I am not sure if there is a rule. My re went for day 5th with me - since it is the blastocyct stage and it has better change to implant. But it failed with me anyway, so for my 2nd IVF, I am not sure which day will be appropriate.
....finally on the 3rd try I had 2 good ones (grade I....which is good), they did not wait till day 5 because they could have fizzled out by then. I am no pregnant. It seems to be a long road for all of us....hang in there. I believe they say blastocyst is better if they are able to get sufficient quantity that far...hope that helps. Prayers to you.
My RE said for me the only option would be to do 5 day transfer. I have 2 uterus and so they are both not the normal size. With day 3 transfer there is always a chance that it could be twins and I would probably not be able to do that. With blastocyst, they are the better quality embryoes and have better chance of implantation. With FET implantation is within 36hrs and fresh is 48hrs. My fresh transfer was just 1 but did not implant, second transfer was 2 frozen, did implant but ended to be chemical pregnancy so that ended in 3 days. I think it is better for 5 days.
It really depends on what your embryos look like. A day 5 transfers ensures that the embryos have developed as far as they possibly can outside the body, and thus you can better gauge the quality of the embryo. If you have a fantastic morula on day 3, however, there is no reason at all that it should be any better for it to wait until day 5. We usually gauge our transfers based on age of the mother (and thus the eggs) and the number of embryos we get from the retrieval.
You might ask about assisted hatching as well. If you have tried several rounds of day 5 transfers, but the zona (the outside covering of the embryo) is still a little thickened, or your embryos haven't hatched out before the transfer - you might be having problems with them attaching. AH will actually thin the zona out so that the embryo has a better chance of hatching out and attaching to the uterus on transfer. Some clinics do this automatically to the best embryos on day three, so you might ask.
Also have you had any embryos cryopreserved? Sometimes frozen transfers have a better success rate than fresh due to the fact that the body doesn't have to go through the stress of a retrieval and the hormone regiment isn't nearly as strenuous (no superovulation). A lot of clinics have excellent FET rates.