BabyforLori

Thanks for your help.   I will be 41 on June 5.  It was suggested to us, but sort of presented as a last resort and along with all the other information we received.  

I'm leaning towards it, now as well you know ... it's harder to get pregnant over 37.  

My FSH was under 10 on day 3, but the next time they did it after the clomid challenge test, it was up to 11.8.   That was back in Aug or Sep 06.  So God only knows what it is now.  

Do you know how many embryos implanted at this point? Did you say that they transferred all 3.  

I am also Catholic and know what the church says about the IVF, but lately my faith is really shaken. I've had 3 for sure m/c and maybe 4 since I started trying to get pregnant again last year.  My last pregnancy was in 1995.  

I think the only thing that would bother me is if I left any frozen ones behind.  I feel like I would have a responsibility towards them.  But in my case I don't think I would have many left over.   I have only one ovary and I think I would get half of what someone with 2 ovaries would get.

Did you get pregnant on your first attempt with IVF and PGD?  

Congratulations and lots of sucess with this one, by the way!

[ZevasMom]

Number 1 - I believe in nagging God... and believe me, I have been nagging him a bunch... for all of us...

Number 2 - I believe God has three answers... Yes... Not right now... I have something better in mind... Sometimes I don't like His answer...

I remember when I was early pregnant and bleeding... My husband rushed me to the ER and we saw the heartbeat... The ER Dr. said to go home and wait it out, see what happens (yeah, it is sooooo easy... errrrr)... I remember driving home and crying... I remember asking my husband why he was so calm... He said... Because he had faith... OOOOOOHHHHHHH... That pissed me off... Like I had no faith (and the truth was, I kinda was loosing it)... I screamed at him, "That's because your not the one bleeding out of your v*gina!"  TMI- sorry

[BabyforLori]

I completely understand all of your fustration.  It is easy to have faith when things are going well. But, next to impossible when they are not.  I am not a scholar of God, nor am I in any position to lead, but I will tell you the lessons I have learned from my priest and the impact they have on me.....(and trust me, bad drivers can make any one lose their tempers).  So, this is what I remind myself of when I feel like my faith is slipping......

The one thing that made an impression on me, came from Easter mass and the disciples.  The disciples walked with Christ.  They witnessed Christ.  They ate, drank and talked with Christ....and, still denied Him.  They were afraid of Him, and questioned WHY He did what He did all while claiming to love Him. We, in the 21st century, have not walked with Christ pyshically, talked with Him personally, or eat, drank or walked with Him.  YET, we are expected to know Him on faith alone.  On faith from which took place over 2000 years ago.  This seems an impossible feat.  But, when Thomas declared we would not believe it was Christ until he saw the wounds and touched the wounds, and Mary Magdeline believed that someone stole Christ from the tomb, as opposed to Him being raised from the dead, Christ appeared to both, and Thomas believed instantly, and Mary Magdeline looked at the tomb in disbelief, turned 360 degrees and then believed.......  These were all people who claimed to LOVE Christ.  But, Christ reminds us, "Blessed are those how believe without seeing."   I want Christ and Father to be proud of their child (that's me).  I want to believe without seeing, for Him.  So, that is what I TRY do (and sometimes I fail miserably) believe everyday and talk to Christ everyday.  I have stumbled, but He forgives.  I have doubted, and He forgives.  I ask myself, can you forgive the ills of the world?, can you remember, that when you pray, you pray that "His will be done", not yours?  Sometimes God's and our agendas are not the same.  I ask myself these questions, and sometimes I can answer them and sometimes I can't.  But the idea is that you talk with God, share your burdens with Him.  He will be there if you want Him there.  This, He promises us!

Good luck and God Bless You.  I don't know your story, however, you seem like such a kind and caring person who seems to have been thru such an ordeal (you would not feel so passionately about these questions if you did not have a lot of love in your heart).  I pray for peace and most of all success as you try to conceive.  I am happy to chat with you anytime.  :)

[YvetteY]

You are so lucky Lori to have beaten the odd with your IVF.  I guess that in itself is also a miracle.  

We'll probably get a big warning for discussing faith and God, but here goes.  

Yes, the miscarriages have everything to do with shaking my faith.  The first one (documented), I went to Mass every Sunday.  Okay...maybe it seemed like I was trying to bribe God, but I wasn't, I was thanking him and praying for this baby.   But the baby only made it to 8 weeks.   I didn't believe I was being punished, but it felt like that.  That was a week before xmas.  

Then this January I get pregnant again, but I don't even make it to the 5 wk past LMP point.   I'm completely shocked and didn't know really what to think.  

Then my mom died this past Mar 12.   It was awful  She was so young and I didn't expect it, but that's another horrible story. I mention this because on Mar 29, I get a BFP. Now I'm convinced it's a miracle and that maybe my mom talked to God on my behalf and explained to Him how badly I wanted a baby.  (I know this may sound crazy, but I thought my mom really had something to do with it - I'm an educated person with college degree in tow, but you know how we're taught to pray to the Saints and they are the "go betweens" us and God.   So that was my logic.

But then 5 or 6 days later, I get AF.  Another chemical pregnancy.  I knew it was doomed from the get go.  My HCG levels were just 6 and two days later 12.  Then I wasn't testing positive on the the sticks at home, so I knew what had happened, another chemical pregnacy.  So right now, I really don't know what to think.   The science of it all makes a lot more sense.  Don't get me wrong, I still believe and everything.  I'm just struggling with the fact that I'm given something and then it's taken away.   I don't think a kind benevolent God would do that to anyone.  So proably too much info, but that's my issue in a nutshell with God.    

So after all that I went back to RE, he's making me take a break from any fertility meds.  Next month we'll do a miniovarian stimulation, but I'm leaning towards the PGD.  Maybe I'll get lucky this month going au'natural.  

Thank you for your input.   I guess I'm just baring my heart and soul.  

[YvetteY]

I just reread your comment.  I have heard that before, but I had forgotten it.   You're right.   Thank you for your insight, it's very helpful right now!

[shesherm]

Yvette your story brought me to tears.  I too have hopes my mom could help me out with TTC.  (she passed away when I was in highschool at the young age of 39)  and now my grandma is sick and has been able to see all my sisters children and I'm no where close.
I am 1 of 4 girls and everyone thought I would get married and have kids and my sisters would NOT.  Well older sis 4 kids (1 DD, 1DS, and twins), younger sis 1 abortion, 1 adoption and a 1yr old DS, my baby sis twinDS.  me divorced (no kids) and now with my "life husband" and can't seem to have a baby :O(  It just seems so cruel.  But I know I have become a BETTER, STRONGER more depressed (LOL) person because of this. WE ALL WILL GET THROUGH THIS I HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT.  Super sticky baby dust ((Sheila))

[BabyforLori]

Hi Yvette.  We have so much in common.  It is good to know there is someone else my age out there.....  

They transferred two blastocysts on day 5, and froze one.  Blastocysts are embryos which have between 50-75 cells, so they are more developed.  If you go with the PGD testing, my dr. said that a 5 day transfer was the only option, and, luckily, all three made it to blastocyst stage.  But, I had 8 going into to PGD, and 5 didn't make it due to the genetic reasons I mentioned prior.  So, I got really really scared that that was not going to be enough.

I did get pregnant the first time with IVF and using PGD.  Thanks be all to God.  I don't know why your faith has been shaken, but if it has anything to do with the miscarriages, I completely understand.  When I had the ectopic, I did not understand why God would do this to me. That pain was terrible.  I had tried to be faithful and do the right things all my life, WHY did this happen?!?!?  Ultimately, I learned to trust God again.  And, what I discovered was that he never lost faith in me, only I in Him.  It is hard to make sense of why......I guess this is a mystery we will find out the day we stand before Him.  Give him another chance....having faith makes an absolute difference.  I don't mean to preach, I just, in my heart, believe that having faith in Him was key in our success.  Talk to Him.... he does listen.   And, I totally get what you mean about the frozen embies.  That is also why I know that God played an vital part.  We have one frozen, the others did not make it.  My husband and I will have the frozen embie transferred, as he does deserve a chance to be born.

I truly want to wish you the best of luck.  I will pray for you.  I have a prayer list, and I have put your name on it.  By the way, have you looked into acupuncture while going through the IVF.  I did that too and it was truly wonderful.  I can tell you more about it if you like.  

[SWEETPEA1975]

Hi

I was just hoping if you could maybe tell me more about accupunture and IVF
I will be trying IVF for the 2nd time and was considering it but I really do not know much about it

[40something]

Hi - I hope you don't mind me butting in - but I couldn't help but want to comment on your comment.  I too have questioned my faith lately.  People keep telling me to pray, trust in God.  Well I have been praying and I do have faith but what happens after two years of this?  I feel so bad - like I'm doubting God or something.  I've prayed and prayed and prayed.  I've tried to be the best person I can - heck, I even stop cussing at other ignorant drivers!!  I just feel like God's not listening.  I hate this - I've never questioned my faith before.  What do you do when people tell you to have faith but nothing happens??? Sorry to vent like this to you - but you seem to be in the right place with God and I'd love your input if you don't mind sharing.  Thanks. :)

[BabyforLori]

I would be happy to tell you everything I know about acunpunture.  I have to log off for a few short hours.  It is 5 pm here, I will be on-line after 7:30.  Look for my post then.  Thanks for asking, you will really love it if you try it.

[BabyforLori]

I totally understand what you are saying, when you have been presented with as much sorrow as you have, it is hard to see where faith factors in.  I have been there as well.  Please know, I offered these words as comfort - not to be critical or a know it all, but because I was asked what worked for me.  I wish I could give you all the answers that you so much deserve!!!  No matter how we come to the table, we all come in love and with support.  No matter what you chose, I do support you in journey through IVF.    If I can be of any support to you, I am here.  Good luck and I pray for you success.

[BabyforLori]

I highly highly recommend acupunture in conjunction with ART. Important note, there are all type of acupunture out there, so, please be sure when looking into different facilities, that the group specializes in fertility acupunture. This is important to do some pressure points or qi should not be interferred with while attempting to achieve pregnancy. I live near Chicago, and currently am working with a group called Pulling Down the Moon. Look them up at www.pullingdownthemoon.com. They may even be able to help in referring someone in your area. Good luck, many prayers to all and much much much stickey baby dust!!!!!