Thinking about using an egg donor- a sibling

Has anybody used an egg donor? I am thinking about using my sister. We are going in on the 23rd for testing. Any feedback? Have had four failed IVF's and two failed IUI with my own eggs. I do not produce eggs and two doctors told me to get a donor. I am 36 and my husband and I are ready to move on to the next step... I think....

[mhv]

I think it's an amazing idea. And an even more amazing sister for offering to do it for you.  My DH and I are using donor eggs from an amazing friend.  The first one was successful but unfortunatly I m/c'd due to uterus problems, we have tried 1 time since and got a BFN, but am anxiously waiting to try again.  I say whatever helps you achieve your dream....Go For It!!!!

[B74]

Hi: Thanks for the advice.
Its been a hard road for the last 2 years and my husband and I have finally come to grips this is where is going.
My sister has been all for it and is excited to help.
Its a lot of money again... but you almost get immune to spending all this money.
Good luck to you and I hope the next time is successful!
How were and your partner about using a donor and the egg will not be you personally? Was it hard for you?
Thanks again and I REALLY hope you have luck next time. I feel for you!
B-

[Mariana101]

I had 4 failed IVF and I will do an egg nodor very soon... we are working on the paperwork, testing, lawyers, etc.... but it will happen withing the next four months or so. IM SO HAPPY!!!! My donor is awesome.... The minute i read her profile I knew it plus she looks like me... only 19 years younger!! hahhahaha!!!! so it should work!!!. This is the ultimate gift someone can give you and coming form your sister it is amazing... my sister is 52 so it wouldn't work!!! (I'm 41 and have a 15 year old daughter from a previous marriage)

GOOD LUCK!!!! to all of us in this train.... It's funny how I can be so public in this forum and NOBODY else knows in my family. I have just told my best friend because otherwise it will be weird, and she lives around.
Thanks you ladies for all your support!!!

[Mariana101]

BTW!!! I have a Malsese as well... he is in my pic:) Aren't they adorable:) (% year old Maltese named Teddy)

[mhv]

I actually didn't even think about using my own eggs.  I was 40 when we started this process, and just wanted the best chance of getting pregnant, without all of the let downs.  Although, I've had those along this way too  It, to me, was a no brainer.  I could have easily adopted, but hubby wanted a child of his own.  I just don't care how it get's here as long as I have a baby to call my own.  Thank you, for you kind words.  I just hope 3rd time is a charm : )

[JennaShi]

I just went through a fertility round with an egg donor. I can certainly tell you all about the process if you are interested. :)

[B74]

Ok, noted. I understand. we have our tests this week to see if she able to help us. More blood work for everybody! My husband had to give this time and such a baby! I said... do you know what I have been doing for the last two years! LOL
Well keep me updated and 3rd time will be a charm for you!
B-

[mhv]

Ha ha! that's funny about your DH!  Wait till he has to go in that little room with the R rated movies!  That's a funny process too!  My hubby and I just had to laugh at that!  Romantic?  Nope!  Neccesary?  Yep.... I can't wait to see your journey unfold!  You will be preggers before you know it!  
Melissa

[B74]

That is so funny about your dog. She looks like my dog Alva. We LOVE MA too. My husband's family is from there. Being a Sox's fan in NYC is hard! :)
Anyway, you sound like you went down a similar path as me. We are talking to lawyers too. We have family that are lawyers but not that type of law, so they are trying to help us.
My sister goes through all her tests on the 23rd and the four of us including her husband we have to sit down with the councilor.
My husband got a bit annoyed this week, about the lawyers and questions. Its a lot and he feels we are spending so much money they could make a bit easier for us. The are so cryptic on what we need to do and hard to get in touch with them.
I feel like it was our first IVF... you do not know what you are doing and they really do not walk you through it and the second time you are a pro! BUT i am not doing this donor egg thing again... this has to work!!!
I will let you know how this week goes and if it is goes well, it will be in the next two months they will let us try.
You are all correct... the point is to have a baby of our own!
I this is silly... but I think how much we love our dog. How much we feel for her and love her and I did not give birth to her, so i know if this baby is not of me personally, I will love it unconditionally! Its just been a hard road getting here and i hope it ends soon. Being in early menopause in you mid thirties has not bee easy!

Good luck to you and keep me updated... this is going to be it! B

[B74]

Hi Jenna-
Yes any advice and help would help us! I do not know anybody personally going through this. Some of my family knows, but none of my fiends.
How does this lawyer thing work?
Any tips? They told me my sis had to be on drugs for a month! I feel so bad. Do the drugs start 2 weeks before her period or when her period starts?
Thank you for your help! B-

[B74]

Oh, he was in that room already! I do not want even repeat the names of those movies he told me. he had to in there for IVF! He said he did want to touch anything in that room! LOL. You have to still keep your humor!
We will BOTH be preggers before we know it!

[mhv]

ha ha!  i know, since we used a donor, I went in the room with him.  Very interesting!  But yep, there are so many thing about this that takes the "fun" out of concieving.  But we have to do them right?  They did ICSI on our embies.  We have 11 frosties left.  We had 19 to start with.  I just pray that this time works!  I am soooo ready to be a mom!!!
Oh, and since I knew my donor.... there is one part they have to do where they answer about 700 questions to make sure they are sane I guess, lol.... She said some of the questions were like..... 1.do you like flowers?, 2.do you like to paint flowers?, 3.do you want to plant flowers? and even odder questions... I went and waited on her while she took it, it took her about 1 or a little longer to take. She texted me a couple of the questions while she was in there... pretty funny!
We didn't have to use a lawyer, but we sure had to sign a lot of paperwork!  Maybe laws from state to state are different.   It is truly a wonderful thing this ladies do for us!   Amazing and selfless!!!!    

[mysty2001]

How about adopting embryos!  You would be doing a good deed and saving money.  Also, no need for long explanations about the aunt momm later in life!

[Mariana101]

I found my donor at an agency and the lawyers just need to talk to me, fax/email me things and that's it. They have done those fertility/egg donor documents many times. My egg donor is also using them so it's easy. My agency recommended them to me and I saw them once in an RESOLVE forum talking about the egg donor process and what to expect. It was a long day seminar explaining everything so I know what is coming and the steps I need to do. My doctor is also very helpful and the fertility clinic has a coordinator just for egg donor IVF. It should be ok, it just takes about four months to finaly get your BFP:) I hope:). The lady at the egg donor agency is a sweetheart and really helpful as well.

Wish youi luck to all of you!!!!!

[B74]

Hi: i understand what you are saying and i think that is a great option. But adopting an embryo, you still have to explain and I think it is the same, but with my sister, the baby will have similar genes as me. I think it up to parent to share or not share the background to the child down the road and we would want to explain to he or she where they came from, gene wise.
I am lucky to  have a sister that will do that and it a cheaper than me buying an eggs but not as inexpensive as adopting an embryo.
I think its great that we all have these options!
Good luck to everybody.

[Mariana101]

I know some people do embryo adoption but my RE thought it was better to do egg donor (at least your hubby is the father) since the embryo adoption are frozen eggs that the person did not use for maybe some reason (quality, etc). However, you can get a good embryo to adopt and some women in this forum have twin babies that way!!! It is a matter of luck. At the end we all want the same thing: a child to hold and love !!!!

[lynda544]

I used an egg donor due to my age. Taylor is 18 months old now and she is such a joy. I too would be happy to answer any questions. I have two biological boys also and I can safely safe my love/connection for her is just as strong.

[Mariana101]

Did it work the first time? How many eggs did you transfer? Im very curious!!!

[B74]

I agree too, and at least my husbee will be the father, and that is nice thing. We would like to have that if possible, but if this does not work regular adoption is still a possible thing.
Our apts is in the AM and my sister gets tested, wish us luck!! Update you all soon.
B-

[mhv]

Good luck today!  I'm sure everything will work out : )    BFP... Here you come : )

[Mybabypooh]

Hi, I was going to use my sister as a donor but she got pregnant..LOL.. I moved on to an unknown donor. I am now 23 week preggo and can't wait to meet my little girl!

[lynda544]

I got pregnant after the first try. I was very lucky. They transfered 2. I initially was pregnant with triplets (1 embryo split), but only 1 heartbeat developed. I picked a donor that looks a lot like me. Very easy pregnancy. Taylor is very healthy, active and the joy of our lives.

[mhv]

Thanks for sharing!  : )   We LOVE to hear success stories!  I helps us all hold on the the fact that we will become pregnant someday soon!

[B74]

Great news Mariana.
My sister's tests will be back in two weeks, so if everything is good we can start in April or  May. We will see, fingers crossed.
The social worker talked to all four of us. He said we had everything is in order.

Mariana:
I thought it was weird that they said they would only transfer two eggs from my sister too. She is 31.
He said the likely hood of more than only baby is high, but I thought, ok, I have been over so much, so why would not they put in more, so increase my chances, but he said no.
The % is like 60ish for getting preggers and like 55ish for live birth. I guess that is still good...
Going for a work trip for a week. Catch up with you all when I return.
Good luck to all the mommies to be out there... I will be thinking of you all.
Thanks for letting me vent on here, means a great deal.
Take care.
B-

[B74]

I meant to type great news Lynda, sorry Mariana. BUT I know you will have great news soon!
B-

[mhv]

I am so happy that everything is a go!  I knew it would be! : 0 )   Let your success begin!!!!

[Mariana101]

Your doctor is right about not transfering more than 2 eggs. Those eggs are GOOD so the likelyhood of implantation is very high!!! Have faith. They will do two for me as well.

Have a good trip:)

Mariana

[B74]

Hi Everybody:
My sister was approved. I start meds this week and my sister starts meds in 2 weeks.
I hope everything goes well and she produces some good eggs and they take.
Good luck to everybody!
B-

[Kricket212]

So excited for you.
Mariana how are things goign for you?

[Mariana101]

AWESOME!!!
Im just waiting and waiting! OMG!!! finishing with the lawyer next week and then God knows what!! It takes time. I think by June or July I will have the transfer. Thanks for asking Kricket:)

[trying2conceive]

Is it necessary to get a lawyer when getting egg or sperm donor?

It's been a few months since I've last been on here. I thought not having to go through any treatments and not being on this site would alleviate some pain and emptiness. It only keeps getting harder. My DH and I have also considered adoption. Unfortunately, we were turned away from the first meeting we showed up to due to maximum capacity...un-friggin'-believable!!!

[mhv]

Good luck in your journey.  I, too, am on the verdge of giving up, but hoping a IVF refund program is an answer (100% refundable with donor eggs).  This has to be the toughest thing I have ever had to face.  I keep thinking I can walk away...but the hole in my heart is just toooo big!

It depends on if you go through a the RE clinic or an embryo agency if you need a lawyer or not.  Some RE's have their own donor bank for embryos.  I'm not sure on the sperm donation.. I used a friend as my donor the first time, didn't need a lawyer.  The new clinic I'm looking at has a egg donor program, so won't need one for them either.  But, if we decide to go to a Embryo Center, then we would need one.

Again... good luck to you, if you need to talk.... drop me a message!  

[B74]

Trying: I think most states do not need a lawyer for a sperm donor we did not use a sperm donor, but I think that is the case. It depends on you state.
My insurance covered nothing. I basicly worked for free last year and this year again my whole salary will go to the donor cycle and the IVF we did in Feb of this year.
Good luck and let me know if you have anymore questions. My sis starts meds tonight.

Mariana: Great news, I know a long process. Longest month of our lives.
Keep us updated

[Kricket212]

What does maximum capcity mean?  The adoption agency is already full with people trying to adopt??

[mhv]

That's awesome news that your sister is starting your meds!  I am going to work for free this year too! : )   Yippee!  But, it will be worth it if we get our babies right?