Why oh Why can't i get pregnant?

[LisaBower]

I haven’t any advice to give, but some would be nice to receive.

We have been trying for a baby for 8 months and today I got my dreaded period (or that is what I have now seen it become). Not pregnant again!

After spending years trying to prevent a pregnancy and hoping to see the dreaded period every 28 days, now it has become the curse, or the reminder that I have failed again.

That's what it does feel like - that I have failed to conceive.

I feel that this isn’t a topic that I feel that I can talk to my mum about (she was pregnant with me 3 months after coming off the pill) or the mother-in-law or even by best friend.

My husband is trying his best - bless him to comfort me. But it I feel it difficult to talk to him about it. I know it shouldn’t and he could be upset also (or worried) that it isn’t happening.

It just doesn’t seem fair that there is people who can get pregnant without trying, that come out with a line of "I don’t know how it happened" after they have already had 4 children. (Family member).

I feel a little jealous - is this wrong of me? I feel that I am letting my husband down - as he would make a great father. Comments from family members - grandchildren, great grandchildren

I am 30 years old and feel time slipping away that I am going to be an old mum. Everyone seems to be having a baby except me!

I take temperatures each morning, count days, eat right, exercise more and stopped drinking 8 months ago!. What more can I do?

Am I going mad?

[tohardtoget]

Also forgot to say I'm always tired

[tohardtoget]

I need help I have been trying for two months to get pregnant and haven't yet but my last period was weird it was light spoty and lasted 3 days instead of five i was to start my period two maybe three days ago I had a bubbley feeling in my stunach ive been nauseous for a few days then it goes away and small cramping and tender boobs I had taken a test but it came back negitive could I be pregnant? Or is my body making me think I am??? Help please..... concerned 19yr old

[tohardtoget]

I need help I have been trying for two months to get pregnant and haven't yet but my last period was weird it was light spoty and lasted 3 days instead of five i was to start my period two maybe three days ago I had a bubbley feeling in my stunach ive been nauseous for a few days then it goes away and small cramping and tender boobs I had taken a test but it came back negitive could I be pregnant? Or is my body making me think I am??? Help please..... concerned 19yr old

[candie429]

I think that you will find that you are in good company here.  So many women are in the same situation as you and I am one of them.  We have been TTC for over 2 years now, all of our tests have come back OK, I take my temps and use ovulation predictor kits to get the timing right, and still nothing.  I have even tried Clomid and Femara to up my chances and that didn't work either.  It can be extremely difficult and frustrating.  Like you said, you dream of having a family and don't expect it to take so long to happen.  I too have felt bad for my husband because he would make a great father and I know we have a lot of love to give a child.  It's also hard to see others living out your dream and hear the comments from your family and friends.  We haven't told many people about our situation because no one truly understands.  Like the others said, if you haven't yet, see your OBGYN and get some preliminary tests done and have your husband get a semen analysis.  If you have any more questions, someone here can definitely help.  Take care and try not to lose hope.  Good luck to you!

[meeshy9]

I know exactly how you feel, I'm sure everyone here feels that way on a regular (monthly!) basis and it is completely normal.  I am lucky in that I do already have a daughter, but after over a year (and one mc) have been unable to have another.  Many of my friends have gone through secondary infertitility and I am now the last one who hasn't gotten pg.  In fact, I am the last one by far - the last one before me will be delivering in Oct!  You are right - it is not fair, and it does not make sense.I agree with KEL9611 - go to the doc as soon as you can, even if it is just your OBGYN.  I went to see an RE 9 months after having a mc and there was never any mention that I should have waited until 12 months.  Yes, some docs won't see you until then, and some insurances won't cover you until then, but you never know until you start calling!  If one says no, try another.  Especially since it can take some time before you actually get in to see one - one doctor I called had a 2 month wait list.  I actually kick myself for not doing something sooner because everyone told me to wait 12 months.  There are all sorts of things going on inside your body that affect your fertililty but have no outward signs on your "health".  Best of luck to you!

[Daslicht]

ok so it sounds like you're in pretty good general health and most importantly your periods are regular. Do you have good quality ewcm? is your husband ok in the fertile department? If yes then the basics are pretty much covered. It might just take a little longer for you so wait until a year and then you should go in for further testing.

[tina1111]

Until you try for 12 consecutive months (or tell the dr that) they are likely not to investigate. You are not technically considered infertile until the 12 month mark. Insurances that do pay for infertility issues do not usually pay until that time either.

Do you show a clear thermal shift on your charts? Are you bding on that day and the day b4?  How long have you been temping?

[KEL9611]

Funny, I've been asking myself the same questions every day so yes, you are in very good company.  I am incredibly jealous of every pregnant woman I see or any mom walking with an infant.  My only suggesstion would be to go a doctor now.  I was told to wait 12 months but after 6-months of trying and no LH surge detected I called my doctor.  She had me come in and gave me a clomid challenge test.  I found out that my FSH levels indicate POF (premature ovarian failure) so she sent me to a RE immediately.  If I do have POF (still waiting for my period so I can go for tests) then time is def my enemy and I'm so glad I didn't wait another 6-months to call my doctor.  I'm not telling this to scare you because chances are you are fine (I have talked to several women who took over a year to concieve).  I just would reccomend you request elementary tests from your OBGYN since they are so easy and may be able to save you some time and if not, at least put your mind at ease.  Similar to you I just turned 30, eat healthy, run over 5 miles per day, don't smoke or drink and I get my periods regularly (except for this month of course)

[gokuangel]

Nope you aint going mad all us girls here TTC  are going through the exact same feelings that you are!! I know the curse feeling my AF came this month and im still trying not to be so hurt about it!! They do say it takes up to 1 yr to become prego so if its been 8 months do the 12 and then get a dr straight away and get started with the tests to see what could be wrong!! Its been way longer than that for me but i just havent been able to afford a dr yet! If you need to vent all us are here to listen!! and try not to pay attention to family members getting prego i know its hard but try to ignore!! i have a 21 yr SIL who had the 2nd baby at 19 and my dh's lil cousin is 16 and fixing to pop!!!

[jmh2005]

I definitely understand. I am 22 years old. Been married going on three years. Want nothing more than a child. We concieved after six months of trying 3 times. 2 ended is miscarriages and the other was an ectopic. After that I was over it and decided to see an RE. Got on clomid two cycles ago, nothing major wrong just a blocked tube so he has to try and get me ovulating on the right side. Did this time and we are pretty sure we are pregerrs after 3 BFP's, going to test tomorrow to make sure. It is normal to be jealous of family and friends though. I swear my friends around me are all pregnant, except me. But keeping my fingers crossed this time.