Feeling low

[sharonengland]

I'm 41 and just had a failed first attempt at ivf with icsi.  I had 6 very healthy eggs collected and when told all had fertilised, we were over the moon.  I was really sore after the egg collection as my left ovary was very high and they had to "bash" me about a bit to get to it.  On the day of transfer I was still sore and was worried this may affect the success rate.  2 x 8 cell embryo's were shown to us on the screen and before our eyes they multiplied again, we were amazed and very emotional.  I was told there was no need to rest and to just go home and wait.  The longest 2 weeks of our lives!!  I felt as though things were going great, even my breasts were achey, which I thought to be a good sign! On the 8th day I fell right on my stomach and was in shock and so upset worrying that I might have blown it.  2 days later I started to "spot" and I felt like my world had caved in.  This was all my fault! Over the next few days, there was on and off "spotting" nothing to be worried about the nurses told me, probably the embryo's bedding in!  On the 14th day I took the test and it was immediately negative.  We were emotional wrecks.  How could it all have been so perfect to end up a negative result?  Obviously, I'm blaming myself for the fall and beating myself up about it.  My husband is really supportive but both of us feel like we're grieving, I tried to prepare myself as best I could for it not to work, telling myself before we even started that "the first one will be a trial run" but there's nothing that can prepare you for the utter devastation that you feel.  I'm so low and teary all the time, it's constantly on my mind.  As soon as anyone asks I burst into tears.  I have been offered counselling at the fertility clinic and I think I will go.  I've got a follow up appt to discuss the next step on 12th May ( we have 3 embryo's frozen), my dilemma is...do I ask for 2 to be transferred again or do I take 3 more attempts?  Does anyone know how successful frozen embryo's are, I've not seen any results for this?  I'm so emotionally drained and tired by the whole loss and am struggling to keep positive about the next time.  Any feedback would be much appreciated, reading all the other posts, it does help to know you're not alone in this. Thanks for listening x

[babyhope40527]

dear sharon

as far as i know frozen embryos are as good as fresh ones and success rate is good too; i wish you all the best this time; please cheer up. things will fall inplace. god will answer our prayers; you would hold your sweet little baby soon; all we need is patience; i know this is all easy to say; i am going through my first ivf cycle this month; and fingers crossed; it is all destiny and god's wish; things wont be in our control; it feels painful; helpless; desperate; lonely; however; we got to stay positive to get better results; so we got to motivate ourselves within.

you willbe happy soon. please bring back the beautiful smile.

[sharonengland]

Thanks all for your comments and support!  Each day has been getting easier, although it's constantly on my mind every hour of the day! I've got my appt with the consultant next Thursday, to find out when and what the next step will be!  in the meantime, a friend of mine found an article in the paper about some women that have resorted to a method of "mild or natural cycle ivf treatment" because their FSH was too high. It basically said that women with high FSH or low egg reserves, have had a significant success rate.  As long as a woman is menstruating it can be done.  The best thing is, there's no drugs and so the costs are half the price of conventional IVF AND you don't have to wait for a few months after a failed cycle as you can start the next one on your next period!  It entails egg collection and ivf with icsi and the reason it is not recommended by mainstream fertility centres, is because it's success rate percentages are not high enough for them to climb up the league tables of the (HFEA) Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authorities.  The study also mentions that this method classed as "low dose ivf" had double the success rate of embryo implantation in the womb lining compared to standard ivf.  It states that in older women with high levels of FSH, the success rate is equal to or greater than standard ivf because it favours egg quality and implantation of the embryo of a non drug induced egg. I read the whole article and it really lifted my spirits to think that if my last 3 embryos fail, there's another fallback and it will cost half the price but more importantly, reduce the long wait in between each failed cycle, you can try every month!  The only centre in the UK that offers this, is a company called Create Health in London. I guess for you in America you'd have a lot more options available to you?  For those who are interested take a look at their website for reviews www.createhealth.org  For anyone who has been told they'll never have a baby or chances are low, you only need that 1% to have some hope!  I'll keep you posted on my coming months and if indeed my next cycles fail, I'll certainly be going down this route to investigate more!  Good luck everyone! x

[Kricket212]

This is a HARD process that nobody will understand until one goes through it.  I am 39 I did 4 Yes (four) IVF"s last year 2010.  I produced great looking 8 cell embryos every time & have had no luck.  I had 2 miscarriages & 2 BFN's.  
There are many of us in your shoes.  Don't give up.  FIGHT THE FIGHT!!!
I would transfer all 3 embryos.
I am now pregnant with TWINS but beecause I used donor eggs.  I am not sure if anything was wrong with mine, but they were not implanting so it was time to move on.  I surely wish you success.  Best Wishes!!!

[Relkarmom]

sharonenglad.  I forgot to mentioned that I did acupunture with my 2nd IVF cycle.  I didn't do it with the 1st or the 3rd.  I restart acupunture tomorrow in prep of my 4th cycle.  Research it and see if it is for you, it definately will not hurt.  SSBD to you and DH.

[babywanted556]

Sorry for the negative.  Many people get more sucess on the second cycle since the body might not get use to the medicine on the first cycle.  Same here, I failed at the first one but get the positive on the other cycles.  However, we always transfer 5-8 embryos depend on how many we have on hand due to our age (39-40), still we only result to singleton.  If you buy the 2 or 3 cycle package, I would do the fresh cycle again and save the frozen ones for the future use since the FET is cheaper than fresh one.  
Bedrest for first 2 days, then light activity after that.  Don't go up/down stair more than one/day.  Drink a lot of water/soup, keep your feet warm with socks, listen to relaxation music that makes your mind away of stress and easier to go to sleep.  I sleep all day that make 2 ww go by faster.  Eat pineable for a few day (about 4 days) after egg retrieve but not more than 3 days after egg transfer.
Good luck

[Relkarmom]

You know this is a usual blow that all of us experience when going thru this situation.  Our first IVF failed.  However, my doctor now had some information that can be used towards adjusting our medication for our second cycle which ended up in a BFP with 5 embryos implanted - it ended up in a single pregnancy.  After getting over the devasation move on and keep going, please do not stop and look forward to your next cycle.  I just had a 3rd failed IVF on Tuesday, met with my RE yesterday and looking forward to 4th cycle.  Yesterday, we talked in his office for about 30 minutes and he told me where and how he wants to adjust my medication to produce more follicles.  I too, thought I had a successful 3rd cycle after having 2 nine cell embryos and 1 five cell embryo implanted.  Another thing, I kept this between DH, co-worker (cause she hears the calls with RE), supervisor (due to time taking off work), and myself.  It is more difficult when you tell people and they will ask you what happened.  Notify them after you receive your BFP - which you will on your next cycle.  Have them implant all 3 embryos.  So cry and move on as your body needs to be calm and fully prepared for what's to come. I promise you will be okay when you start the next cycle.  Please keep us infomred and I am throwing a ton of baby dust your way.

[mhv]

Sorry to hear about your bfn.  Believe me, so many of us on here know how your feeling, and what your going through.  Keep your head up, ok?
Many FET's are successful!
Now, in my opinion, if I were you, I would transfer all 3 of your snow babies the next time.  Give yourself the best chance possible.

I hope you are able to move foward with your FET very soon, and that it bring the BFP you want!  : )