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Infertile after abortion, looking for advice
Really don’t know what to do, need your advice. My husband and I have got married 4 year ago. First year of our marriage we’ve been trying to conceive a baby, but unsuccessfully. And actually I knew the reason why. When I was 17 I had an abortion. Nobody knew about it. I had never told about it neither my parents nor friends. And I was very scared to tell about it to my husband. I was afraid he won’t understand and he’ll leave me. And I would never tell about it to my parents. They are very strict and spiritual people. Every day I hear “We want grandchildren!”, “Why don't you still have kids?”, “Don’t you want to become a mother?” Of course I want! I’ve been thinking about it every second of my life and still do!

One day I made a decision to tell everything to my husband and I did. I was surprised by his reaction, because he actually supported me and he really didn’t understand why I was so afraid to tell him earlier. He gave me courage to tell my parents about the reason of my infertility. But their reaction surprised me even more and not in a good sense. In a word, we never talk after that “conversation”. Their words had almost broken me down, but thanks to my husband, I gathered my spirits and we started to thinks about solutions, because we still wanted to have kids.

So we decided to try IVF. We had 5 cycles and all of them failed. I blame myself and I understand that all this is only my fault. This is so painful! I cry all night long, I just don’t know what to do. I want to stop this depression, want to start living, want to have a happy family and the most important – want to have children! We think about surrogacy. But where should we start our search? Maybe you could advice a good clinic? And also IVF procedures pulled a lot of money from us, so maybe you know clinics with affordable prices?
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973741 tn?1342346373
Well, I'm surprised an abortion would cause infertility as one abortion usually doesn't.  That's quite rare.  I'm sorry about that.  Is it due to scar tissue or what is the relationship between abortion and infertility (again, this is rare with a single abortion)?  I'm really sorry though if this is the case for you.  I don't know of any clinics that are inexpensive and the problem is that you may get a suggestion but you have to include travel expense, etc.  So, ask your doctor for an idea as that is your best source of information.  The fertility doctor that has been treating you may very well be a great place to start.  Don't forget about adoption as this is also a wonderful way to have a child.  good luck
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Thanks for your reply. This is so hard. I'm so tired of everyone around getting pregnant except me. I'm happy for them but it makes me sad. My coworker confessed to me recently. We were talking about having children. She asked me why my husband and I still don't have any. I don't really like to share my fertility problems with other. So I didn't tell her everything. And she told me that she had multiple abortions, "even don't remember how many exactly". She got married a couple of years ago and gave birth to her son last year. I'm not judging! I'm just confused why I'm not able to have a baby because of one and only abortion. Anyway thank you so much for support. I hope we'll find an option.
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Dear, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Your husband is a great person. This is very nice he supported you and never blamed you. And I'm sorry your parents reacted in such way. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm sure at that time you have your reasons to do abortion. Family should be the main support for everyone. I hope your parents will change their mind.

I'm sorry your ivfs failed. I can't even imagine how whole this situation is hard for you. Dear, don't give up. You have amazing husband. Together you will find the best way out of this vicious cycle. There are many clinics and many professional doctors. I'm sure at least one of them will help you for sure.
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Thanks for the reply! Yes my hubby is the best. I'm so lucky I have him. He is the most supportive and caring person I've ever had. I miss my parents so much... Though they’ve hurt me. After our argument I felt so angry. I thought I will never ever forgive them. I decided I'll never talk to them again. Now I'm calmed down a little bit... And I want to see them, to hug them, to speak to them... It's been almost 3 years since our argument. I hope our relationships will be back to normal one day. Anyway thanks for support! I really need it right now.
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I am having the same problem Jacky. My abortion was 15 yrs and 9 months ago. I am married to the person who I was pregnant for then. Christian home and all and we have been trying for over 9 years to have a child. I am praying that it will happen despite our mistake. You will conceive soon I am still hopeful.
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961574 tn?1505958942
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I am wondering if you have ever been checked for uterine scarring from your abortion?  It is also known as Ashermans Syndrome!

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