work than maybe it is never going to work with my eggs.  I definitely think you tested too early.  So how many embies did you transfer and did you freeze any?

[babyprayers]

My cycle could not have been better. I did a split donor, where there was one donor 2 reciepents. donor had 28 eggs we each got 14, so out of my 14 11 were mature and 8 fertalized. ALL 8 made it to day 5, my RE said 2 were just ok, and 6 were beautiful, my lining about a week before the transfer was at 10.. I reeally could not have asked for better conditions. we froze 6 and he put back in 2. I went for acupuncture right after the transfer, and have been taking it easy ever since, I cannot really say bed rest, but I have done a whole lot of nothing since saturday, I have absoultuely no symptoms, just keep poking BB hoping htey get sore, but then again I am still really early

[llenda]

That sounds great.  I always wondered how they decided who gets what eggs and what if it is an uneven amount.  That is great to have those frozen b/c you can have more later.  Do you have any kids?  I am trying not to think about that BFN but it is hard not to.  Dang it I wish I wouldn't have done it (HPT).  So was your donor retreival on the 9th, I was trying to figure out the difference in our embies.  My retrieval was on the 5th.  So, I think our embies are only like four days apart.  When is your beta?    

[llenda]

Oh Jen, you said you didn't POAS till the night before beta, how many days past transfer were you?  Did it show a strong positive?

[babyprayers]

my donor had retrieval on the 10th., I do have one DD who just turned 10 on the 10th.. lol. she is from previous marriage, natural. I did the transfer on saturday the 15th

[llenda]

So, I just told DH.  He was mad that I even tested but its ok now.  I just feel like it should be showing up by now.  I saw this post where this lady did IVF 19 times before she was successful.  I just can't even imagine doing this that many times.  Anyway, I am hoping this is that 1 in 100 that doesn't show up right away.  I'm just reaching now.  Luci, I am sorry for being so down and I am sure you are going to come out with a healthy baby : )  

[40smama]

Hi Luci (again) - please, please bombard me w/questions anytime.  llenda - I think it was 9 days past transfer because my clinic tested at 10 days.  I know that a lot of them test at 14 days.  I'm sorry for your BFN - when's your beta?  If you said it in one of your posts, then forgive me for not reading more closely.

Luci - Try not to poas if you can help it but I completely understand about the impatience (I have very little myself patience that is).  I look at it this way:  if the negative's gonna devastate you, then try to wait.  I didn't have any symptoms for a long, long time either so try not to be too analytical (like I'm a fine one to talk - LOL).  Keep me posted and ssbd to both of you - jen  

[LJ307]

I hope it's ok that I jump in?    I noticed that you ladies are close to my age and all doing IVF.  It sounds like you are also all using donor eggs?   I have a couple of questions and was hoping your experience could give me some information.   I'm 42 yrs old.  Never ttc concieve (conceive) before.  Just started.  Had my Clomid Challenge Test with horrible results. cd 3 fsh 16 and cd 10 fsh 25.  I know, I know horrible!   I have an appt. with a fertility specialist Jan 10.

OK. So, my questions for you are:

What/are your fsh levels?  Have you ttc using your own eggs with what results?
And if you don't mind my asking, how much do you pay for your IVF?  Donor eggs?

I'm trying to research and prepare myself for the RE visit because I'm sure he's going to tell me IVF and donor eggs are my only hope.  I'm thinking this is going to end up costing like $100,000.  Of course I can't afford that!

Any info. is greatly appreciated and thank you for tolerating my jumping into your dialogue!

[40smama]

Hi LJ - since I'm up (can't sleep), I'll try to answer some of your questions for ya.  I never got the fsh number when I had it done - just knew that the re was okay with "trying" for one cycle using my own eggs.  I decided to give it a whirl but to no avail.  I just wasn't one of the fortunate ones who beat those odds.  Right before the retrieval, due to poor response of my ovaries to the stimulating hormones, my cycle was cancelled.  I was very sad but relieved in a way because we immediately made up our mind not to try this again and go straight to donor eggs.

I was 43 at that time & after all of my research, I realized that my odds went considerably down after 42.  But you never know, your re may have other news for you other than going to donor eggs.  It's such a hard decision to make to go that route.  I'm so happy that you're seeing a fertility specialist.  They know sooo much more than a regular ob - even those who specialize in infertility.

We have no infertility insurance other than some that did cover some of the meds & ultrasounds so the cancelled cycle cost about $6,000.00.  The donor cycle for us was $18,000 including the donor fees.  That didn't count the ob care that came if one became pregnant.  It is very, very expensive but well worth it.  Our donor was 22 & that significantly increased our odds of getting pg.

Post to me (or others) anytime about any questions that you have.  Let us know how your appt on the 10th goes and much ssbd to you!!!!! - jennifer

[llenda]

Hi everyone, well I took another HPT this AM and BFN.  DH and I are pretty convinced it didn't work again.  We are both very sad.  I am very concerned about the hot flashes and chills.  I am afraid that my body is rejecting these eggs.  Jen, maybe you can give me some insight.  I am worried that if my body isn't letting these eggs implant than they might not even let donor eggs implant.  But then again, I say well maybe donor eggs are so much stronger than my eggs.  What do you think?  Do you know anything about Sarrogates?  I have been trying so hard for so long to get preggo that it is hard for me to beleive that it is ever going to happen.  I am not the most positive person anyway, and every failed cycle takes a little more of the hope away.  I told DH, it is very hard not to go into a deep depression.  

Hi LJ, I just wanted to let you know that I have not tried donor eggs yet.  3 IVF's and my ins. pays for most of it.  I don't know my #'s for FSH and all but I was told that everything looked great.  I don't respond good to the meds and every cycle before retrieval, it showed that I only had like two mature follicles and they wanted to cancel but on retrieval it was always more.  This last time was the best.  5 grade 1 embies (1 is the best at my clinic).  We had 4 transfered and the other one never made it to freeze.  We are pretty sure this is another failed IVF.  My ins. doesn't pay for donor eggs, so we will probably have to take out a loan.  There is also a place on the internet where people donate their unused embies.  So if money is a big problem this may be another route.  Kind of like adoption but not as hard to do and you get to nourish, bond with, and carry the baby.  

[LJ307]

Thank you so much for the information. It is very helpful.  

Illenda, I am sorry about the BFN.   What cd are you on?  Any chance you tested early?  I too have considered surrogancy.  I think if your insurance isn't covering infertility it may be cheaper.  Though I don't know how/what the procedure is for getting a loan for a surrogant.  Hmm...

Do you know the address of the website that has embryos for adoption?  Does it list prices?  Seems so weird, like buying a baby.  (Although I understand why you have to pay.)  

[llenda]

Hi LJ, I don't know what cd I am on but it has been 11 days since my 3 day transfer.  I would love to believe it was too early but I don't really believe that.  I hate I that I tested in a way b/c it is hard for me to continue the meds when I feel it is for nothig but on the other hand, I have to work the day of my beta and I would hate to get that news at work.  I do not know the site for the embies but you
could ask on this site or try to google it.  They said most of these people are couples that had extra left after their IVF was successful.  They know how hard it is financially, mentally, and physically.  They said that they were not selling them but donating them.  All you have to pay is to ship them to your clinic and for your own meds and transfer.  Maybe like $2-3,000.  

[40smama]

llenda - I think you might want to have the lining of your uterus checked to make sure that implantation can take place.  Mature Momma (debra)'s having some procedure done to check some hormone (?) that i can't remember that has to do w/implantation - anyway basically she's having a biopsy of the uterine lining done and I'll check around and see if I can't find that post.  She doesn't have a profile filled out so you can't pm her.

I'm not the most postive person either - I tend to be a worrier and be more negative than I should be.  I would think that donor eggs would be a better deal for you but I'd get that lining checked to even make sure that an embryo can implant before going any further.

As soon as I find that post, I'll pm you w/that info.  I don't know a whole lot about surrogacy.  LJ - we're planning on donating our embryos (not until we decide whether or not to go through an FET) and there's a clinic in Lubbock Texas that's like an adoption agency for donated embryos.  They do like a home study and everything just like you would do for a regular adoption.  There's no fee for this- you just have to pay for an FET cycle.  I'm sure that if there's one in Lubbock that there's gotta be one in Oregon.  Somewhere dh and I have the info on this agency and when I can, I'll go see if I can find it.  

llenda - I'm praying for you.  Maybe LJ's right and it's just too early for hcg to be in your urine so I'll continue to hope for the best for you even if you can't right at this moment.  Take care and ssbd - jen

[40smama]

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/378475 - llenda - check out this post that mature momma wrote about the biopsy being done on the lining of her uterus - let me know what you think - jen  

[llenda]

Hi Jen, thanks for the post.  I will ask my RE next time we consult with him.  It is kind of funny, I always have a long list of questions to ask and as always he really doesn't have any answers.  I told DH that is what makes it so hard.  I don't know if they are even making it to the hatching stage.  I was looking at that site Lucy posted for donor eggs.  That is amazing that you can actually see the donor.  I think my clinic chooses for you and I am not sure if you get to see an adult picture or not.  I still don't know whether to go ahead and do another IVF with my own eggs or not.  DH said this was the best yet and maybe we should try again especially if the ins. will pay for it, but I tell you every BFN makes me more depressed and less hopeful.  It seems like donor eggs are a lot more expensive at my clinic.  For 56,000 you can get this deal where if you don't have a live birth than you get your money back.  I know that is a lot of money but I told DH, paying thousands with no results makes us depressed and in debt.

Well today around 3PM my lower abd. started really cramping, it hurt to stand up straight and walk.  No bleeding.  It was not sharp pains more like heavy pressure and tender.  Usually AF is sharp pains or dull constant pain.  I told DH, I think AF wants to come and these meds are keeping her away.  Thanks so much all of you guys for listening and talking to me.  I really appreciate it.  DH has threatened to block this site from me b/c I am always on it.  I don't really tell anybody about the IVF so it is nice to be able to talk to people.  

[40smama]

Don't let DH block this site!!!  We'll miss hearing from you and knowing what's going on.  On our donor cycle, we never saw a pic of the donor so I have no idea other than physical description (blonde hair, blue eyes, height, weight) of what she looks like or if she even looks like me.  I didn't even ask for a pic;  I just assumed that we weren't allowed to see it although we did get a medical/social history which is probably more important.

I agree every BFN's very depressing & even worse is when m/c's occur.  That's one of the reasons why I went w/donor eggs.  I learned that the rate of m/c is higher w/advanced age (I hate that term :-() & I wanted to increase my chances for a successful pregnancy but I've learned that you gotta follow your own heart in this matter.  

I'm sorry for the cramping.  I'm still holding out hope against hope for you & of course for Luci - jen

[llenda]

Hey Jen, yeh, I took another HPT this morning BFN.  Man, I am so tired of this.  Anyway, DH is wonderful but he has not been TTC as long as me.  He is only 33 and we have only been married a little over a year.  He has never even TTC till now.  He doesn't really think it is a big deal to use donor eggs (thats b/c it is his sperm).  It kind of makes me mad.  Although he did offer to just use donor embies so I wouldn't feel bad, but really I don't want to be selfish.  We looked on that site that Luci gave and it gives a pic of the donor.  DH says he would rather see the donor if we can.  I don't know what to think, you know as a woman, I don't want him picking out the woman, but as a recipient, I would like to see the donor.  Your right health is the most important thing but when they give you the choice to see the donor it is hard to pass up.  DH is very trustworthy don't get me wrong, I have insecurity residue from my ex-husband and I don't want to deny DH of his choices in all this.  Another thing was I called Shady Grove and they gave me a code to check out the donor list (they don't show adult pics either) and for me there were only two and one was positve for a carrier of cystic fibrosis.  The other donors test was pending.  This clinic Lucy went to is so much cheaper than ours and it is only 5 hours away.  Also Luci has already got her BFP.  WOOHOO!!  ok, I do have some questions?  Did you have to go to the clinic every other day to have your uterine lining checked?  What meds did you take?  Did DH have to donate the same day as retrieval like with IVF?  How long where you on bedrest?