Can't get pregnant - after a year of trying

[Moonflower09]

I need help.  We've been trying to concieve for a year now.  We had one successful pregnancy a year ago, but lost the baby in October.  Since then, nothing.  It is so hard dealing with pregnant family members.  Since our loss, two girls in our family have gotten pregnant, one just giving birth August 2nd, and the other is due October 11.  Of course, BOTH their due dates correspond with the date of our conception for the first, and the date of our loss for the second.  Life for me certaintaly has it's way of laughing at me in my face.  I was once very close to the first girl, but her actions through her pregnancy and during my mc have been so hurtful.  She blew my mc off like it was "no big deal", and has been very insensitive during her pregnancy.  She made comments to me that I was resentful of her becuase she was pregnant and I wasn't.  I didn't want to go to thier duel baby showers and she acted like that was completely unacceptable.  I even tried to explain to her that it was hard for me and she just went off to the other girl about me and talked very horriably about me behind my back.  She has no idea as to the pain I'm going through and how hard this has been for me.  I've need support and all I've gotten is the cold sholder and bad mouthed.  

Now the baby is here with the other due shortly after.  It's so hard to go to family events when they are there.  We have one coming up tomorrow.  They will be bringing the new baby for the first time and everyone is SO excited.  I'm really dreading this and thinking of not going.  I can't bear it anymore.  We CAN'T get pregnant.  We have activiely been trying again since December and nothing.  I've had very wierd periods over the last 9 months.  Worse than they ever were before.  My cycles are so out of whack.  I was late by three days this last time and just knew we finally hit it, but nope.  It came on anyway, only lasted for 1 full day, stopped, then started back again and was full of thick, dark clots.  I have no idea what's going on with my body.

We got pregnant the first time so easy.  Only tried for one month, then the next - pregnant.  Then I lost it, and now 9 months, nothing.  I'll be 40 soon and it's so hard to accept that it may (and probably) will never happen now.  Being around these girls, watching them go through thier perfectly healthy pregnancies, and having thier beautiful babies is too much to bear.  I know I should be happy for them, and I truly am, but they are a consitant reminder of my pain.  Especially after the first girl said I was being resentful of her.  It's such a hard situation.  We never announced we were pregant, mainly because the weekend we were going to at a family event, she kept telling me and my husband we really should wait becuase of the risk of mc.  I was 8 weeks along and my husband was so excited and ready to tell everyone.  She kept telling him and me that that was a really bad idea, we should wait until after 12 weeks....  so we didn't...  I wish now we would have because having our families support would have been helpful, and of COURSE when she got pregnant they announced it at 8 weeks on Christmas.  

This has made me so depressed.  Any advice?

[kellibubba]

I understand how u feel completly. ive had two m/cs when alot of friends and family have been pregnent.
Right now at the moment my best friend is 30 weeks and my sister is as far along as i would have been as the due dates were the same. We went into the ultrasound on the same day together and she went firest and saw they heartbeat while mine didnt show any even though there was a baby there measuring 11 weeks.
Next month will be my daughters 2nd birthday so everyone is excitid to see how my sister is progressing and seem to forget i was pregnant at the same time.
She still expects me to go baby shopping and maternity shopping with her and doesnt understand how hurtful it is to see people ogeling over here pregnant belly while i just stand there and feel my empty one..
its as if they all expect me to live on and forget but its just TOO HARD.

i give you all the strength someone would give me to get through these hard times.
if you stopped wishing it would happen and just have fun whilst having sex you have a greater chance of concieving...
good luck hun.. i feel for you.

[Gina04]

Did your doctor say anything about why you miscarried?  Being that you are going to be 40 soon, it is very possible that you are perimenopausal and that this is the reason your periods are so irregular.  With irregular periods, it is hard to know when you are ovulating.  You should probably be having sex about every 48 hours.  This way you are giving your husband enough time to have healthy sperm available and should have these healthy sperm in you whenever your body decides to ovulate.  I authored an ebook on parenting and have a chapter that deals with trying to conceive and things you can do to increase your chances.  If you would like a free copy of the ebook, no strings attached, simply send me a message letting me know what email address to send it to and I will get it sent off to you.