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Pregnant at 41. THE REAL QUESTION
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Pregnant at 41. THE REAL QUESTION

Is it possible to get feedback from women who have experiences with pregnancy at 41 or after? The first few posts.. were great, but then the focus was lost ... Not looking for opinions on God, just info on having babies after 40. Thanks to all women responding on this issue....
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34 Comments Post a Comment
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178239_tn?1277409091
I wrote yesterday, hi again. I lost my 1st one at 41 in January. Nothing to do with age. I was 12 weeks and everything was textbook. My dh & I really want a baby and are ttc again. He is 43 and doesnt have any kids either, 2nd marraige for both.

From all I got bombarded with when I found out I was pg, I was scared to death. "Advanced Maternal Age", doesn't that make you feel great. Then all of the statistics! Yikes! Well, after a ton of reading and finding this forum, I feel much better. Most of the statistics for genetic disorders are based on older numbers. The fact is the number of women over 35 & over 40 are exploding. March of Dimes is doing new studies for our age now.

We have our careers, we have our cars, houses, toys etc. Now we're ready for the family. I wouldn't have minded starting a little earlier, but dh & I weren't together then. There's nothing wrong with it, our equipment is working just fine. Maybe your life is different, but you sound like you're ready. Is dh on the same page? I wish you nothing but the best! Tina
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178698_tn?1228777938
I've gotten pregnant twice in my 40's but lost both in miscarriage.  

Big dif is you higher risk for having c-section and high blood pressure.  Chance of miscarrying is higher too.  The docs will probably want to do an amnio to rule out down's syndrome.  If you take the AFP, it will probably come out abnormal because of age.  

I think that's basically it.  I haven't been able to get beyond 8 weeks in my 40s...so that's about it for my experiences.

Otherwise, most are uneventful.

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Avatar_n_tn
Maybe there should be a forum just for "older" women.  I'm over 35 (not 40 yet!) and because we're considered "high risk", I think we have some concerns not noted by those in their 20s and early 30s.

However, I know many women in their late 30s and early 40s who had uneventful pregnancies and no problems before (like miscarriages or fetility issues).  It's just statistically speaking, we are at higher risk for certain problems, like Down's.  And even the Down's risk is still very small, just higher than that for under 35s.
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Avatar_n_tn
I wish i were your agE i would not think too much, just i would star trying very soon. I had my DD at age 41 i got pregnant at age 40 everything was fine and i am 44 almost 45 i am still want another baby and i am not thinking to stop trying to get it.  about haveing  bab and i would. Good luck. Sorry for my english is not my first languaje.
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164559_tn?1233711618
Hello, just wanted to send encouragement your way.  I am 40 and currently 11w1d.  I had two mc last year but this one seems to be sticking (please dear Lord).
My mother in law was married 20 years before she was able to concieve (conceive), she delivered healthy babies at 39, 41, 44.  Her mother had her last child at 47.  These were natural births, no medical help concieving ( this was the 60's).

So please take heart my dear and don't be discouraged.
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Avatar_n_tn
You ladies are great,I'm a lil scared but hearing from you makes it better, thanks so much for info, i know there are certain tests they have to give for the baby (downs, etc..) but i guess thats a chance u have to take..wish u all well thanks again
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183942_tn?1218842109
I have two friend,  both 41,  who had beautiful healthy babies just last year.  Both pregnancies were considered "high risk" and so both my friends had all the testing - amnio and the whole nine yards - but both babies are healthy.

My best friend Mary,  got married at 39,  had two miscarriages - the got pregnant at 42 and delivered healthy twins (no fertility drugs), a boy and a girl -  a month before her 43rd birthday.  She refused all testing.  The twins are now nine years old and are your typical kids - full of mischief and love.

Hope this helps!
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Avatar_n_tn
Thanks so much....your post really helps
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Avatar_n_tn
I'm 37 going on 38 in october and I am 1 month pregnant. I've had 1 miscarriage and my last son was born at 6 months and has CP and is a joy to my life. I've had 2 other son's but lost one to SIDS at 31/2 months old.  This pregnancy is a suprise as my  youngest is 6 and I 'm having pre metopausal signs, but I deffinately want to have this baby but am so scared to hope.  Once I get to the end of october I'll feel better but right now I'm scaed to death.
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Avatar_n_tn
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Avatar_m_tn
I'm 41 and 6 weeks pregnant for the very first time. It was unplanned. I was using the fertility awareness method (FAM) and just got overly confident I guess-- honestly didn't think I could get pregnant.  The relationship is only six months old, love each other but he's younger (34) and not ready, neither do I feel ready-- he definitely wants to have an abortion. I've been feeling so sick lately that I can't seem to get my head around a decision but I know I have to... I still just can't believe I'm pregnant.  Want to hear from ladies out there with similar experiences or insights in this situation.  How would I do this alone? How do you do this with an unwilling partner?
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Avatar_m_tn
I'm 41 and 6 weeks pregnant for the very first time. It was unplanned. I was using the fertility awareness method (FAM) and just got overly confident I guess-- honestly didn't think I could get pregnant.  The relationship is only six months old, love each other but he's younger (34) and not ready, neither do I feel ready-- he definitely wants to have an abortion. I've been feeling so sick lately that I can't seem to get my head around a decision but I know I have to... I still just can't believe I'm pregnant.  Want to hear from ladies out there with similar experiences or insights in this situation.  How would I do this alone? How do you do this with an unwilling partner?
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443968_tn?1288616289
I am 38 started  ttc about 3 years ago bc felt that before I needed working on my career, now I am ready with a house, car, good husband and ready but have been struggling with the whole fertility issue. I just recently 10/21 had a frozen  embryo transfer using my last embryos so I hope this is it.
I agree we should have something for ladies like us.
Good luck to all.
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413852_tn?1317312312
WOW...I can understand being afraid of caring for a child on your own, but realize that although "he definitely wants to have an abortion"...the decision you make will affect only your life/mind/spirit & emotions. Also, if you don't have any children, you may want them one day & all you have to do is review some of the threads on fert forum to see how difficult it can be to conceive...it comes w/ much heartache...some of it undescribable. I'm sending wishes of encouragement to you.

Savanha
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581359_tn?1358282565
My DH's mother had him when she was 40.  He was born in '77.  She didn't have any tests, he's heathy, and we are now having our second girl.  His mom is almost 71 now and loves being a grandma.  She had 4 other kids before DH though.  The only thing with her pregnacy is that he was a big baby. 9lbs 10oz, it wasn't a problem though she still had him vag.  Good luck!
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Avatar_n_tn
I am 41 and I just found out that I am 3 weeks pregnant. I am very excited but nervous.  I have a wonderful daughter that is 16 years old and a wonderful guy to share this moment with but with the amnio testing, down syndrome and birth defects it just scares the heck out of me and I'm wondering should I even take those test or just keep the faith??????????
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384150_tn?1399908416
41 is a great age to have a baby.  I had a healthy one at 41.  Its a lot of work, but it keeps me young.
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Avatar_n_tn
The 41 year old mom, which birth defect test you take?  I think I'm choosin the screen rather then the other amnio????????
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Avatar_f_tn
I am happy to hear of your experience!!
I hope I can be so lucky:)
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Avatar_m_tn
I am 41 just found out we are 4 weeks pregnant with number 3 (surprize!)-  my other "babies" are only 3 and 1 and I have had healthy pregnancies at 37, and 39.   We just feel so overwhelmed already w/ the 2 little ones,  and it seems unachievable to handle the stress of another.   We did not want more,  esp. my hubbie!!,    though I entertained the thought of another baby and was  jealous of pregnant women and newborn moms.... so maybe it's meant to be.   I am seriously considering the medical termination -  it is definitely what my husband would choose though he would never ask me to do it or pressure me.   I just feel so bummed and depressed to consider 2 more years of sleeplessness,  I have been pushed to my limit already!  Any thoughts I am willing to listen.
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1937955_tn?1323664631
Hi, just want to introduce myself.  I'm Heather, I'm 41, and I'm 15 weeks pregnant.  Last year around this time, I lost a pregnancy at around 7 weeks...a few months later I found out I was pregnant again, that one we found out was a tubular and they had to give me a shot in each hip to stop it from growing.  Now here we go again, and so far, so good.  I was starting to think that maybe I was just a little to old.  This will be my 3rd live birth if all goes well, I have a 16 and 9 year old.  All my children have been spaced out, so they've all had a chance to be the baby of the family for a while.  I've been for an ultrasound and heard the heartbeat, and seen it moving around in there.  They did some measurements around the spine and so far all looks well.  But I am refusing the amnio, there is a small risk of causing me to lose the baby, and even a small risk is to much for me.  I don't need to know if the baby has a handicap, it's still a baby.  Waking up feeling sick never goes away, and now to top it off I've got a horrible cold with cough.  My cravings change from day to day, and I'm keeping the boyfriend on his toes.  I'm terrified and exciting all at once.  But so scared that like the other two, this one may not survive.  Not only am I older, but I'm very over weight.  I find it very hard to look forward when the past year keeps haunting me.  I want to be excited but the reality of the situation keeps me grounded.  Is there any other older, overweight women with success stories to give me hope for a great turn out?  And good luck to all those expectant mothers, and those who are trying.   :)  Heather
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi. I am 41 years old and my husband and I just started to try and get pregnant. I am in good health and my FSH level is normal. I bought the digital Clearblue ovulation test to determine which days I am most fertile each month. I also was recommended to use Preseed lubricant which is sperm friendly and helps the sperm get to the right place! I really don't feel nervous and believe I will get pregnant within the next 6 months, hopefully. Are there any other tips that will help me get pregnant? I heard that acupuncture helps. Genetically, on my mothers side of the family, she and her mother had their periods unti they were in their late 50's! My mom, and two sisters had no trouble at all getting pregnant. They were younger than I am, but I am hoping that this plays a factor. Thank you for reading my story. Also, a lot of women do have babies naturally in their 40's!
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Avatar_m_tn
I had a baby at 35 with a partner who wanted me to terminate due to relationship struggles. I had a healthy baby girl and we are still together 5 years later. Don't terminate because he wants you to, listen to your heart. If you want a child don't wait for perfect timing-it doesn't exist.
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Avatar_m_tn
WOW!!! I thought this forum was for older women who want to conceive and are having difficulty with it.  I did not expect to have people who got healthy pregnancies share share their dilemma about terminating otherwise healthy pregnancy. I am 45, single, never married (although I have been trying for years to find a good husband but have been unsuccessful), never got pregnant. I LOVE childten. My chances of having a child are very slim due to my ovarian reserve, my age and past myomectomy.  I have high blood pressure.  I am exercising, watching my diet, and recently my doctor put me on a medication to lower it.   I have been driving 5 hours each way each time I have to get a test done and each time I need to see my fertility doctor. This child I want to have will be from a sperm donor ( I do not even have a man to get me pregnant, yet I am trying very hard to have a child!!!!!).   I am praying hard to have a child on my own soon. It just makes me VERY angry when I see women who are healthy, got pregnant and want to terminate because of "stupid" reasons.  I know I cannot judge because I do not know you. I am only using the information you provided to reply. You have been blessed with something many of us on this forum are trying very hard to have and you want to throw it away. PLEASE read this forum's thread first before making a decision to terminate an otherwise healthy pregnancy. You do not have any child now but you may want to have some one day and who knows if you will be able to conceive at that time.  The older you get, the harder it is to get pregnant. Although it may seem (and it is) hard to raise a child on your own think about all of the positive things the child will bring to your life. We are talking about a human being that you are carying not a merchandise you can throw  away and buy in a store when you need it again. PLEASE think about you and how a termination will affect you physically and mentally now and maybe in 5-10 years. Your boyfriend can have a child up to his 60's (even his 70's if he wants to) but you, you only have a very small window to do so.  The decision belongs to you and only you.  In the worst of the case, if you cannot take care of the child on your own, give it for adoption. You will make another person happy. A person who really knows the value of what you have and they do not.
This is not intended to be a lecture or to scold you but to realize that you have something that money cannot buy something very precious other women are dying to have. Do not thow it away.

Lolita231
I am sorry to be angry. But a child is a RARE COMODITY in our age group. The decision belongs to you.  Do not let your significant other feeling overshadow your decision.
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Avatar_f_tn
I have had three Ceasareans My oldest is 19, 12 AND 11 AND A NOW IM 41.  Trying to have another baby.  Been praying on it and even purchased First Response Test to find out my LH levels.  Hoping and praying its still possible.  Would like to know if anyone have had similar success and situations.
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3179582_tn?1344542373
Double_OO, if it makes you feel any better, we are forty-six and trying. My husband had cancer about eighteen years ago, so we assumed that we would never have a child together. As it turns out, he is still fertile. Shocker--we found out we were expecting in May 2011, but we lost it at about six weeks and two days. Now we are going to a RE for treatments. I have luteal phase defect, so I have to take progesterone during half of my month. His count is low, so he is on meds to increase it. We are too old for IVF, but we can use IUI. We are praying. This has been a difficult journey. I wish you the best!
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Avatar_f_tn
dont get discouraged im 41 & just found out im 3 1/2 wks .. after a miscarriage a 1- 1/2 yrs ago im very excited.. I had the dnc done at 8 wks bcause the bby had no heart beat  :(chromosomes..  howeva after speaking with dr an research they say having a dnc done better chances of the baby " sticking" next time.. so here I am an just want to say b happy and think positive girl ;)
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1312984_tn?1276976255
A big AMEN to that!! I was thinking the same thing!
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Avatar_m_tn
I am also 41 and almost 5 weeks preganant.  I have a 15 year old daughter and 13 year old son.  I have been doing so much reading about AMA pregnanices and am terrified as well.  I keep telling myself to stay positive... I will be getting whatever testing my Doctor recommends...Best of wishes to you!
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Avatar_f_tn
I am 40 and been TTC for about 2 and a half yrs, have had two m/c and failed cycles. I am starting back up and trying naturally and really hoping something happens. I am single too which makes it harder. I will not do Ivf with my own eggs again as IUIs have worked in the past but docs think its an egg issue. I am taking lots of supplements, foluc acid, baby aspirin and Clomid days 3-7. I will try every cycle for the next several months. Yes I Isuzu I would have done this a lot sooner but I never married and was too nervous to be a single mom. I know several women who have conceived at 40, 41 and 42 naturally and had healthy babies. Yes it may take longer and a miscarriage or two seems may occur but there is a good egg in there somewhere. I also believe older eggs fertilize better inside of you. I do not discuss my age with anyone, not even co workers. They assume I am under 40 so i let them think that. Women are having families a lot later today than 70,  80 yrs ago. Sure I think about being almost 60 when they graduate but I can also say I plan on being a much better parent than I could have been in
My 20s. I am more stable now than I have ever been and i am capable of paying for daycare and so on. I have been ready for a while now. I feel this is my time And I don't care what family members say if and when this happens.  . Good luck to all of the ladies.
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Avatar_f_tn
I will be 41 soon and just found out i'm 6 weeks pregnant.  My first boy is 6 and my husband and i were trying for the past years to have another one.  I even went to see a doc to check on my hormones etc and the doc said that my body is not producing enough. I even not producing eggs. Recently we went for a holiday and I guess with all the fun and sun, I finally got pregnant. Scared because of my age and the tests, but will pray to God to have a beautiful and healthy baby. To KJBandme, the decision is yours. This could be your last chance to get pregnant!
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Avatar_f_tn
I had a tubal reversal one year ago and husband deployed for nine months to Kuwait so we hadn't had a whole lot of time to work on it. Just turned 41 yesterday and its two months after his return and we are 4 weeks pregnant. No assistance. Good old fashioned way:) he's still in disbelief after doctors told us chances were slim to none
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Avatar_m_tn
KJ, I have some experience that I hope will help.  What to do with this pregnancy is your decision.  If you want to have it and your partner doesn't you CAN do it alone.  I did.  I had my first child ten years ago and had to leave his dad on mothers day when he was 4 months old.  We are both better for it and it can be done.  Keep heart and follow your instincts.

I am 41 now and married my second husband 30 days ago.  I just discovered I am 7 weeks pregnant.  Completely unplanned!  My husband is almost 50 and has a 26 daughter and 24 son.  This is completely crazy but now i am scared to death i am going to miscarry.  I have to figure out how to stay calm through the next few weeks. I miscarried in my thirties and had no idea because of no bleeding but I suddenly started feeling better. This time I am constantly asking myself, do I still feel pregnant.  
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Avatar_f_tn
I am 41 almost 42 and 5 weeks  pregnant with  my 7th child, my children range in age from 17 to 3 years old. My husband and I are excited! I am nervous about my age but staying positive.  I was blessed with easy pregnancies before and hope all goes well this time too.
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