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How to deal with infertility issues...
Alright so I posted something on here a while ago, I was pretty sure I was going to get pregnant this month because I thought I had all the "pregnancy symptoms" but I ended up getting my period. Since I was on vacation for a week in a half I had to miss out on this cycle of fertility medications and now have to wait until January to start.
I have just been feeling very depressed lately because I just found out my husband's little brother and his girlfriend of 2 months are having a baby! It bothers me so bad I cry all the time. I think it's just the fact that she has a baby from a previous relationship and this will be the first grandchild on my husband's side...I just get so frustrated because we have been trying for almost 1yr now and his little brother goes off and gets this 20yr old girl pregnant who already has a kid and who is on welfare. I'm sorry to sound selfish but why is it that the people who can't take care of a kid are the ones who have them while people who are capable and ready to take care of a child have a hard time conceiving?
I am finally taking Follistim shots, after being on Clomid for almost 1yr. I just had my first IUI earlier this month, no good. Waiting to start my period next month so I can start up again. How do you know when enough is enough? I mean I will do anything and everything to have a baby but it is very exhausting!
If there are any women out there who can just share some advice or uplifting stories on how you deal with infertility issues, I would really appreciate it.
Thanks in advance!
Me-24-PCOS
DH-29
Reached limit on Clomid
1st round of Follistim shots Nov. 18 (1 week)
Dec. 4- 1st IUI
Got period Dec. 18th
I have just been feeling very depressed lately because I just found out my husband's little brother and his girlfriend of 2 months are having a baby! It bothers me so bad I cry all the time. I think it's just the fact that she has a baby from a previous relationship and this will be the first grandchild on my husband's side...I just get so frustrated because we have been trying for almost 1yr now and his little brother goes off and gets this 20yr old girl pregnant who already has a kid and who is on welfare. I'm sorry to sound selfish but why is it that the people who can't take care of a kid are the ones who have them while people who are capable and ready to take care of a child have a hard time conceiving?
I am finally taking Follistim shots, after being on Clomid for almost 1yr. I just had my first IUI earlier this month, no good. Waiting to start my period next month so I can start up again. How do you know when enough is enough? I mean I will do anything and everything to have a baby but it is very exhausting!
If there are any women out there who can just share some advice or uplifting stories on how you deal with infertility issues, I would really appreciate it.
Thanks in advance!
Me-24-PCOS
DH-29
Reached limit on Clomid
1st round of Follistim shots Nov. 18 (1 week)
Dec. 4- 1st IUI
Got period Dec. 18th
I know the feeling...It's just weird because you would think with everything that I am going through, I would be totally turned off to watching that sort of thing on T.V. but I'm not...I don't know but a part of me feels like it gives me hope, to see a story of women who are going through fertility treatments to finally end up getting pregnant and delivering a healthy baby. My husband thinks that I shouldn't watch "A Baby Story" and all those other pregnant related shows because he doesn't want me getting all depressed or having false hope. I do admit there are periods of time where I just feel like crying every time I see a baby or a little child...just because I wish it were me.
My brother-in-law (who got a 20yr old pregnant after only 2months of being together) called my husband to tell him he heard the baby's heart beat yesterday...I tried to be excited and happy for him but really, I'm not. I feel like I have to put on this whole fake fascade just so I don't start to break down and cry...again. I try to do it for my husband, I don't want him to get upset because I don't want to see his brother and his brother's girlfriend but I know eventually I will...it will be hard for me to see her with the baby she most likely won't take care of, in her arms.
My brother-in-law (who got a 20yr old pregnant after only 2months of being together) called my husband to tell him he heard the baby's heart beat yesterday...I tried to be excited and happy for him but really, I'm not. I feel like I have to put on this whole fake fascade just so I don't start to break down and cry...again. I try to do it for my husband, I don't want him to get upset because I don't want to see his brother and his brother's girlfriend but I know eventually I will...it will be hard for me to see her with the baby she most likely won't take care of, in her arms.
In the beginning of our marriage, I used to watch a baby story on TLC and dream about how our episode would be like. That was before I discovered out fertility issues. After that I went through a period of time when I couldn't watch anything that had to do with pregnancy and babies because it would make me sad. I had even stopped going to baby showers and kids birthdays, although I used to enjoy them alot. I had a friend of mine that stopped talking to me because I didn't go to her kid's christening. I was just too depressed to go and I didn't want to tell her about our issue. But people just don't understand when you are going through something, they think it's about them when it's not.
BTW it is weird that I love to watch a baby story on TLC? Should I be watching other women having babies wishing it was me? Just thought I'd throw that out there...I just like to see how other women handle their pregnancies just so I know what to expect if and when it happens to me...
Thank you all so much for your inspirational and uplifting stories. This forum really is my saving grace, I know I am not alone in this fight and my heart goes out to all the women who are going through the same thing. It pains me to see my brother in-law's girlfriend but she is carrying life and even though I wish it were me that was pregnant and it will be some day.
I am learning to be more patient because frankly, I have no choice. I have to accept that it may not happen when I want too but some day it will and when it does, I truly will be the most happiest woman on earth!
Thank you all again for making me not give up on it and on myself.
Lots and lots of baby dust to you all!!
I am learning to be more patient because frankly, I have no choice. I have to accept that it may not happen when I want too but some day it will and when it does, I truly will be the most happiest woman on earth!
Thank you all again for making me not give up on it and on myself.
Lots and lots of baby dust to you all!!
Wow thats crazy! At a courthouse even! Too bad an official didn't see that!!! Unfortunately, there are a lot of kids stuck in bad situations like that :/
I have a friend, too, that came over to his sisters house, and she was high on who-knows-what bad stuff, and was in the middle of BD and her daughter was crying in a highchair, filthy from head to toe. He grabbed the baby and refuses to give her back, and is now in a custody battle for her. The bad mother had another baby a couple of years later, as far as I know she still has the baby, I haven't seen my friend in quite awhile so not sure.
He is a wonderful parent to the baby, she calls him Daddy. So for all the awful parents out there, there are really great parents too.
I have a friend, too, that came over to his sisters house, and she was high on who-knows-what bad stuff, and was in the middle of BD and her daughter was crying in a highchair, filthy from head to toe. He grabbed the baby and refuses to give her back, and is now in a custody battle for her. The bad mother had another baby a couple of years later, as far as I know she still has the baby, I haven't seen my friend in quite awhile so not sure.
He is a wonderful parent to the baby, she calls him Daddy. So for all the awful parents out there, there are really great parents too.
I can relate to this. I am stil ttc and haven't had any success yet. Just today, I was at the courthouse and I saw this woman with this little girl. She actually threw a water bottle at the girl's head. I couldn't believe I saw this with my own eyes out in public. That was crazy. I have a little cousin that's 20 years old and has 2 daughters by his ex girlfriend who is an unfit mother. He has custody of the girls because she doesn't care about them. She's with another guy and rumor has it that she's pregnant with his baby. Isn't that something? Here I am wanting a baby and having trouble conceiving. Like you said, there's people having kids that don't deserve them and there's nothing we can do about it.
I know how frustrated you feel. I've been trying for a long time as well, and it is really frustrating to see people just pop babies out so easily. After trying for a long time, I had a laprascopy surgery because I'm in a lot of pain all the time, get sick a lot, and have horrible AF. Well the good news was I did have scarring but there wasn't enough to prevent pregnancy. I did get pregnant the cycle after the operation, but lost the baby at 12 weeks. I haven't been able to get pregnant since. Next cycle I'm going back to the specialist if I don't get pregnant this month, too see if theres a different route we can take.
My brother-in-laws ex-girlfriend (whom used to be a friend when I was in public school) had a baby when she was 14, would get drunk and have the baby out until four in the morning all the time! I saw her do it with my own eyes. She would pawn the baby off on her friends when he started to cry. Eventually the father of the child found out and adopted him permanently. She moved to the same town as him (which happens to be the town where I live) and I happened to be this guys neighbour. She doesn't even come to visit the baby more than 2-3 times a year!
She then got pregnant twice, by two different dead-beat-dad's. Well when the babies were about one and two, she started dating my brother-in-law. He adored those kids. He was the first semblance of a normal life they had. She still would pawn them off on a nightly basis to kids who were most likely too young to babysit, and then refuse to pay them. (Well at least she smartened up enough to get a babysitter lol) But she never payed them any attention at all, and when she did she would scream her head off at them. When we went to family gatherings, I would hang out with them until she got mad about it and would scream at them to leave me alone ;p I tried telling her it was ok, but in the end it was easier to let her have her way then to watch her scream at them.
So anyways, a couple of months ago, she leaves my brother -in-law (who still continues to take them out places when he can) dumps both the girls on their grandparents, and moves a couple of hours away. I just found out about a week ago, that she is pregnant again!!! Geez some people eh!
Just remember your not alone, there are always people out there who don't deserve their babies, and unfortunately there is nothing we can do about it. I would love to adopt those two girls.
Someday we will get to hold our babies in our arms, and will think back to all those hard times, and it will all be worth it, even though its hard to deal with now. Then we will be the ones on this site, telling others in the same situation about our miracle babies, and giving others hope for the future. Most of all, we will love our babies soo much more, for all the hard times we spent trying to get them here. Someday we will be wonderful mothers :)
My brother-in-laws ex-girlfriend (whom used to be a friend when I was in public school) had a baby when she was 14, would get drunk and have the baby out until four in the morning all the time! I saw her do it with my own eyes. She would pawn the baby off on her friends when he started to cry. Eventually the father of the child found out and adopted him permanently. She moved to the same town as him (which happens to be the town where I live) and I happened to be this guys neighbour. She doesn't even come to visit the baby more than 2-3 times a year!
She then got pregnant twice, by two different dead-beat-dad's. Well when the babies were about one and two, she started dating my brother-in-law. He adored those kids. He was the first semblance of a normal life they had. She still would pawn them off on a nightly basis to kids who were most likely too young to babysit, and then refuse to pay them. (Well at least she smartened up enough to get a babysitter lol) But she never payed them any attention at all, and when she did she would scream her head off at them. When we went to family gatherings, I would hang out with them until she got mad about it and would scream at them to leave me alone ;p I tried telling her it was ok, but in the end it was easier to let her have her way then to watch her scream at them.
So anyways, a couple of months ago, she leaves my brother -in-law (who still continues to take them out places when he can) dumps both the girls on their grandparents, and moves a couple of hours away. I just found out about a week ago, that she is pregnant again!!! Geez some people eh!
Just remember your not alone, there are always people out there who don't deserve their babies, and unfortunately there is nothing we can do about it. I would love to adopt those two girls.
Someday we will get to hold our babies in our arms, and will think back to all those hard times, and it will all be worth it, even though its hard to deal with now. Then we will be the ones on this site, telling others in the same situation about our miracle babies, and giving others hope for the future. Most of all, we will love our babies soo much more, for all the hard times we spent trying to get them here. Someday we will be wonderful mothers :)
I sit here reading all of your stories and am amazed by the support you all give each other. I find this absolutely amazingly wonderful!**
I am on my second cycle of ivf, my folicles did not respond very well last time. I'm not sure what questions i should be asking the doctor, i guess i keep worrying that my folicles may not be responding very well again.
I have already started Gonal F, i'm on day 8 if i'm right. my folicles apparantly 10-11mm. Very nervous anxious worried, I have been through so much to get to this stage, i used to cry all time, watch others with their babies, and wonder why i can't conceive on my own. I always got jealous, ran away from people with babies because all i could do was cry and wonder why me..... My husband wants children I wonder what happens if i cant give him his bundle of joy too!! I wish you all the very best for your future with ivf. God Bless xx
I am on my second cycle of ivf, my folicles did not respond very well last time. I'm not sure what questions i should be asking the doctor, i guess i keep worrying that my folicles may not be responding very well again.
I have already started Gonal F, i'm on day 8 if i'm right. my folicles apparantly 10-11mm. Very nervous anxious worried, I have been through so much to get to this stage, i used to cry all time, watch others with their babies, and wonder why i can't conceive on my own. I always got jealous, ran away from people with babies because all i could do was cry and wonder why me..... My husband wants children I wonder what happens if i cant give him his bundle of joy too!! I wish you all the very best for your future with ivf. God Bless xx
i can feel yorn pain and its normal dor yor to feel this way. I was diagnosed with PCOS, about two years ago, and my husband and i wantee to get pregnant so bad, we tried for one year and we wasnt successful. so i was put on clomid 1 per night for five nights for about six months and that didnt work i was so disappointed each time when i took a pregnancy test and it was negative, i felt that was not going to get pregnant. my doctor up the dosage of the clomid and that still didnt work, so he put me on metformin, and letrazol, and i took the follitism shots, and did an iui when i would be ovulating and waiting those 4 weeks to find out if i was pregnant was very intense, anxious, and i was so excited when the Pregnancy test said positive. and today am proud to say that am a mother of a beautiful baby girl whom i gave birth to in december 2009. so there is hope, just keep trying, and one day you will hold your little bundle of joy in your arms, dont give up. am new to this forum, because reading other people stories on their fertility issues helped me when i was trying to conceive myself.
there is no easy way around this. the reminders of either what you want or what you can't have are everywhere when it comes to this. you get about 10 days of optimism and the get a period and periods make you sad/mad enough biologically let alone when TTC. so you just need to make sure you have someone to talk too. either in this forum or with your DH. i have been in this since 9/07. got preg 3 times in a year and lost all 3. it hurts and the thought of getting hurt again is paralyzing. do what you can to relieve the stress so that your mind does not get in the way. i get mad too at my brother who is divorced and does not see his girl much because of one reason or another. he and i are both adopted and our mom passed away 18 years ago and he knows how much my mom would have done anything for us. and he knows how long my mom tried to conceive befoer adopting and how much i hurt from my losses. it can really create a divide with your friends and family, especially when you are the only one that is childless. but you have to keep your heart open and try not to become green with envy. believe me i watched a woman who had 5 abortions just have a baby on the same date i was due and it can really tear you up. none of us are proud of such feelings and judgements but it is natural. you just have to rise above so that your spirit is happy when the baby is conceived. good luck and stay in touch.
I'm new to this forum. I read your post and I completely relate to your emotions because that's exactly how I feel. I've been ttc with my dh for the last 3 years and nothing. This journey to motherhood has taken the best out of me like you have no idea. You can read my story on my profile. I'm waiting for AF to come so I can start my cycle again. SSBD to everyone!
Hi, I read your story and I know exactly how you feel, it took me six years to get pregnant and now that I am I still can't believe it. To me it was more frustrating because my sister kept getting pregnant and having abortions which I didn't agree with there was nothing I could do, I had even offered to help her and adopt the baby and she refused. anyways to make story short, I have pcos, diabetes and only one ovary. my husband had low sperm count, diabetes and high blood pressure, so I had to go through a lot of testing and it took me two years to actually prepare myself. I was going to start with IUI but my doctor told me straight up it wasn't going to work, so we went straight to IVF, she helped me with everything the process took me a little bit over a month, I started at the end of august and did my transfer the begining of oct, I found out I was pregnant oct 17th, the process was very stressful and emotional but it was worth every moment of it. Stay possitive and don't think about anybody but yourself because it will happen for you. good luck :)
I too worked at a trade school in the city and it just amazed me at how many 17yr old girls would come in pregnant and have 1 or 2 kids too! They wouldn't pay any attention to the poor child sitting next to them crying...my heart breaks every time I saw a situation like that. Fortunately I am not a professor at a university and I don't have to deal with and see it anymore.
I know there are a lot of women out there capable of taking care and loving a child and I wish with all my heart I could help ease their pain!
Patience is definitely the key! I wish you the best of luck on your journey!
I know there are a lot of women out there capable of taking care and loving a child and I wish with all my heart I could help ease their pain!
Patience is definitely the key! I wish you the best of luck on your journey!
I completely understand your feelings of frustration and depression. I always thought when I was ready to be a mom it would just happen like it did for my friends. I've been trying for almost a year with no results. In the meantime, I work with teenage girls who complain about having to save money to stock up on the day after pill. They don't understand the pain I feel inside when they complain about "having to take care of" the situation of pregnancy.
I'm sorry this isn't uplifting or inspiring, I just want you to know that you are not alone in your struggles. I'm sure you will be an amazing mom, I hope that 2010 will bring you the joy that you and your husband deserve.
I am comforted with the good news of my friend getting pregnant after 3 years of trying, she gave up on treatments and focused on the idea of adoption, when she was surprised with symptoms. I guess patience is the key.
Much luck to you and your Husband!
I'm sorry this isn't uplifting or inspiring, I just want you to know that you are not alone in your struggles. I'm sure you will be an amazing mom, I hope that 2010 will bring you the joy that you and your husband deserve.
I am comforted with the good news of my friend getting pregnant after 3 years of trying, she gave up on treatments and focused on the idea of adoption, when she was surprised with symptoms. I guess patience is the key.
Much luck to you and your Husband!
Thank you so much for your kind words...It's stories like yours that inspire me. You have been through a lot also and to just totally defy everything and prove the doctors wrong, amazes me! I am so happy for you.
I know that all I can do is look ahead and hope that this New Year brings me a little bundle of my own. I guess I was just frustrated with irresponsible people conceiving so easily while, My husband and I worked hard to earn our degrees and get great jobs...we are truly blessed to live such a successful life. The only thing or person missing now is a baby, we just don't feel truly complete...Even if I can't conceive, I will definitely adopt. I just want to be a mother so bad!
My husband keeps telling me to be patient and that it will happen! I just have to stay positive.
Thanks again Jenna! :)
I know that all I can do is look ahead and hope that this New Year brings me a little bundle of my own. I guess I was just frustrated with irresponsible people conceiving so easily while, My husband and I worked hard to earn our degrees and get great jobs...we are truly blessed to live such a successful life. The only thing or person missing now is a baby, we just don't feel truly complete...Even if I can't conceive, I will definitely adopt. I just want to be a mother so bad!
My husband keeps telling me to be patient and that it will happen! I just have to stay positive.
Thanks again Jenna! :)
I don't have any great advice, but I would like to tell you that your feelings of sadness and anger seem very normal. Try to be kind, compassionate and loving to yourself. It's okay to be angry, externalize it and express it (just don't sit in it). Remind yourself that their "ease of pregnancy" has no impact on your situation -- it doesn't detract from your ability to get pregnant.
I look around at some of the irresponsible people having children without even thinking about it and then I see some of the most wonderful people on earth struggling with fertility. It isn't fair.
It sounds like you have been through so much. :(
I do have a fertility story of my own. My issue was a high FSH level (23 and later 16). I was told I would not be able to have children on my own and that even with in vitro, I only had a 20% chance at my age to conceive. I was absolutely devastated. I am single, but I was exploring my options because of my age (37) and concern that I would never meet Mr. Right. Fast forward a few months, I started dating a man (someone I knew from high school) and had unprotected sex (knowing it would go nowhere in terms of a pregnancy). After three months of having sex, I got pregnant. Complete shocker. I am now 12 weeks and have heard the baby's heartbeat.
I think the generic lesson from my story is that there will always be times when people fall above or below the radar -- defying statistics. I work in the medical field and I see people defy statistics all the time. That gives me hope.
In terms of when to give up or go to plan c or d, only you will know when enough is enough. If you can afford it and your spirit says I can do this, then go for it. If you need to take a break, then do that.
There are many ways to create a family and I hope that you find one that works for you. I am sure you will be a very loving mommy.
I'll say a prayer for you. :)
I look around at some of the irresponsible people having children without even thinking about it and then I see some of the most wonderful people on earth struggling with fertility. It isn't fair.
It sounds like you have been through so much. :(
I do have a fertility story of my own. My issue was a high FSH level (23 and later 16). I was told I would not be able to have children on my own and that even with in vitro, I only had a 20% chance at my age to conceive. I was absolutely devastated. I am single, but I was exploring my options because of my age (37) and concern that I would never meet Mr. Right. Fast forward a few months, I started dating a man (someone I knew from high school) and had unprotected sex (knowing it would go nowhere in terms of a pregnancy). After three months of having sex, I got pregnant. Complete shocker. I am now 12 weeks and have heard the baby's heartbeat.
I think the generic lesson from my story is that there will always be times when people fall above or below the radar -- defying statistics. I work in the medical field and I see people defy statistics all the time. That gives me hope.
In terms of when to give up or go to plan c or d, only you will know when enough is enough. If you can afford it and your spirit says I can do this, then go for it. If you need to take a break, then do that.
There are many ways to create a family and I hope that you find one that works for you. I am sure you will be a very loving mommy.
I'll say a prayer for you. :)
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