Am I too open/happy about the idea of donor eggs?

[usuk]

I have $15k and only one chance at IVF ($20k with PGD). I had 3 MCs in 11 mos and since then one year without even a BFP. I know now that I have MTHFR and minimal clotting, but no one has said that causes MC and since I have been treated for that I have not even conceived anyway. My RE said that it costs about $8k for egg donation and with that I would not need PGD. So for $3k more than PGD I could get a better shot at a baby now, and maybe even leftover eggs for an FET/ sibling down the line. Have I lost my mind because it seems like a better deal. I am okay just with having my DH's baby and I am not so worried about my egg. I am adopted and have no idea what genetics or traits I even bring to the table. Is it normal just to think that donor eggs is a better choice - or is this meant to be the very last resort?

[ChristineL44]

I was wondering if I could ask you about using egg donation.  I have some personal questions and you can contact me threw my email if you want.

thank you

[mysty2001]

YES!!
I did it.  ANd it is WONDERFUL.
Oh to know that you are carrying a baby that would otherwise be killed is such a joy and the thought is glorious!
I have had three successess!  I am so blessed and every time I look at these children I think "someone was willing to toss out these babies just so there should could belong genetically to them, what a shame"
I highly recommend
There is generally no cost except the cost of the transfer so it was relatively inexpensive - under 3thousand.  There are at least 3 women here who have been successful at the cooper center in new jersey!

[tryingfor6years]

I just did a cycle with Donor Egg and I can't be happier. I truly think it is the best thing to do if you want to be pregnant and carry a baby. We decided to move on to DE after having mc because of genetic issue and the PGD showed only 2 of 6 embies to be genetically normal. I"m 39 so it seemed like the right thing to do. My RE said we could probably get preg through IVF but would probably take up to 4 more cycles. Not only did we not have the money for all that but the emotional part would have crushed me. It's still DHs genes and your blood growing the baby. I definitely say go for it!! but it's really something you two need to be ok with. Personally, I think once you have that tiny baby in you arms you won't even think about how it got there. : )  I will let you know in 9 mos.  PLUS - you can freeze the extra embies and then you will have genetic syblings.

Good luck with your decision!!

[mlb1234]

I am not sure every clinic will do embryo adoption but you can definitely look into it.

[usuk]

Did you do this? I am adopted too so I do not really care how we get a family but my DH is thinking with every step we get weirder and weirder.

How does it work? What does it cost?

Thank you :)

[mysty2001]

Please consider embryo adoption
what happens with the EXTRA embroys if you use a donor???
Are you prepared to make more life that you are willing to bring into the world?  One critical question to ask yourself is "how many babies will you leave in a forzen wasteland?"
Good Luck

[Helen72]

Transferring sooner does not improve the quality of your embryos.  I am so sorry about disappointing results.  If you and dh are OK with a donor you should consider that route.

I also had poor quality embryos so I know how you feel.
((HUGS))

[usuk]

I am definitely on to donor eggs now as soon as I have the $$$. I did a round of IVF and the results were as follows:
13 mature eggs retrieved - RE was over the moon
9 fertilized - again he was pleased
7 left on day 4 - still good
1 left on day 6; a grade CC and the worst is D - disaster

I guess I now have my answers. Unless I should have transferred sooner????

[Alexis2358]

I agree with you on the donor eggs.   When I first started this idea of ttc, I swore I wouldn't do anything invasive.   but now at 42 y/o and 2 m/c in the past 7 months.....I'm tossing around the idea in my head too of donor eggs.     I look at it this way.....its my DH's sperm, its my body that creates this baby, and its a little borrowed piece of precious tissue from another woman.    The baby will be made by 3 of us instead of just 2.    I'm okay with that!   Our eggs are made up of so much DNA from generations ago that we don't know where it came from or how many people are involved, so....so what if we use another womans egg, we don't know about all of our DNA either.    Maybe centuries ago we may have even been related :).   Put a positive spin on it....the baby is just made by 3 of us instead of 2 of us.    Good Luck!

[lynda544]

Without a second thought. I so wish I was 5 years younger! I also have 3 grown stepson's so my husband has already had his fair share of children. For me, an egg donor was the perfect solution for increasing my odds of pregnancy quickly. I think because I had already had 2 children, I realized the "how you get pregnant" was a small part of the whole being a parent! Yes, Taylor was/is such a blessing---for my whole family.

[Kricket212]

How special & lucky that you have a wonderful girl.  Congrats!!
Do you think you would do it again?

[mhv]

You think like I do! : )  I was 41 when I started this whole process, and didn't even want to consider using my own eggs!  Unfortunatly, we had a bad experience with our first RE... Very long story... but am getting ready to start with a new RE and a new donor(s).

I think your thinking just like me!  I just want a happy, healthy, baby to hold in my arms.  I will carry it, feel it kick and ultimately... get to go through labor.  You only have 1 shot, and want to make the most of it.  I think your thinking is perfectly normal and I say.... GO FOR IT : )

xoxo,
Melissa

[10_07]

I think it sounds like you have a good plan. You need to do whatever is right for you and there is no shame and being excited at the thought of donor eggs. If you are comfortable with it and it gives you a better shot, then go for it.

I hear ya about the 9 pounds. I have added on a few since starting all these meds. I am thinking that if I do IVF next time then that will give me a month to get back in shape before starting stims. I just need to stay motivated to work out!

[usuk]

I got preg once on a natural cycle and preg twice with clomid. Ever since I graduated to injectibles - nothing. But I have also watched 3 couples that could not conceive in my close circle have babies so I think the mind is involved here somewhat. No more than 4 or 5 full size follies at a time. What I think I will do is see how this cycle goes. I am not going to do PGD if I only have 1 or 2 healthy embies. I'll just chuck them in and save the money from freezing and PGD. In the meantime thanks to SueGre's inspiration I have started working out with a trainer 2 weeks ago and hope to lose the 15 pounds that 9 cycles of injectibles has done for me. XOXOXO

BTW donor eggs/IVF is still cheaper than adoption and that is shameful.

[scienceteacher79]

Sweetie - I say do whatever you think is right! If you want to use donor eggs - DO IT! :) It is YOUR baby regardless of genetics!! Do it!! DO IT!! Do what you guys want to do. I will eventually be leaning that way too if nothing happens in the next year or two. I just want a baby with DH, I don't care about genetics because that will be MY baby with DH. We are all behind you so make the right decision for you and DH and go for it!!! Lots of hugs, love and baby dust!

Jen

[mlb1234]

I think you are being realistic looking at your options and not just thinking about the value but also the end result.  Which option has a higher chance of giving you a baby??  There is a limit to how much money people can spend on this stuff and if you only have one shot then you want to have the best chances possible.  I can't remember exactly what treatments you have had this past year but I guess one thing I would look at is how many eggs you were getting using the injectibles.  If it wasn't very many or unreliable then donor eggs are probably a very reasonable option for you.  If I remember correctly your AMH was low??  Was your FSH high as well??  I think it is great you are so open to it and the fact that you are adopted makes it even better.