Aa
Looking for support and advice from people like me.
I do not really have anyone to talk to all my friends are either pregnant or have a little baby.
My husband and I have been activly TTC for 10 months and haven't been using a preventitve for two years. We found out that my husband has a low motility rate and that is why we haven't concieved. My fertility doctor suggested that I get on Clomid and try IUI. I am not feeling to hopful about it though becuse I am not even sure the sperm can reach the egg.
I think that my husband is having feelings of guilt because of his problem. He knows how much I want a baby and knowing that he can't impregnat me the natural way, I think it makes him feel.....I don't really know what he feels. I do not know how to cheer him up.
Sorry this all sounds like a downer, but I have no one else to talk to.
My husband and I have been activly TTC for 10 months and haven't been using a preventitve for two years. We found out that my husband has a low motility rate and that is why we haven't concieved. My fertility doctor suggested that I get on Clomid and try IUI. I am not feeling to hopful about it though becuse I am not even sure the sperm can reach the egg.
I think that my husband is having feelings of guilt because of his problem. He knows how much I want a baby and knowing that he can't impregnat me the natural way, I think it makes him feel.....I don't really know what he feels. I do not know how to cheer him up.
Sorry this all sounds like a downer, but I have no one else to talk to.
Wow- thanks for sharing your story. It brings such hope to those trying! You are truly blessed! :) God Bless you!
We decided right away that we would not do donor sperm either, it was either our baby or adoption. We just want to be parents and adoption has always been in our hearts! I have always felt that God was leading me to it. We're actually moving forward with adoption too. The adoption agency likes you to stop fertility treatments when you sign on with them so we'll have to wait until after this IVF try.
Adoption is such a beautiful thing! All children are God's children and if you can make any child's life better why wouldn't you, right? It sounds like you and your husband will shower any child with love! Best to you! Keep the faith!
Adoption is such a beautiful thing! All children are God's children and if you can make any child's life better why wouldn't you, right? It sounds like you and your husband will shower any child with love! Best to you! Keep the faith!
I know the exact feeling you're going through. My husband is 24, I'm 27. We started TTC in January 2009. I thought it would happen in like 6 months or less (we're both young with no health problems, etc) and after trying everything under the sun to time getting pregnant...nothing. Finally we had our testing and come to find out, he has low everything. Low count, low morphology, and low motility (at less than 5%). I was devestated. He was put on medicine to try and help boost everything, but to no avail. It was REALLY getting hard for me to deal with. I was getting slightly depressed, I cried all the time (and it was really hard everytime I found out a friend got pregnant), and thought we'd never have children. This past April, we finally went to see a fertility doctor and we did IVF w/ ICSI (since his sperm has little to no movement, it was our only option). I was slightly pessimistic about it all because I thought it wouldn't work since his quality & quantity of sperm wasn't all that great. To our shock, we got pregnant the first round w/ fraternal twins :) It's like the doctor told me, "it only takes one sperm and one egg."
It will happen for you. I promise. Whatever route you chose, I hope it all works out in the end :) Good luck!
It will happen for you. I promise. Whatever route you chose, I hope it all works out in the end :) Good luck!
Thank you Jennifer330. My husband is uaually the joking type, but here lately he hasn't been. We have our talks. He suggested that I go to a sperm bank and have some one else's sperm! I told him that I only wanted to be pregnant with his baby and that if that couldn't happen then we could always adopt.
I have been thinking about adpotion a lot lately. My husband and I talked about it and we decided on a plan. We are going to try a few cycles with IUI and if that dosen't work then we will try one or two cycles of IVF. If IVF fails then we will adopt.
Somtimes I wonder if God wants me to adopt instead. I have no problems at all with adoption and think that I will adopt even if we have our own child.
I have been thinking about adpotion a lot lately. My husband and I talked about it and we decided on a plan. We are going to try a few cycles with IUI and if that dosen't work then we will try one or two cycles of IVF. If IVF fails then we will adopt.
Somtimes I wonder if God wants me to adopt instead. I have no problems at all with adoption and think that I will adopt even if we have our own child.
Hi- we too are dealing with low sperm motility issues. We are trying for our first IVF next month after 2 failed IUI's. We've been trying to get pregnant since November 2008. You may need to do ICSI to help the eggs get fertilized.
I think the feelings that you and your husband are going through are very normal. My husband went through guilt and we talked about why he was feeling that way. He felt like he failed me, which was of course was not what I thought at all. He felt bad that it was "his fault". I told him that we are a team and we will go through this together, it is not anyone's fault. This is what God has planned for us and we will get through it together!
I think the most important thing is to reassure your husband of how much you love him! Men see conceiving as part of their manhood and when that is stripped down, it hurts them. I know it's uncomfortable for my husband to go "do his thing" in a cup in a weird office and I tell him how proud of him I am that he can do that FOR US! Lean on each other and communicate, communicate, and then communicate some more!
Each day will get easier, I promise. You'll have good days and challenging days. It's ok to cry and then turn it over to God. You have to see the humor in it too- it's there, believe me. When we went for our IVF consultation, I joked with my husband and said "OK, now how many guys do you know that are talking about freezing their sperm at this very moment, see how lucky you are to have this opportunity?!". I had him and the nurse busting out!Laughter is great for stress.
Have faith and remember that you are never alone, God is always right with you and you have us on this site for support too.
I think the feelings that you and your husband are going through are very normal. My husband went through guilt and we talked about why he was feeling that way. He felt like he failed me, which was of course was not what I thought at all. He felt bad that it was "his fault". I told him that we are a team and we will go through this together, it is not anyone's fault. This is what God has planned for us and we will get through it together!
I think the most important thing is to reassure your husband of how much you love him! Men see conceiving as part of their manhood and when that is stripped down, it hurts them. I know it's uncomfortable for my husband to go "do his thing" in a cup in a weird office and I tell him how proud of him I am that he can do that FOR US! Lean on each other and communicate, communicate, and then communicate some more!
Each day will get easier, I promise. You'll have good days and challenging days. It's ok to cry and then turn it over to God. You have to see the humor in it too- it's there, believe me. When we went for our IVF consultation, I joked with my husband and said "OK, now how many guys do you know that are talking about freezing their sperm at this very moment, see how lucky you are to have this opportunity?!". I had him and the nurse busting out!Laughter is great for stress.
Have faith and remember that you are never alone, God is always right with you and you have us on this site for support too.
I think that God blesses people in differenct ways. The time and longing that humans invest in things they want may/may not be good for us. Our job is to pray and hope that we can continue to do whatever we can to allow it to happen. The rest should be left at God to decide. I have pretty much left everything with God. It is in His hands and if He thinks its best for me, He will make it happen. I am sure of it. I want you to stay positive and pray during this time of waiting. It really makes a difference. Science can only take us so far, God is the All Healer and Provider.
God bless.
God bless.
Thank you. I am a christian and I know that if it be God's will then it will happen.
I was optimistic in the beginning too. Four months went by and no baby. I struggling with depression at the time and my doctor was very help by letting me talk it out with her. I told her that we had only been activly trying for a few months, but my husband and I were sexually active for about 3 years before that so she decided to put a referal into the fertility clinic.
I still try to be optimistic, but it is getting harder and harder as the months go by. Thank you for your kind words and prayer. It is nice to know that people are praying for me.
Many blessings to you.
I was optimistic in the beginning too. Four months went by and no baby. I struggling with depression at the time and my doctor was very help by letting me talk it out with her. I told her that we had only been activly trying for a few months, but my husband and I were sexually active for about 3 years before that so she decided to put a referal into the fertility clinic.
I still try to be optimistic, but it is getting harder and harder as the months go by. Thank you for your kind words and prayer. It is nice to know that people are praying for me.
Many blessings to you.
Thank you for your reply. It helps to hear others share your same hopes, fears, and frustrations. I am very new to all of this. My husband and I have been married for 5 yrs and just started trying last June. I thought for sure I'd get pregnant at the drop of a hat. Not that this is scientific, but we have a total of 13 nieces & nephews so infertility never seemed to be something to be concerned about. Boy were we wrong. I thought all hope was lost after getting results from husband's sperm analysis and doing some internet reading about IUI and male factor infertility. I really thought we would never have children, either adopted or biological. I sobbed over the prospect, which I'm sure didn't help my husband feel any better. My faith is really helping me through this. I don't know what your
feelings are about it, but it has helped to try to see what God's purpose may be in all of this. One thing I know for sure is that I'm closer to Him than I've been in a very long time. Something Ann Kiemel (a Christian writer) wrote on her blog really stuck in my mind and it gives me comfort. She wrote, "Here we are, God's children. Suffering. Striving. He is working to remind us that without troubles, we would forget the desperate need for Him. His grace. His Presence." This is so true. I've also been reading a book that really helped me. It is called Empty Womb Aching Heart. Lots of stories about the feelings of women (and some men) about their questions about why they are going through this struggle, etc. Ultimately, I know that God loves his children and wants to bless them. There is no reason he wouldn't want to bless you or I with a child. However, this may or may not be in His plan. We must trust that His plan is ultimately the best thing for us.
My husband also feels bad that "he is the problem" as he puts it, but he doesn't have issues with feeling as if he is less of a man or that we can't conceive w/o help. He has a very healthy view of things in that respect. I don't blame your husband for feeling that way though, it's very natural to think such things. It might not be so much about cheering him up, but being supportive, reassuring, and a listening ear. One thing I think is respectful and loving is to keep the "cause" between you and him (and us of course). If he wants to share it, he can. But he may feel more loved if you give him that choice. I've also told my husband that I wouldn't trade him in for 10 studs with super sperm. I honestly wouldn't want to have children with anyone but my husband. I think that is part of the joy of creating a child...seeing a little of the other person you love in him or her. Maybe that would reassure him too.
Try not to lose all hope. I try to be cautiously optimistic, though optimism isn't exactly my natural inclination unfortunately. As I've been learning, there are so many treatment options in the world of infertility. Try not to look too far ahead and take one day at a time. I'll say a little prayer for you.
feelings are about it, but it has helped to try to see what God's purpose may be in all of this. One thing I know for sure is that I'm closer to Him than I've been in a very long time. Something Ann Kiemel (a Christian writer) wrote on her blog really stuck in my mind and it gives me comfort. She wrote, "Here we are, God's children. Suffering. Striving. He is working to remind us that without troubles, we would forget the desperate need for Him. His grace. His Presence." This is so true. I've also been reading a book that really helped me. It is called Empty Womb Aching Heart. Lots of stories about the feelings of women (and some men) about their questions about why they are going through this struggle, etc. Ultimately, I know that God loves his children and wants to bless them. There is no reason he wouldn't want to bless you or I with a child. However, this may or may not be in His plan. We must trust that His plan is ultimately the best thing for us.
My husband also feels bad that "he is the problem" as he puts it, but he doesn't have issues with feeling as if he is less of a man or that we can't conceive w/o help. He has a very healthy view of things in that respect. I don't blame your husband for feeling that way though, it's very natural to think such things. It might not be so much about cheering him up, but being supportive, reassuring, and a listening ear. One thing I think is respectful and loving is to keep the "cause" between you and him (and us of course). If he wants to share it, he can. But he may feel more loved if you give him that choice. I've also told my husband that I wouldn't trade him in for 10 studs with super sperm. I honestly wouldn't want to have children with anyone but my husband. I think that is part of the joy of creating a child...seeing a little of the other person you love in him or her. Maybe that would reassure him too.
Try not to lose all hope. I try to be cautiously optimistic, though optimism isn't exactly my natural inclination unfortunately. As I've been learning, there are so many treatment options in the world of infertility. Try not to look too far ahead and take one day at a time. I'll say a little prayer for you.
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