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Avatar universal

I can't stand this....

So my husband and I have been ttc for a couple of months now... I just found out that my 19 year old sister is pregnant with a 33 year old man... and my older sister is trying to get pregnant too... I can't handle this... On top of it all everyone just keeps saying "oh don't worry about it, It will happen just quit thinking about it"
How do you quit thinking about it... I have wanted a baby for a long time... I can't just stop thinking about it...
Sorry I just had to complain and no one else understands but you girls... I really appreciate it
Kibbler
9 Responses
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148691 tn?1260194903
I think that's a nice thing of you to be a little more understanding and appologize for calling here selfish.
Not just because you've been in this boat longer means that you feel more pain.....let me tell you that there's some of us out here that feel as much pain or probably more (in case of a previous loss) than you and not because of that you are less or she is less than anyone else!!!
We are all here in the same boat. Period. Wether you've been here 3,4,5 or 13 years or 2 or 4 months with a VERY PAINFUL loss, which is my case, is the EXACT SAME PAIN!....is the pain of a child that was unborn, of a child that is wanted...and doesn't come.....of a mother to be (expecting or not) whose dreams are shattered every month.......i don't care how much further anyone is....is the same pain.
My mother tryed for 13 years!!!!!!!! THIRTEEN! and not just because of that im gonna call you any names, or tell you what you feel is NOTHING compared to what my mother went thru.....is the same pain, maybe for longer....but same pain.
Let's stop comparing who feels less and who feels more, I am sure she would be JUST AS or maybe more (who knows, everyone is different) strong as you in your shoes. You cannot tell how she would or wouldn't react in the same case you are right now.
Thank you, Good luck to you and the original poster!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I want to clarify my thoughts on this, I'm NOT trying to be harsh, I'm going through what you are and yeah it seems like everyone and their mothers are pregnant around me, but you know why I focus on them because it's what I don't have and can't get, that's why I pay attention to them and ignore the fact that they are different than me. It is hard yes, but it's a bit more frustrating, when someone comes to tell you that theyre been ttc to for 2 months with no luck, and then just those 2 months, 2 cycle 4ww, you found that your sister is pregnant, why would you feel bad about it? it's not like you have been ttc for years.... or maybe you don't even know how long your sister been ttc. The matter of fact is, we can't always think of ourselves, we're not the only person in this earth that prays everyday that this could be our month, please let me have a child, we are NOT the only one, there are MANY people out there, WORST scenarios, WORST pains than you are going through, so I know how it is to vent, but before you do think about it twice, I don't want to call you selfish, I know I was wrong for saying this, but I just can't imagine how you feel if you are in my shoes and waiting for 6 years rather than 2 months.... it's a lot more painful and frustrating... I'm sorry.
Helpful - 0
148691 tn?1260194903
Girl don't pay attention to any poster here that is calling you selfish or talking to you in a harsh way!!!! they don't know what YOU are going thru and we are not here to JUDGE, we are here to help and give words of encouragement! is not like you WISH this would happen to them! at all!!!!! For Christ sake be understanding people!!!!!!!!
Anyway, i just wanted to let you know, i have felt your pain, it is very hard when something like this happens! is like if someone would have a feast right in front of a hungry homeless person!....it is very ironic and very confusing, you don't know what to think! but you are not wishing harm to anyone with the way you feel hun, so don't feel guilty! we are humans!....i've felt that, personally, and at the end...things get better...you learn how to deal with it......and NO, DON'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!......you can't! anyway!, those persons that say, oh, just forget about it and it'll happen obviously are FULL OF C**P!....i would recommend to relax....but keep trying...you know what i mean?? not necesarily stress about it...but keep your pace girl, do what you have to do, wanna keep track of your O day? keep it, wanna try different things? do it!...but remain calm.....for your own good......=))
A BIG HUG TO YOU, and know that you are not alone.
Helpful - 0
132217 tn?1217149017
Harsh words to hear are ones that we dont want to listen to.  How can a wanting to be mother not think of anything but getting pregnant??? Unless you have walked a day in the shoes of couples that have constantly struggled with fertility then others opinions should be kept quiet.  In saying this if you are having a hard time dealing with a couple of months of not getting pregnant, take a seat cos there are ladies on here that have been ttc for years (me included!).  Not saying you are any less worthy, you have probly come to the right place but before you pull your hair out regarding the time frame ttc remember magic doesnt always happen straightaway.  Unfortunately you are in the crowd of ppl that have to earn patience and wat a killer that is!  I have had one mc in may this year and altogether 14 family and friends give birth this year alone, including my sister (and it aint over yet!)....but dont boo for me, I have been thru over 2.5yrs of trying and 13mths of self injections and with a positive attitude yay I am pregnant but I dont gloat (even tho I shuld and it is my first) cos I know how hard all you ladies are doing it.  Be happy for your sisters cos one day it will be your turn and you will want them to support and be happy for you as you were for them, regardless of you situation at the time.  I hope this makes sense and isnt too harsh but I am a realism and so is this site.  Best of luck to you and I hope the sticky baby dusts surrounds you and yours!

Trudy
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
TTC is really hard.  It seems like when you are TTC that every couple is getting pregnant before you.  Some couples may even get pregnant twice before you get a BFP.  I think that TTC is one thing that no one can control though.  You can't get a BFP from really hard work the way you can acquire other good things in your life from hard work.  To a certain extent it's a mystery.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i know exactly how you feel, my older sister is pg and it hasnt happened for us yet.  she was only tying for 1 cycle.  and today i found out that one of girls i useto babysit is pregnant too.  i know how upsetting it can be.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am sorry that you are going through this emotions.  I am not sure what you mean byt a couple of months, but it is emotionaly draining to TTC.  I have been trying for 6 months, not preventing for 8 and have only ovulated once since May.  I have gone through many tests and am still waiting to find out if I have PCOS.  I just found out that my first round of Clomid was a bust, no follicle growth and feel devastated.  It has been hard to do everthing that I can and still not Ovulate at all.  I have some of the same circumstances in my family and a coworker.  I am happy for them, but feel sad that I am not the one that is pregnant.  I don't think you are selfish to feel frustrated and to want a baby so bad.  It is hard to watch everyone get pregnant and you are the only one that is having problems.  Now if you have only tried for a few months, and you ovulate regularly, chances are you will get pregnant within a few months.  For me, the biggest stress is the fact that I don't ovulate and have to take progesterone every 80 days or so to bring on AF.  Try to take it easy and have faith that the right time will come for you too.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It's hard to be happy for others when you want the same for yourself, I understand that so i'm not going to tell you not to be selfish b/c I don't think it's something you can just turn off/on like a light switch. 2 months may seem like eternity to you I know, but really that is exspected after 6 months I'd make a trip to my ob and make sure all is ok with you. In the mean time have you tried the ovulation prediction kits? They worked for me after the loss of my baby at 20 weeks due to an umbilical cord accident, I was pregnant 6 weeks later thanks to the kit, God Bless you and good luck
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You're only TTC for 2 months? I been TTC for 6 years, and some women longer... I know those people are your relatives, you should be happy for them, would you want them to go through what you're going through of having a rough road for now? Don't be too selfish...
Helpful - 0
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