Overall experience w/ IVF & being an egg donor recepient
I think i just like to satisfy my curiosity about what everyones overall exprience with the so-called "roller coster ride" we all have experienced with infertility tx-IVF as well as being an egg donor recepient. Plus with the past 6 yrs i've been in infertility tx i still have more questions than answers. At times i question myself if it is only me that is go thru one disappointment after another..
i guess to give you all my background i went to my 1st & infertility group as recommended by my ob/gyn. But to me i feel like even before i had my first eval in 2005 @ 38 then, i was alreay hitting a wall. After finding out from my insurance comp that they cover infertility tx, i tried to obtain auth for the initial eval, since being in a medical profession myself. But of course i know for a fact that they dont't do that. But when i informed the MD office i am going to go to, the finance dept informed me that they don't obtain auth, my 1st frustration. Anyhow the day of my visit came, was 15 mins late due to work held-up, got yield up by the receptionist "do you know what time is it and not sure if the doctor will still see me." My mind was telling me to leave right then and then, but since i was already decided to go with it anyway. While i was trying to undress with so many layers of close since it was winter time, they knock in the examining room 3x. And when i sat down with the nurse, she asked me 3x whether i am going to have an IVF-honestly it really turned me off because how can you say such a thing when in fact you have not done any test to confirm what is wrong with me yet. My overall assessment with them then was the same as now - all that they see in my face is a $$$$ sign.
A year later we decided to go to a different group, had a more personal tx but to me 1-particular doctor i did not like much, as for some reason, she really hurt me a lot when she does UTZ. We did 3-IVF's with them & 1-IUI with all has negative pregnancy test.
In 2007 we decided to go back to the 1st group as i've heard it ,time and time and again that they have a high success rate in the state where i live, thru word of mouth. The MD that i pick seems nice that time, informed me that i can try another IVF which we did and again failed. So the neext step was egg donor.
Went thru the process with our first donor and everything was going well. Until the day after the retreival when a bombshell was dropped on me that our 25yo donor had only 2 follciles retrieved and only 1-fertilized. Up until that time was was so positive & opstimistic with things as per my MD during the inital eval mentioned they most of the time just do 1-transfer to their recepient esp if the donor is in their 20's. Right there and then my hope was gone, things was going thru my mind, "what did out donor do - took drugs and so forth and so. " My husband mentioned that we have to find out how many follicles was in the donor's ovaries before the retrieval, because it will give us a reason of whether it was our donor that was at fault or it was a human error in handling the retrieval process. What i found out was there where a total of 29 follicles altogether prior to the day of the retrieval. So i left a VM with my reg-RN, of why it was that out of 29-follicles only 2 were retrieved, with no chance at all having something frozen for future transfers. But never got an answer from her. Two-days later i got a call already for transfer, i asked the RN same questions that i previously left in the my RN-VM. She mentioned initially that "that is bizzare." She told me that she is going to have the lab people talk to me when i arrived in the office. In tears and so distraught i arrived in the office, lab personnel talk to me saying that the donor probably had ovulated prior to the retrieval. I refused to believed them, because they time the retrieval to make sure that the donor does not ovulate. And further mentioned that she had spoken with my MD and he will do right by me, my MD came to the bedside and informed me that he is going to have me try 1-more time this time i just have to be responsible for the donor fee, meds & anesthesia. He also did the transfer. Took 2-wks vacation to give it my all.
The day of the f/u came, i verified with MD again about the fees that is required from us this time. He confirm that we are just going to be responsible only with donor fee/meds & anesthesia. He also mentioned that he will only do a proven donor this time. Then the only question I asked from my MD was whether they found out what exactly happened, why only they retrieved 2 out of 29 follicles. His answer was "we are going to nobel prize winner if we know." I thought that was a sarcastic remark.
We end up with a 21y.o. 1st time donor again since no proven donor was avail with the ethnicity we were looking for. I had been receiving bills from the office. And everytime i have to asked them if they had been informed by my doctor what we are only be responsible for. And the same answer i get was, we have to check with him. So the financial clearance call came i again just have the personnel go through the lengthy speech, and then she mentioned of a reamining balace we have in the account from the previous cycle as eventhough we paid for the entire cycle they still put a claim to our insurance with whatever was the remaining coverage we have, that amounts to almost covers both donor fee & anesthesia. Personnel mentioned he will check with my MD & get back to me. She mentioned afterwards that we still have to pay more than half of the amount of the donor fee, so i inquired what happened to the half of the balance she said, that's the amount we are responsible, decided to pay amount given. Thought that time that it already covers both the donor fee and anesthesia. But somewhere after the retrieval i still got a call for the anesthesia fee.
Then MD-f/u prior to the start of the cycle came, first thing that MD mentioned that they had been generous with us so far with us. Then i asked if is possible for us to be informed exactly how many follicles does our donor have prior to the retireval and he flip this time and sarcastically mentioned absolutely not due to HIPAA regulations. I just lost it this time and told my MD that he just does not care. And just decided to end our conversation that time. What i eventually found out thru the meds Rx was that he had tranferred me to another MD in the office.
VM from RN after retrieval: 28 = retrieved; 17 = exposed to ICSI and 13 = fertilized.
Finally for the 1st - time got a day-5 transfer, was told by MD: 12 developed out of the 13 egg that fertilized. Will transfer 2-blast grade 4-B and is still observing the developing 10 prior to freezing.
Every w/e for the pregesterone and pregnancy test kept on asking RN the status of the reamining fertilized eggs, all the answer i get was the info is locked, then i have to talk to my regular RN. Mon after my positive pregnancy test, made TC=reg RN ,inquried of the status of the remaining embryo, her first answer was, i don't have any info on it. Then she stated nothing was frozen at all with no explanation. In my mind how could that be that 10 were still developing and nothing came out from it. Then the final lab rpt came a day or 2 later which stated total follicle retrieved was 20 instead of 28 which was a discrepancy. My thinking really is the rest of those embryos was kept for reseach. Not sure if it was because we just paid half of the donor fee, but if that's the case aren't we entilted to also half of the frozen embryo. Or they just don't care and thought that since i already had a postive pregnancy test that i wouldn't mind anymore of the remaining' embryo at all.
And now i am at the verge of a miscarriage without any frozen embryo to possibly transfer, to try again.
Its very unfair that you had to go through all this..
Atleast you are pregnant now.. Why do you think you are at the verge of a miscarriage ?
I hope your pregnancy will go fine and you will have 1 or 2 great babies out of it. .and you won't have to worry about those missing embryos.
Unfortunately i started spotting the day after my first UTZ, which was last Mon-3/22/10, night time a day later i started spotting (dark brown to light pink). But then the 2nd night i started bleeding heavily with clots and also experienced abdominal pain for at least an hour which i could not sleep at all althroughtout that time. I went for my sched rpt UTZ & bld work-yesterday-3/25/10 and was told by MDthat the sac is there but it is the same size from last Mon-UTZ and if the Hcg drops that is a concern as of a big possibility of an early miscarriage. Got a call in the afternoon from the RN-told me that my hcg had dropped 815 points and have to go back tom to confirm everything. I cont to have slight bleeding almost like a light period with some cramping until now. So it is really so hard to be hopeful. And worst thing was i did not tell my husband that we don't have any frozen embryo as i really didn't want to concern him with it. And also thought that he will not even consider to continue any further moreso a frozen transfer. To my surprise that was his first question, when he arrived last night - if we have frozen to transfer. So i did tell him.
I would have hope to have given you a good news, but unfortunately i continued to bleed since last Wed, my hcg had also cont to drop as well and was given a confirmation last Sat of the lost of my pregnancy. It has been pretty devastating but i am holding up pretty good and keeping the faith that one day i will be pregnant and have a baby.
I've already research of what other options are out there. And since it seems like we don't have a good outcome with a a donor and fresh transfer despite having 2 of them already. So the next step we are going to take is a frozen egg, believe it or not i've already spoken with the Director of the Infertility clinic last Fri and have ideas already of how everything goes.
For now i am keeping both my body and mind at rest but continued to take care of myself and eat healthy. My husband & I had also plan to take the vacation that we have to cancel because of the conflict of time with previous retrieval. And also basically give myself time to recover from all that had transpired.
I am very sorry for your loss.. All I could say is don't give up hope .. I am sure you have a little one in very near future.
I won't say you did not have a good outcome with donor eggs.. The first time (2 eggs retrieved) was your RE's mistake.. The second time, you did conceive .. but unfortunately miscarried.. and you could have had more chances if there were frozen eggs.. Again I think that your RE didn't do it right.
A vacation sounds great :) Have fun ..
I would suggest you try a different fertility center for the next time.
Thanks again... is looking forward to the vacation...
Yes definitely the infertility center we are going to go to this time is a different one. Actually it is out-of-state from us, but don't mind at all. So far there are only 2 i've found in my research that are egg banks. And the one who responded to my e-mail and also whom the director have already spoken to me was very nice and had given me the overview of the program, what we could expect and had also answered some of my questions. Honestly i dont even know if i still want to talk to my MD in this current facility for f/u, since the last time we met prior to this last cycle our conversation didn't go well at all. So i will discuss this with my husband tonight if he thinks it is still usefull to met or if i am just going to just say goodbye to them for good after my blood work this coming Thurs-I gues to confirm a 0=hcg. Although not sure at this time if i am going need a D&C, 'coz when i called my OB-gyn's office i was told by the office asst to ask my infertility-MD since they are the one that whom i was f/u with the pregnancy. My plan is to ask my reg-RN on Thurs after my bld work, hopefully seh could tell me if a D&C is needed or not.
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