I will be 42 in 18 days, I just went through 1 IVF cycle, had 13 eggs collected, 12 were used, 7 fertilized and only 1 was able to be implanted after a 5 day. I got a negative result. After 20k on that run, I can't do that again. I have been reviewing onling the options.
Donor eggs seem to be quite expensive. But my husband would be a part of this.
Donor embryos sound like it is a full adoption and it seems like it takes awhile to complete. I know there are many that have completed their families and donate their embryos, so it that is the case, does it really have to be a full adoption, or can you just find a clinic that has embryos, scan for what type of person would fit best and buy them? Time is of the essence for me with my age. I live in the Ann Arbor MI area, does anyone know of an Embryo donar that doesn't have the criteria of being married 3 years, .....plus full adoption and screening.....
No, you do not have to do an adoption. You can do donor embryos which is a fraction for the cost. I am actually in that process right now. A lot of clinics have a donor embryo program. Many just cost the price of transfer. We have been fortunate to have someone on this site donate their embryos to us, the legal cost has been about 1500 total. I will help in any way I can! Just let me know if I can :)
WOW, great for you! What stage are you in with them?
Everything I keep reading talks about adoption. I meet with my IVF clinic tomorrow to see what options they offer. If they have an embryo program......I just can't afford much after the first round, so I am not left many options. But I am totally willing to utilize an embryo of someone elses. BUT I would like to see the full background and I would also want to have the PGD done as well as gender selection. Not sure if my office will have embryos that have already had the tests done and a girl, but that is what I am looking for.
Any ideas, advice......excited to hear where you stand on yours.
We are in the homestretch. Donor family is signing paperwork today to turn over custody. Then we just have to get the embryos moved from Texas to Ohio.
We are going to work with a clinic close to home. We started paperwork in March. I am hoping to do a transfer the end of June. God willing.
Yeah, the donor and I have actually became pretty close. I don't know how that will work in the future, but I'm sure we'll figure out as we go.
They should have all of the genetic testing and history, for the donor embryos....I don't know about the gender selection though... that might be a little tricky.
I don't care what I have, as long as I have something! : )
I am getting ready to meet with my clinic to see what they can offer me. I am still so upset about the 20k I spent to get nothing. I don't think had I really knew the odds, that I would have done the first round of IVF. I thought it was most likely bullet proof that I would be pregnant.
I hope they have an embryo program and that would be an option. It takes a long time eh? I want something sooner than that. I was hoping to stay in cycle, but that doesn't look like an option.
Can an embryo donor just sign off to not have to go through all of the hassle of adoption? I can't believe you started paperwork in March and won't have the transfer until end of June.
How many are you transferring? How many actually are you getting? Any that will be frozen for possible future use? That is what I am confused about. Does the donor give up what they have or just a couple? I guess I would implant 3 next time hoping to get 1 to take. I certainly wouldn't want triplets though.
Will let you know how the doc goes today. Nervous of my options......
Clinics usually do anonomys donor embryos. You find out non identifying info on the "parents". the parents give up their "rights" when they put the embryos up for donation.
Since our donor contacted us, we "knew" her and had to go through lawyers. It only cost us 1500 to do the paperwork. It just says the family gives up any rights to the embryos and that they are my husbands and mine.
We didn't have to do a home study or anything like that, and we don't have to pay the huge adoption fees.
We are actually getting 10 high quality embryos
The clinic rates from 5AA-1AB,
and we are getting 4- 5AB embryos
, 4- 3AA embryos and
2 3AB embryos. .
We will transfer 2. I hope for twins : )
They are already frozen, they were frozen after her fresh cycle. She has twins.
Yeah, the one thing I have learned during this is.... hurry up and wait... it absolutely stinks! We have no control over the timeline unfortunately.
Please let me know what your clinic says ok???? If they do not have a donor program ask them if they know a clinic that does.
I would check around for other clinics- that seems expensive for an ivf cycle also- it also seems odd he does not want you to do donated embyos. I would at least go interview other clinics. Did they give you any reason for what happened with your cycle- is everything okay with you, was it just egg quality? I know these things happen- but it just seems like you clinic should work to get a plan you feel good about. I have also heard of clinics offering discounts on other cycles. I am so sorry. There is also a website that you can check to see success rates- I will email it to you. I am doing a donor cycle for less than your ivf cycle but I am in central florida- well actually it might have been about the same but I required surgery. Also it I only got 8 eggs, 4 fertilized, 2 implanted and 1 frozen. I did not expect 30 but I also did not expect 3. BUT they told me my blasts were very strong. My beta is on Friday. SSBD and good luck to you!
I don't know if I agree with your doc. It seems like you could afford to do several rounds of donor embryos compared to 1 IVF cycle with him. I mean if the FET is at $2,000 give or take, you could do 10 rounds!! I can't imagine they would all be bad quality! I mean, the embryos we adopted are great quality!!
I think if I were you, I would call other clinics.
What state do you live in?? I know of several places that do donor embryos... maybe 1 is close.
Also, there are clinics that do donor egg programs where you pay X amount of $$, for so many fresh/frozen tries, and you can get 100% refund if you do not take a baby home.
Ok tell me what you think of this. I told the clinic that if they could do everything for 15k and then I still owe $4500 from my last and only IVF cycle, that I would consider it.
So the Doc came back with this:
Sharing a egg donor
Includes PGD (gender selection for a girl) and Aneuploidy which checks all 24 chromosomes for autism/downs.....
Tesa which extracts my husbands semen
basically everything is covered from start to finish for $15,000 then I have to pay off the $4500 before I can pick out who I would like to have. There are 2 ladies ready to go that have been selected, but they are awaiting another recipient to pick then, so I could get going fairly soon if I pick them.
I have very dark hair, one lady has blond and the other light brown hair. I have dark brown eyes, the others have hazel and blue......not sure if any of that matters or if I should pick one of them to get a move on. One is 30, has 2 kids but never was a donor before the other lady is 32, has 2 kids and she has donated before. I am thinking someone in their 20's would be MUCH better, I probably should rush tooooo much. But they said it could take months before a donor has 2 parties ready to go.
I have 3 boys, 9, 10 and 12. I desperately want a girl. My husband has had 2 vesectomies and he has 4 boys from a previous marriage. He knows how bad I want a girl and I just don't feel complete without her. My first IVF cycle, they receivd 13 eggs, 12 were good, 7 fertilized and ONLY 1 of them was transferred that was a girl and it wasn't the best quality and that is why Doc said it didn't implant. He said the quality just wasn't good enough. AGE!!!!!! I will be 42 in 2 weeks so I believe time is of the Essence.
What do you think of that cost? better? still search? the expensive part is the PGD I believe, for gender selection and the chromosome check.....and I live in Ann Arbor MI.
Go with what your heart is telling you. I think it is odd you went thinking everything was fine with your cycle- and then after the fact, your RE has a different story! I am also surprised they only transferred one- especially with your age and the age of your eggs. You had a lot of eggs for a woman any age!
I will tell you we had picked a donor and she was 29. When she was younger she had donated and got 32 eggs- with us her body did not respond to meds and our cycle was canceled. I am not trying to scare you- but just know I think younger- is better. Do you know much about the family health history? That ended up becoming important to us, but I did not think about it going in. Looks was not the top priority. I am not hispanic- but have very dark hair and eyes- and my dh is very fair. We ended up going with a hispanic donor because we liked her the best. If you are not excited about the donor- ask them to keep you posted when they get new ones in.
it does not hurt to look at other programs- just so you know. Best wishes!
I kind of have to say I agree with Globetrot. My donor was 31, and they didn't work too well. I think between 24-27 is a great age. I don't think I would go much older again. The age of the woman of our embryos is 27. I think the biggest thing most of us on here have learned, is that rushing doesn't always pay off. Go into this with the best chance possible for a positive outcome. If that means waiting for 3 more months, so be it. You do not want to have another failed cycle, and be sitting here again.
But, that's just our opinions. But, we have been through the failure....
the cost doesn't sound too bad.
Here is some info I found on a clinic in Michigan, don't know if it's close to you but....
"I just got off the phone with Samantha at IVF Michigan, and I am so excited!
I was getting kind of wonky pricing before. I guess the shared-risk plan is really new, so they decided to revise the program.
Now it is:
$18,075 for two cycles
PGD and monitoring is included in the first cycle, but not in the second.
If you do not fall pregnant in the first cycle, it is $1600 for monitoring during the second and $1675 for 5 probe PGD.
All FETs are included.
If you do not fall pregnant after 2 cycles, $12,800 is refunded.
The only downside for me is that pregnancy is considered through 8 weeks only- I wish it were through 20 weeks or live birth.
Once your physician has recommended donor embryos as an option for you to conceive, you will need to get on the donor embryo waiting list. The amount of time a recipient waits for embryos varies, depending on many factors. To get on the list, contact our billing coordinator for assistance in paying your deposit.
Anyone donating or receiving embryos is required to meet with our infertility counselor. If you are married, your spouse must also attend this mandatory, no charge appointment. Our counselor will talk with you about your decision to use donor embryos to conceive. You may choose to meet with our counselor before paying your deposit, if you are unsure of your decision or simply desire more information. While being treated in our office, an annual counseling appointment is required to proceed with procedures related to receiving donated embryos.
Potential embryo donors complete a history form documenting their physical, social, and medical information. We also request a copy of their medical records from their physician(s). This information is reviewed to confirm the couple is eligible to donate based on Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and our own guidelines. After these steps are completed, and if the donors remain eligible and interested in donating their embryos, the embryos are presented to a recipient on the waiting list. We take into consideration the location of the donors and recipients to ensure they do not live within 30 miles of each other. Once a preliminary match is made, the donors must meet with our counselor, donor coordinator, and physician, to complete additional FDA requirements, including a questionnaire, testing, and physical examination.
Embryo donors and recipients remain anonymous. The donors have no knowledge of who accepts the embryos. If they desire to know the results of their donation, they are asked to call a year or two after the donation for information. The recipients remain anonymous, and birth dates, sex of the child or children, and other identifying information is not provided. They are only told whether or not there was a live birth.
The donor coordinator nurse will call you once there is a set of embryos to present and will provide you with general information, including the number and quality of the embryos. If you are interested in the embryos, you will receive anonymous donor history information to review on both the female and male partner.
Your deposit into our program guarantees either a live birth or a set of at least 6 cryopreserved embryos. Thaw and quality of embryos is not guaranteed. If you decline a set of embryos presented to you, you will not lose your place on the waiting list. If you accept a set of less than 6 embryos, you remain where you are on the waiting list. If the accepted set of embryos results in a live birth, your match is complete (unless you have remaining embryos stored). If the accepted set of embryos doesn’t result in a live birth, you are eligible for additional embryo sets, until you reach a total of 6 embryos or more.
You may continue in our program if you desire additional embryo sets beyond those which your deposit guarantees, but a new deposit would be required to proceed. Note also that your initial deposit fee covers your first donor embryo transfer. A smaller deposit is required for each additional embryo transfer. We recommend you speak with our billing department for questions related to program fees.
Whether or not you achieve a pregnancy with donor embryos, if there are remaining embryos left in the set you selected, those embryos will be reserved for you to attempt future pregnancy as long as you continue to pay the quarterly storage fees. If you do not want to reserve the remaining embryos, you will need to sign a release and they will be offered to another couple on the waiting list.
If you are having regular menstrual cycles, the medication protocol for donor embryo transfer is typically a low dose of injectable fertility medications, beginning on cycle day 5-10. We do 2-3 ultrasounds around this time to verify you have grown a follicle (egg) and your endometrial lining is prepared for the embryo transfer. You then administer an HCG injection to trigger ovulation. Depending on what day the embryos were cryopreserved (frozen), the embryo transfer will be 3 - 8 days after the HCG injection. You will also to take two oral medications for four days: an antibiotic to prevent uterine infection and an anti-inflammatory.
If you are not having regular menstrual cycles, another medication protocol may be used to prepare for the embryo transfer. This protocol involves taking estrogen, progesterone, and possibly injectable Lupron.
With both plans, progesterone and estrogen supplementation continues after the HCG injection and continues for several weeks unless your pregnancy test is negative. These medications are prescribed to maintain the uterine lining and to help support a pregnancy. The physician will determine which protocol is best for your individual case.
Many patients ask about donor embryo legal issues. We do not require that you seek legal counsel, however, it is recommended. There are currently no laws relating to donor embryo transfer at this time and we cannot predict what will occur in the future. Legal counsel may relieve any concerns you have in this matter. In Michigan, current laws state that the female delivering a baby is the legal mother and her husband is the legal father.
If you have any questions regarding this information, please call our Donor Coordinator at (616) 988-2229, extension 131.
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I am thinking age 30 or 32 just may be too old for a donor. I mean if we are going to pay that much, age 22-26 may be a better choice and a little time to wait so we get as many as possible. I mean, if I am sharing with another lady, and she is paying the same 15-22k, we each need about 10 GREAT eggs/embryos. If I don't have a lot, my chances of females fertilizing will be slim. If I have 10 eggs to work with, 7 fertilize, 2 girls, gives me nothing to freeze. But no one knows the odds, just that we are sharing, so everything is cut in half.
One couple came in and didn't want to share, gave them 50k on the spot. She was 46 and he was 64. Not sure about that.
Globetrot, you picked hispanic, was that after the one was cancelled? Are you currently pregnant or have the child already? Just curious, you picked Hispanic and wondered how it turned out? I am having a hard time figuring out how to pick. I guess I won't so much worry about the hair color, eyes....and dig in to the health history. My husband will use his sperm.
Would like to hear more success stories on egg donors and how they picked.
MHV knows her stuff. I will just add what I know...in case it helps.
Shady Grove in MD will do a 1:3 share for about $17k. It just takes longer for all 3 ladies to get on the same cycle. You probably will only get 4 embryos tops. You can pay more than $17k for insurance and if it does not work, you get the money back.
Two RE's near me quoted $25-$30k for a 1:1 share. But one of them does research studies which allow for a significant savings - about $10k. So thats not much more than Shady Grove and you are not sharing eggs or coordinating cycles with anyone else.
I would look around for places doing donor egg/donor embryo research - it can save you money.
I know it is expensive but odds are 75% pregnancy/50% twins, especially if you know the egg quality is the problem and not another factor.
I used midwest ivf known also as IVF Michigan. The numbers is what I paid about for my first cycle, but it was using my eggs, PGD, aspiration for my husband... BUT only ONE cycle.
Now I got them down to 15k for shared donor eggs. I may go in tomorrow and look at the list. I agree, if we are going through all of this, why wouldn't we choose the youngest possible. Hoping there are many others that are looking to share and I find the right one and someone behind me finds the same one to now have wait months.
MHV, thanks sooooo much for all of your effort on info. That is so nice. All of you! So glad I found this site. I did call fertility of Mi, but they didn't do PGD, so far, IVR Mi is the only one I found that could do gender selection.
BUT if I found a donor, or a clinic that is just a seller of eggs....then my clinic would do everything. So that is now the question, could I save off the 15k, or do I use the clinic that did the screening on all of these donors? My RE said to make sure I speak with him regarding the ladies I have chosen.
Thanks so much again all, my husband is sitting here and cannot believe all of the info women help others out with. Super nice.
We are all here for support and friendship. Many of us don't talk to our friends or family much about this, and we turn to each other.... alot! :) So many of us have been through so much, we feel we are burdening our friends and family... this is our safe haven. A place you can talk fertility 100% of the time, and noone gets sick of hearing it! haha!
My first donor was known, she is a close friend. If you talk about it a little, you will be suprised who will volunteer. I just told her we were thinking about it, and she spoke right up. Even though it didn't end up working in the end, I am forever grateful to her for even going through everything she did for my husband and me. There are some wonderful people out there!
MHV, I agree, many don't want to hear it. No one knows what we are doing except my mother, my DH and I and you ladies on here.
It is a private matter and when it happens, I don't even feel I need to explain myself to anyone. It's my life, my body, my children.....so anyone who wants to be nosy instead of supportive can go away.
We picked our donor today. She is 25, never had kids, blonde hair, blue eyes, contrary to my almost black hair and brown eyes, but I don't that should be the decisioning factor. her health history is pretty good. She is in a cycle right now, so the soonest I would be able to get things rolling is Aug/Sept. But that's ok, can't rush it and I want to make sure we have the right donor. My RE picked this one out of the 4 we chose, so I will go with his expertise. I pray it works, I am using all of our resources with nothing on reserve.
I just hope there will be enough eggs to share, that there will be enough fertilized to give me a baby girl and then some to freeze. Is that a lot to ask for?
Finally excited again, just not good at waiting, so it will be a long summer, but that is not something I will complain about, summer is never long enough.
I have four fertilized embryos. I cannot carry them and would be willing to give them to someone that would have an open adoption. My daughter would be devastated if she could not have a relationship with any siblings that might occur of this transfer. She is a beautiful, gifted 9 year old
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