Use of donor eggs for IVF - any regrets?

I realize this would be a tough question for anyone to answer, but I'm looking to find out if anyone that did conceive using donor eggs had regrets about it.  I'm 40, we have been trying for a few years, working with our specialist for the last 8 months or so, and about to go the way of IVF.  We are both pretty normal but all else has failed so far.  Funds are limited (not covered by insurance), so we are weighing the low-chances of using IFV with my eggs, or going right to a donor since chances are so much greater.

I'm torn on what I expect to be a few failed cycles using my own and who knows what - vs. the much better chance we would have with donor eggs.  I've read lots of wonderful stories of women who are so glad they used donor eggs and it's such a blessing - but I'm worried that I won't feel that way... so I know this is difficult, but has anyone regretted their decision, or if wrestled with it, how did things turn out?  I can't seem to find this side of the story.  Thanks.

[Maya39]

Hi Flamanda,

I know exactly how you feel because I had been there myself. I had a high FSH so I did not qualify for any of the share program. I'm 39 years old and had never ever been able to conceive in the past 9 years I had been trying to. I personally wanted to use an egg donor from the beginning but my husband wanted us to try at least once without a donor. We did an IVF with my own eggs, produced 8 and only 3 survived to be transferred, but all died in the womb. It is very devastating when that happens because no matter what you tell yourself, you still hope for good news. The next IVF I decided that I would not listen to anyone and do it with a donor. I even changed REs because my old RE had no understanding that I was operating with limited funds and hence could not do an unlimited number of IVFs. The new RE was very matter-of-fact and that was the reason I chose him. He told me that I had 0 to 2% chance of conceiving with my eggs and 70% chance of success with a donor. It took a few months to choose a donor and get matched. We did the transfer on August 4th and the first sono revealed that I had pregnant with twins. Both embryos that were transferred got implanted. I'm 12 weeks now and preparing for motherhood. I am very happy with my decision. The donor actually was 22 years old, is even prettier than me and has a better medical history than mine. My husband and I decided to keep our use of donor eggs just between us so no one in our family knows. Do I feel that these are not my genetic babies? I don't even think about it. I wanted to adopt so this is even better because you don't have to deal with any red tapes or outside agencies. Only you can make this decision, and I sincerely wish you the best. I personally regret the money we wasted on the first IVF attempt. I could have used that 18K towards purchasing a new nursery right now,

Hope this helps.