WORST DAY OF MY LIFE . . . THIRD TIME

[stefanie1976]

So I have been posting on here how ecstatic I was in getting a positivve beta a few weeks ago.  Last week I did an ultrasound that showed my sac and yolk.  All I have heard since the beginning of my IVF is that everything looks great.  34 eggs, 22 fertilized, 6 made it to blastos.  All blastos frozen for a month while I recover from ovarian hyperstimulation.  Implant done on June 9 - and June 23 - POSITIVE.  

So yesterday, I was basically sleeping all day long (thinking it was another symptom of pregnancy.  Well at 1:20 p.m. today, I got a sharp pain in my lower pelvic region - on the left side.  I run to the bathroom, thinking it was gas.  Realizing it wasnt gas, I call my doctor.  There was no blood.  He said if I see blood to call him.  The SECOND I hand up the phone with him - BOOM - river of blood.  I have miscarried twice before - but this time it is so painful that I had to take a high dose pain killer.  

I am sooooooo upset, mad, disappointed, disgusted.  

I just want to know WHY!!!!

[stefanie1976]

THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH.  You ladies are the finest I have ever come across.  I have kept you all in my prayers to be granted everything you want in life.

LOVE YA GIRLS!!!!

[A_Muse4u]

I'm so glad that you're a little bit better.  We're praying you get alot better, A.S.A.P.  You don't cease to amaze us w/your strength and courage.  Rest and think positive.  Don't lose the faith,  Treat yourself, and baby, like a fine piece of crystal.  Don't break anything, anymore.  Sheesh!  That must've been scaRRRy!!!  I know that would/ve scared the cRRRap outta me.  Man-o-man!  We will continue to pray for your healing, again, also.  Be more careful, this time.  I know it's not your fault, what you went through, but we're praying that neither you nor anyone else scares us like this again.  Whew!  What a horrible ordeal.  I'm at peace knowing you both are doing better.  May God continue to bless us all, always, Amen.  O:-)  

And, like SarahKateP said:  ~~~STICKY~~~STICKY~~~STICKY~~~BABY~~~GLUE~~~2U2 & EVERYONE ON HERE

***SSBD2YA2***  

[SarahKateP]

Stefanie hun omg I am so sorry you have gone through this but you have no idea how happy I was to read down and see that a scan revealed baby was okay!!!! I have just finished posting on our FET thread congratulating you and then I saw this!! Hun huge ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))) and **********baby glue*********** I am thinking of you so so much and hope that all will now be okay, you deserve this so much, hang in there, stay strong and REST REST REST!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lots of Love,

SarahKate xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[40smama]

Wow, what a rollercoaster!  When I just now read your initial post, I was thinking it might be a clot of some kind associated w/the placenta instead of a m/c - isn't that funny?  Anyway, glad to read that you've got hope -hang in there! - jen

[ilvi8587]

Seriously you have to be strong to do this.... its so hard I can only imagine. My prayers are with you and just be strong and keep hope alive

[luvkayln]

Awesome news! :) We'll all definately still be praying for you, and just continue to take it easy! You are blessed!! :)

[rdh1981]

Wow, what great news!! Seeing the hb is huge!!!! Hopefully the bedrest will do the trick and the rest of your pregnancy will be very boring!!!!  

Good luck and stay positive!

[butterflybabies]

Glad to hear you were able to see and hear a heart beat. I will keep you in my prayers!
Love,
Lily

[stefanie1976]

I am soooo thankful for everyone on this website.  Here is my update.  Last night I went crazy in pain.  Physical pain.  I thought someone was ripping up my insides.  I have had two miscarriages before and they felt nothing more than just a bad period.  Last night was TORTURE.  THis morning I went to my doctor and he did an internal and much to my suprise, the sac is there.  The yolk is there - and for the first time - the heartbeat was there.  I even got a chance to hear the heartbeat for the first time.  So mentally, I am on a roller coaster.  I went in there thinking I miscarried.  Turns out, the placenta detached a little because of a huge blood clot that is on the sac.  I am on bed rest in hopes that this clots disappears.  I am not out of the woods yet, but I am still hanging in there.

I love all of you guys for praying for me and being soooo supportive.  It is soooooo touching knowing that total strangers can feel like family.  I wish you ALL the best!!!

[butterflybabies]

I am so sorry to hear your going thru this! It is so unfair! try to stay stong! Im here if you need to chat/vent!
(((Hugs)))
Lily

[Cill190]

I was so sad to read about your news. I can totally relate, I just recently had two miscarriages, back-to-back. The first pregnancy was March 22, I lost twins. One normal cycle and then pregnant again. Unfortunatlty I lost that pregnancy also: May 31. No cycle for June and today July 6 I started AF. Emotionally and physically it's extermely difficult. I also had a hard time with the twin pregnancy, it was SO BAD I was in the ER twice. Hang in there, as I am also, we will get there. I try to stay positive as much as I can and leave the rest to God. Please know that your in my thoughts, I can totally relate!

[turtle4]

Oh no, so so sorry to hear that. Hugs to you
Steff

[mamom15]

I am so sorry my dear.  I just went through a negative IVF.  I have cried all week, but I know there is nothing I can do but keep trying.  So as A-Muse said, chin up.  You are strong and I am sure you will be lucky next time.  I am praying fo ryou

[rghkah38]

I am so sorry!!!!  

[A_Muse4u]

Oh, stefanie1976.  I cannot express the sadness my heart feels after reading your post.  All I know is that no amount of worrying will make this better.  The best I can tell you, to try and make you feel better sooner, is to take care of yourself.  Think positive.  Have faith in everything you do.  Your time will come when the time is right.  The main thing is that you are trying.  If you didn't try, it'd be the same as sitting on your rump doing nothing about something that's near and dear to your heart.  Keep your chin up and your head in the heavens and all will be alright sooner than you know it.  Remember . . . .soon is not a long time.  I will pray for you to heal internally and externally w/God speed.  Don't give up on yourself, stefanie1976.  Stay strong and eat lots of iron-filled nutrients.  

[Daisy012]

i am so sorry to hear you went through this, hang in there and never loose hope one day things will be right. trust and keep your faith in God.

[luvkayln]

I too  am so sorry to hear this! :( I've had a m/c and a stillborn, so I KNOW your pain, trust me! We tried for 10 months after losing our daughter, and we're currently 15 weeks pregnant! Just be strong, as strong as you can, and have faith that it WILL happen for you! I also have a friend who had m/c after m/c, I think she had a total of 6 in a row! And guess what? She's 7 months pregnant now with a little girl! I know it's hard to think about that, b/c I know you feel that if just won't happen. I've been there, I know exactly how you feel. I honestly just put all my faith in God after losing our daughter, put it all in his hands and knew it would happen when the time was right. I'm not saying you'll cope the same way, you'll find a way to cope and find faith and become hopeful again. It just takes time, and lots of tears to get there! Another thing that really got me through the pain was all the wonderful ladies on this website! I lost my daughter in Dec 2007, and found this website 3 months later, and fell in love with the support and encouragement! I'm glad you've found it and are here too, because these wonderful ladies will help you, as you know! I'll pray for you! Take time to heal and grieve, although you will never fully heal from each loss. You'll always have that special place in your heart where they are. *HUGS*

[ladybug82]

oh geese words cant  describe how sorry we are for your loss i had a m/c and it hurts so much NOT PHYSICALLY but mentally i know exactly how you are feeling ..i am sending you hugs from south texas and i hope you stay Positive "i know its hard right now" but dont give up ... we will soon have our babies in our arms ... much hugs *:O) erika  your will be in my prayers ....

[Maredy]

I don't know how it feels to have a MC....but if I ever did, I would feel like you do now.....All I can tell you is to be strong..I know it's easier said than done....but if you want to keep TTC...You must continue to remain hopeful and not loose faith....Take care and don't give up...I will keep you in my prayers.

[mama1981]

OMG!!!! I am so sorry to hear this...Words cannot even express what I am feeling for you right now.  I can only imagine what you may be going thru...It is normal to feel the way you are feeling right now...I can't even add anything else except, please keep the faith.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this trying time.

marline