I might need a Sperm Donor??!!

I am sooooo not ok.   Here I am trying to see if I can have a baby - thats like my mission in life right now nothing else is as important.  My boyfriend is being such an a**!!! I don't even know if he is my boyfriend any more i damn near dont want him to be.  He thinks he saw me out with another guy and either 1 of 2 things happened
1. Either he really did see me - but it was my brother and he knows my brother so he should have never come at me like it was somebody else and his subsequent actions show he doesn't think it was my brother
-or-

2. He made it up so he could act like he has a reason not to come around so he can go be with someone else.
Im expecting o anyday - but now that he hasn't given me any in 4 days and his phone is off so I cant call him... i could totally miss what i've been waiting so long for!!! And then have to wait ANOTHER whole month without even getting to know if the past $70 Ive spent on fertilaid and ovulation strips are worth it!!!

Its totally not fair he already has 5 kids he has no idea how much this means to me for him to know about the surgery's/pills/stips and he isn't making sure that he is putting his soldiers were they need to be so they can be there when they need to be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know I might have to put myself first on this one. I love him but I have been with him about 6 years without knowing why I wasn't getting pregnant and know that I am actively trying, because of him it could take me longer than it already has...
and its already so depressing...
a "man" was able to get pregnant before me

its more important to me to have a child than keep someone that isn't as focused on something that is so important to me - so if i get pregnant by someone else then i will just have to deal with the aftermath
he knows im waiting for a specific day and that i have no way to contact him and he hasn't been home in 4 days