Is donor eggs our last choice?

We wish so much to have a baby. We did a couple of IVF and both BFN. No problem with DH sperm. The doc said because of my age (38 going 39) my eggs were not good. We used up our insurance coverage so the last IVF onwards we must pay ourselves. Considering how much money involves, I have a dilemma whether to keep trying with my own eggs or jump to donor eggs to bigger my chance. But my heart still not in it because I worry that
I won't be able to love the baby since I don't see myself in her/him. Please give me some inputs. Thank you and
God bless.

[BabyBlue07]

go for adoption... I feel the same way as you do... If I can't have baby on my own eggs... I rather to adopt the baby.. newborn... than using someone eggs.. That's just me...

There are alot of newborn baby out there you can adopt... maybe you might want to look into that...

good luck

[mamom15]

Hello, I am 39 and just got pregnant with my own eggs.  I would change clinics and check underlying reasons.  My Re recommemnded that I resume normal activity the day after transfer however I chose to have 2 day bedrest and 2 day of not doing much and I think that helped, as I am not young anymore.   Good luck! I wish you peace in what you decide.  

[dj44boop]

I had my transfer the same day as mamom,,,,and am also positive only difference it was donor eggs and could not be more thrilled,, having older eggs and the risks with the babys health, outweighed anything else i guess: for me having a child for myself and my husband was far beyond the priorityof myeggs;;; i am preganat no matter whose eggs they are only my blood  runs through this child and only my body sustains this child therefore its mine,, , heart and soul ,, and i pray my donor is a fortunate as i am and she has conceived as well shes given me a preciuos gift   without compensation...

[dj44boop]

So sorry i hit send too soon,, i wanted to wish you luck and admire that you are not making a  rash decision keep it in much prayer,, my husband didnot want to adopt unless there werent any other options but we could only pick one( because of finances) and chose this on faith i pray you get the desires of your heart ,...

[maxwellrocks]

I am with Dj44boop on this one.  I to used donor eggs.  To me it's similar to adoption in a way, but you are giving birth to the child.   Good luck :)

[mamom15]

I did a lot of research on this one, there are several women on this foum who are 39 like me and we are [pregnant, I spoke to an RE who teaches at Harvard and he said that only women over 40 need to be worried.  You are still 38, so you have time

[kpmomof1]

I agree with mamo15; you are young and still have time.  (I got pregnant easily at 39 with a high FSH (15) and had a healthy baby at 40.  I'm 41 now and not giving up at all on having another one (I just miscarried but I did get pregnant the first try so am trying to stay positive).)
HOWEVER, it might help lower your anxiety if you could somehow become OK with either adopting or using a donor egg as a back up.  So many people on here have such happy stories to share having children these ways.  Also, I honestly believe that the only reason I got pregnant right away with my baby girl was that I didn't think I was going to be able to get pregnant, so I was planning on using an egg donor (my sister) and I had grown OK with that idea and let go of the stress of thinking I couldn't have my "own" baby.  What I really wanted was a BABY who would be part of my FAMILY.  Best of luck to you.

[maxwellrocks]

In some cases like mine, your age has nothing to do with the quality of your eggs.  Some women have issues regardless.  I found out I had egg issues at 24 so just because you are "38" means nothing.  It totally depends on the woman.  Maybe her Dr is right, maybe he is wrong but if he did tell her that the eggs can't be used  I am sure he did not say it's because they are old.  There has to be another issue.  Yes I would get a second opinion but I am sure it's something that has nothing to do with being 38.

[EiNimea]

Hi all, thank you for all inputs and encouragements. We decided to try again using my own eggs. God bless you all