Will my doctor know that i had an abortion?

[ashlynn85]

I had an abortion about a year ago, but dont want my fiancee to know, we are trying to get pregnant now, and are going to see a doctor about our fertility. Will my doctor know that i had an abortion?

[tricia448]

hi ashlynn,
i dont think i read your post correctly....i thought you had gotten pregnant with another guys baby in the past and had an abortion...i didnt realize it was your fiances...and just didnt tell him...eihter way i still feel the same that it is your business....and you do what you feel is in your heart....but since it was your fiances baby....it might make you feel better...to let him in on it so you can get closure and not have to worry every time you go to the doctor, ...if that question will come up. either way...stay strong ...and make peace with either decision! good luck!

[mel382738]

One more thing- when you go to your Dr or RE-you will have to fill out that "new patient" form, and the form does ask history of pregnancies...........However, due to Dr/patient confidentiality-the dr cannot legally ask you anything that is in your chart while other people are in the room. Meaning-if the Dr blurts out "I see you had an abortion last year" while you fiance is in the room- you can sue his A**!!!!!!!

[Tanker Chic]

I wouldn't think they would be able to see it on the uterus but maybe the cervix??  Not sure, just throwing the idea out there.  

I agree with Tricia that your past is the past and no ones business but your own, but if you don't share your past sometimes it can come back to bite you, or you have to live in fear of it.  If he really loves you, it shouldn't matter.  

Even if the dr can tell that you have had an abortion, if you say you haven't the dr probably won't call you out infront of you fiance, but as someone else mentioned, you will asked that question alot.  I see three dr's (fertility specialist, ob/gyn, and another dr. Not sure what his title is but he does all the ultra sounds).. anyway everyone of them have asked how many pregnancies I have had, how many live births, m/c, ectopics and abortions.  

[tricia448]

if you dont want your fiance to know...that is your choice and no one elses...it was a part of your life before him...and if you dont want to share that with him...you have every right not to tell him. on the other hand you definately have to share that wiht your doctor. maybe scheduke an appointment alone before the both of you go in together. best of luck!

[poupoune26]

oh..and one more thing..  I don't think your doctor will know if you don't tell him. The scars are in the uterus..where your doctor will NOT look. There's nothing apparent in the vagina..

[poupoune26]

Hi!  I know how you feel, I had not only 1..but 3 abortions when I was younger ..the last one was 6 years ago. I don't think it's harder to get pregnant when you've had the abortion but it IS important for your doctor to know because they can treat you better when they know everything.  

I am now 13w4d pregnant and my doctor told me that I would be a higher risk of miscarriage because of those abortions. They may decide to follow your pregnancy more closely..which is a good thing. One thing you can do is talk to your doctor alone and tell him that you don't want your dh knowing about the past. Just be careful because you're gonna get asked a lot of times whether this is your first pregnancy or not.  I would strongly advise that you don't lie to your doctor.  

Good luck  :)

[BabyBlue07]

is the pregnancy from your finance now?  or from another man?  If from your fiance and you aborted without he knowing it, i don't know how he take it.  There always an option for you beside abortion.  

Dr. do know if you have history of abortion.  the scar in your uterus still be there. The thing i heard it's really to conceive if you have an abortion due to damage your uterus lining.  

I agree with Tanker Chic and LJ307.  at least you get a weight off your shoulder.

good luck

[Tanker Chic]

I would come clean if I were you.  Better to be honest than worry that your secret may come out one day.  

[kellym]

I think there will be a little bit of scar tissue like a D&C procedure. If you do not want your finace to know, I would suggest go to the first appt yourself and explain your views.

[sweetdrda]

I dont know if he can tell or not but I highly recommend that if you are trying to get pregnant and may have fertility issues you should let your dr. know.  You can always pull dr. aside and let them know it is part of your history that you want them to know but would not want disclosed to your financee.  That is your right!

[ashlynn85]

because i was pregnant when we first got together and didnt think i was ready for a baby.

[LJ307]

Yes, your dr will and should know.  I think the bigger question is why are you unable to share this important part of your life with your fiance?  You really need to come clean to your fiance and trust him to be there for you.  Trust me it will bring you closer and he'll appreciate your being honest with him.  Lies always come out eventually and you'll find you are much happier and have a much better relationship if you share the valuable information with your fiance and give him the opportunity to put his love into action by being there for you when you truly need him.