This might be a touchy question...

[smmast]

This question may open Pandora' s box, but i am confident we can all discuss this in a respectful mature manner. With that said we me with the RE yesterday and he is advising us to consider IVF at this point. We both seem to have some hesitation because of the concept of frozen embryos. Our concern is what do you do with frozen embryos that you don't want to use. It raises a lot of moral and ethical dilemas for us and unfortunately we may have a difference of opinion. I don't want this to become a divide in our relationship, but i am not convinced that i am against the idea of IVF.
Sorry to unload all of this , but i knew you would all listen with open ears and hearts.

[berecca623]

I am not sure what I would do in your situation and although donation sounds like an honourable and generous alternative I am not sure could have someone raise my children, as that's how I would think of them. All of the genetic material would be mine and my husband's. Also what happens if a child finds out and wants to meet you?  How do you explain it?  I would find it way too hard knowing they are out there but congratulate anyone can do it. That's my thoughts anyway

[kamil119]

I actually gave it a lot of thought, I would not be able to get rid of them, and donating is out of the question. I read that some IVF clinics do a transfer of frozen embryos while a woman cannot get pregnant so they naturally dissolve in your body and are not discarded by a doctor. I thought that was a good solution and certainly something that I would like to if I were placed in that situation. I think I read about it in Newsweek, so you can google it if you are interested
good  luck

[Jennie1211]

I should have added, assuming we even CAN transfer them to someone else at my age....a RE might not even want them, but they are all very high quality. If we can't, we'll definitely donate them to research.

[Jennie1211]

My husband and I have had long conversations about this and we have decided that if everything goes smoothly with this pregnancy, we will definitely donate our remaining embryos to another couple since we have both decided to only have one child (will probably wait at least a year to do so just to be sure.) Part of me is torn about this because it would be kind of weird to know your DNA is out there, but after reading so many devastating stories about women who desperately want children but just can't conceive for whatever reason, my heart absolutely goes out to them, and I feel it is the right thing for us to do. In fact, I actually already have a woman in mind that I met online a while back and have become friendly with that I know desperately wants to have a child but can't. If by the time we are ready to donate she and her husband still want them, I will likely transfer them over, but I don't think I could ever have a friendship with her afterwards--that would just be too hard for me.

[babyhope40527]

This is just my opinion. If I have frozies, I would either donate them or give them for some research or for any purpose. I did sign the consent papers in my last cycle, however i never had any frozies at all even for myself as the cycle failed. so well, things go in their own way. :(

[withlove777]

We're still looking for embryos (as we prefer more of a semi-open one in case any children ever desire to learn more about their heritage, that the option is open to them).  We've found, unfortunately, that most RE's programs are anonymous donations.  However, I wanted to say:

I just wanted to comment about all of you that are considering donating your embryos to those of us still in this journey of becoming parents.  It's amazing to see the generosity and love from those that know the desire to have children and can't and wanting to help others.  I just want to say thank you to all of you.  

[empty]

I live in Australia and we had to make the decision  before i even undergo treatment. We decided to donate (eventually) as we are a mixed race couple and hope that some couple will get the exact match!

[kele1129]

We had the same thoughts when we started IVF. We only have 2 frozen and most likely will end up using them ourselves but if not we hope to donate them, knowing the pain of infertility is a strong drive.

[SoCalTricia]

That's a huge decision! I'm not sure how I would feel were I faced with the actual decision, because at this point - for ME - it's just a hypothetical. But my knee-jerk reaction would be that I don't want someone else raising MY "genetic material" for lack of a better description. But then that leaves the question of what to do with the embryos...and, for that, I would be stuck just like you are. I wouldn't have the issue this them being "babies" already. I realize everyone feels differently about that - but to ME, they aren't babies yet. At least until there is a heartbeat I don't think of them as babies. So, again...I don't know. I would probably lean toward either storing them several years longer just in case I wanted another, then having them destroyed. I'm very, very sorry if this offends anyone! I understand this is a sensitive issue and we all have different feelings about it...

Tricia

[eternidad200]

Depending on your age you might qualify for embryos donation to someone who need it, but if you are more than 30 or you or your husband have any type of genetic or illness like hepatitis your embryos don't qualify for donation.
My hubby and I faced that decition 3 years ago when we first started IVF, had 2 IVF, the first one we had 20 frozen embryos used them all and no pregnancy this second IVF, had 15 frozen for the last transfer thawed the last 4 embryos and only one made it to pregnancy.

Because we did not qualitfy to donate our embryos we always said that if we had any unused one and we did not want to use them we will donated to research o they can continue finding new ways to help out women like us who have fertility problems.

Hope I am not insulting anyone's feelings.

[mysty2001]

Please consider adopting frozen embryos
YOU ARE SOOOOO  right - going IVF route does create often unwanted discarded children and that is just not fair
use the ones that are waiting for two great parents
I did and am thrilled
I hope you will consider embryo adoption - follow your conscience!! (would you want to have that guilt if you created 18 babies and they were sitting in frozen wasteland forever?)

[tina1111]

I am about to have a transfer of donated embryos. If it weren't for someone else's generosity, Tim and I wouldn't be able to try any more. Donation is a great option. There are many of us that, that is the only way possible.  If your dr/clinic isn't able to handle the donation, there are many online resourses that will pay for the shipping and storage until an appropriate match can be made :)

[smmast]

I didn't even realize that was an option. I think that would be a great alternative. Thank you so much!! I hope my partner will see it that way.

[blessedmomof3]

I agree w/ lori0615. My DH and I have discussed it alot and finaly decided that we would donate what is left after we have had all the kdis we want. There are people out there that are suffering just like us and this can help their dreams of becoming a parent come true. I can't think of a greater gift.

[lori0615]

what about donating them to someone who wants to have a baby too? But I don't know much about this. Just my thought.

[babyprayers]

I hear you, I have frozen embies and my RE holds them for 2 years, I have just passed the one year mark,I have no idea at this point what I am going to do, I think about it all the time, because it is a huge ethical and moral dilemma, I cannot help you with this one as I really dont know what I am going to do myself,, good luck to you though.  ,