2010 - 2 IVF's with own eggs both implanted and had chemical miscarriage. Last month proceeded to DE cycle and failed completely. I respond very well to meds, all hormone levels are normal through process. I am 43, husband 48 we are both in good health. Are there many failed DE cycles???
Hi, I'm sorry you didn't succeed. My dh and I actually had a failed cycle(s) with a known donor. We found out through 2 other RE's that the 1st RE had actually not retreived the eggs soon enough, making them much weaker. So, yep, it happens. : (
Thank you for responding to me and I am sorry to hear that you also had a failed cycle. My question to you is : are you still trying with another doctor and another donor?
And what is your age? I so much appreciate you sharing this with me!
It sounds like to me that these donor eggs are not miracle eggs. Although the chances of getting pregnant are higher......30% to 40% are not successful.
Was the successful cycle a fresh one or frozen? How many did you transfer? and how old are you. Thank you for sharing. All this info is precious to me, I don't have anyone to share this with but my DH.
I did a fresh 2 DE transfer that failed and we have 7 frozen.
No prob! : ) We are still plugging away : ) We are actually getting ready to use donor embryos. (some wonderful person on here donated them to us, you can read my journal called "our next step" to get the full scoop :)
You can't give up. It's just not an option.
We are hoping to do a transfer by the end of June
Thank you for your thoughts! Again I am 43 and did a fresh donor egg cycle with great eggs, transfered 2 embryos. We did a single cycle paid 30K .......and no success.
We did not expect this, we really thought these we're miracle eggs. Considering I got pregnant last year with 2 ivf"s, got pregnant both times but had chemical miscarriage.
We have 7 frozen embryos.
What should we do? I just feel hopeless.
I am 40 and I had a failed donor cycle last Jan just before I turned 40.
We transferred 3 eggs (looked good) but we have none to freeze out of the 13 eggs retrieved from the donor.
The doctor blamed my DH's sperm for the failure so he has taken some meds and we are having another cycle in June (different donor).
There are no guarantees it seems but we are going to go through another cycle hoping for a different result. I never got pregnant in my life before and I have a big fibroid in my uterus but the doctor does not recommend surgery for it.
hello, and thanks for your input. We don't have a sperm issue. As a matter of fact I got pregnant last year with my own eggs and husband's sperm, both times we tried and had chemical miscarriage. So donor eggs sounded very promising,because Dr. blamed quality of eggs which makes sense being that I am 43. Transfered 2 great eggs and .......nothing not even a positive test. The donor is in great health and 23yrs old. We have 7 eggs frozen. I just still cannot believe it. There are no guarantees. I am so worried for next time with frozen eggs.
How successful have others been with frozen cycles? I am afraid to ask. Can someone shed some light on this.
I actually got preggers on my first FET, but unfortunately m/c'd. BUT, I can tell you, tons of ladies on here have had successful FETs! Don't give up! This is going to work for you! You have great strong frozen embies waiting on you : ) You will be successful! No doubts!!!
I got pregnant with twins from a fresh DE cycle. Gave birth prematurely and they did not survive (this is the biggest risk factor with twins, which is why I can't understand why so many people wish for them). We had 4 frozen embies from that same cycle. Transferred 2 and had a chemical pregnancy. Transferred the last 2, and I am sitting here now with my 5 month old daughter. She is the best gift in the world and worth every difficult moment. Stick with it. Oh--and I am 42 now.
Thank you soooooo much!! You can't imagine what comfort this gives me.
I am sorry to hear that it had to take so many times but you have now a beautiful daughter!
I have to stick with it and hopefully there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I will keep everyone posted. Please, please stay in touch.
Hi I live in North Africa so I went to India to get IVF with donor eggs. I transferred 6 2-day embryos. The egg donor was 23 years old and I thought I had a great chance of success,but it failed.This has just happened and i feel devastated not only from this traumatic even but also for all the money spent. Please tell me there is light at the end of the tunnel,I am feeling so depressed because of this as I thought I would have a great chance of being pregnant.BTW I've just turned 48.
I have now failed two IVF's with donor eggs from the best clinic in the country, CCRM. We have no more embryo's left and I am now faced with accepting I will never be a mother & never be pregnant. While I am appreciative that we had the opportunity to try, it is unbelievable to me that it didn't work, since the quickest assumption when our other three IVF's didn't work is because of the quality of my eggs. (Oh, add to that two IUI's) These embryo's were excellent quality too. And the clinic insisted we have surgery to correct the shape of my uterus. So if you are doing your math and calculating the whole deal, make sure you add the travel, rental car, hotel, and missed work.
Why don't we consider adoption you ask? (Which I can't believe anyone in our boats would be insensitive to ask that) Because I can't (our marriage can't) handle any more rejection and failure. I can't put my future in the hands of a 16 year old who may or may not pick us based on some obscure requirement in her mind. Or God forbid, may or may not decide to keep it at the last minute when we've thought FINALLY we are getting to be parents. NOPE, can't handle it. I would not consider myself a weak person by any means but sometimes our hearts and hopes can only take so much.
Sorry to go on, but it's fresh. Blood test was Saturday and I am still in a state of shock and waking up in the middle of the night to the truth and not able to get back to sleep. Thanks for listening and I am so sorry for all of your losses. Ain't fair is it?
I am sorry to hear about your situation. That really blows!! Did ccrm have any answers as to what happened?? You said you,had surgery to correct the shape of your uterus? What kind of surgery was that?
I hope you don't give up on your dream. I know how down you can get, I have been there. As you see from above. I hope you don't give up.
I once read an article that said that experiencing infertility is like being on an island. It seems everyone around you keeps catching the ferry called "motherhood" off the island, but you continue to be stuck on it. Those on the ferry are lucky and those who got to go on the ferry "by accident" or "after the first try" have no idea what it's like to be missing the boat every time. They ask questions like, "Have you thought of adoption?" or "Lots of people don't have kids, have you considered that?". They say things like, "Just relax and it will happen" or "just get drunk - it worked for us!" Not seeming to realize that they break our hearts a little more than they have been broken already by these insensitive responses to our situation.
We haven't done donor eggs yet, but we are considering it. We're just not sure we can go through it. We've been trying for 8 years to conceive. First we were told my husband had a sperm count of zero. After a painful biopsy, they found that his sperm were not "mature" and could not produce a child. He tried acupuncture for a year with no result. I was apparently "fine", so after tears and much soul searching, we decided to try a donor sperm. We did the home insemination program. No result. Then a few rounds of IUI. Nothing. Then, finally, IVF. I didn't respond very well to the meds, but the result was 3 "perfect" embryos. Fresh transfer of first two, nothing. FET = nothing. Saved up money, again to try one more time. Only produced 2 eggs this time and they both died and wouldn't fertilize. Doctor says my best option is using a donor egg (and, ofcourse, donor sperm).
Now the struggle is, after spending over $30,000 already, with NOTHING in our bank and our life savings totally gone, do we spend the next $20,000++ for another "MAYBE"? Can we go through this again?
I know nobody can answer this but us...but sometimes it helps to share the pain.
Sailing with you on the same boat here. 3 OWN egg cycles failed and 1 donor egg cycle failed recently. There are 2 embryos left, but am not sure of the success. It s a million dollar question why would a donor egg also fail?? when uterus and wall are fine.
Kellykira - well said island and infertility comparison, sometimes it does feel like i may remain on nobaby island forever.
Ladies, I swore I would be stranded on nobaby island forever, but I never gave up, and now have 3 month old twins. We ended up using donor embryos,and finally achieved our dreams. Please, don't give up!!!!
I know all to well what that island feels like. I know what it feels like to spend all that money and come away empty handed. That dreaded AF had come again. BUT I also know what it is like to find success. I went through everything starting from IUI then moved up to IVF then finally went the DE route. Had a total of 7 eggs take, transferred two and had one beautiful son.
You are the only ones that can make that choice whether or not to repeat that next step again, only you will know when you have had enough. My thoughts are with you but like mhv said don't give up. I would love to see everyone here achieve their dreams of having a family.
I read your comment and i fell like i am in your shoes. I did the first IVF using my own eggs and husband sperm. I was told that They were only abable to retrived 3 mature eggs. but when it fertilized, only two survived. But when they put it back in me, they didn't make it. I was told later that my eggs were poor quality due to my age. I was 39 1/2 back then. That i was going through premenopausal at 39 1/2. Cryed my eyes out for the next 2 to 3 months. Because we wanted a baby of our own so badly the clinic suggest using donor eggs. We thought about it for a long time and decided to use the donor eggs 3 months later. I was told that the donor eggs was doing very well. it was only three day into fertilization, the cell have divided into more than 8 cell division. They informed me that this donor have donated her eggs before and she have a very high pregnancy rate.But for some reason - it just doest work out for me. They just called me at 6:50pm to to tell me that it didnt't work on AGAIN! I thought that i would be ok if it doesn't work again. But here i am crying my eyes out since i got that call. I am so mad because it just not fair! My husband and i are 40 and 42. we are ready for children but cant seem to produce but the teenage pregnant kids are having babies like crazy! We are older yes but we are more patient and have a loving home for a baby! But it seems like we are being punished for waiting a bit longer to have a family.
Look at it this way. She was not suppose to be your donor. For whatever reason. It is not a matter of you are not suppose to be a mom, you are just suppose to be a mom using the "right" donor. I did 6 transfers before I reached success. And now, having these 2, I understand why. There is a country song God bless the broken road that led me straight to you. You WILL find the right donor, and you WILL be successful. There is another lady that is on her 4th donor, always getting 2 or 3 embies with the others, always a bfn, and she just got 10 blasts from this donor. Success for sure. It's hard to understand, and even harder to wait, but it will pay off!!!!!
Hi again ladies,
Reading all your stories.... Just got another IVF using donor eggs.the first ivf was negative,and the second one,just have tested the urine and got a big negative. doctor said that my uterus and embryos looked great but they were not looking good to me for some reason. The frustrating part is that from the six ladies having IVF on that day,four got chemical pregnancies even with twins. My b hcg is tomorrow but i know the result will be negative bc it is the same way it happened last time. I am still taking medication but i just feel so depressed about this,I truly feel sick to my stomach bc i feel like a total failure!!
Hello to all women brave enough to take this journey. I just want to say that no one is a failure when these things do not work. I just finished two cycles using Donor Eggs at a clinic in Cancun. We traveled there from Texas. We had such high hopes that this would be the miracle to get us pregnant. I am 45 and my husband 43. The clinic used ICSI and our Donor was 18 years old. The fresh cycle looked incredibly promising. Our doctor thought the embryos were perfect 5 day blast. We got a brief positive on the urine test and the blood test came out negative. For the second frozen attempt I did get pregnant for real but lost the pregnancy at almost 6 weeks. It was the first time I had every gone so long being pregnant. After the miscarriage I read and read. Here are some of the things I discovered and I do hope this helps some of you. Some of this you can source back to Dr. Scherr (an American fertility specialist with a blog).
1. The best age for your donor lies between the ages of 26-34 and if she is proven even better. We went for one of the younger donors thinking younger is better - really ignorant on my part and I wish I had known.
2. Around 1/2 of all eggs from young healthy women will be chromosomally damaged so don't assume all eggs are perfect. They are not! They refer to such eggs as "aneuploid."
3. I have untreated PCOS )polycystic ovarian syndrome. This is an insulin disorder that has a profound effect on getting pregnant and keeping the pregnancy. PCOS women have a 40% risk of miscarriage whereas the general population runs a 15% risk. I should have treated this BEFORE IVF and during those critical first weeks. My case is mild but it may have been just the thing that tipped us in the wrong direction.
4. Immunology issues are starting to get looked at more closely by a very small percentage of top clinics. You don't know if you are going to be one of those women who can't see a pregnancy through to 12 weeks because of a clotting issue or immune issue. If you plan on laying out a lot of money for IVF I think laying out a little extra to check this out is worth it. I wish I had. These clinic will run several test to check if you have high Natural Killer cells specifically in your uterus. If you do they treat with different protocols like prednisone, IVIG therapy, baby aspirin, etc...I didn't do this so I don't know all the ins/outs of it.
5. Do a simple gene test to make sure your MTHFR gene is normal. If you have one of the abnormal ones you can't process Folic Acid properly. This also has a significant effect on keeping your IVF pregnancy afloat. You can sort of treat this without testing by taking the methyl form of folate. It is more expensive than folic acid but it insures you are getting folate. My clinic automatically prescribes very high doses of folic acid and I think it is to circumvent this very thing.
I won't be undertaking IVF again. That was it for us. But I really wanted to impart some of what I learned on my journey. We enjoyed our experience using a foreign clinic. The price for DEIVF was only $8500 with an extra $1000 in travel cost so everything came in under $10,000. I felt this was an amazing price to get to try two cycles. The only downside is they are pretty cookie cutter. They guarantee 8 eggs retrieved, ICSI and all of the procedure necessary to implant you. They do not cover the medications or pretest you will need to do before they take you as a patient. They do not explore any of those reasons I listed above like PCOS or MTHFR. Also, for their donor pool they had a large percentage of women that are very young. In the US they only use donors over 20 or 21 years I believe. Good Luck and Baby Dust to all of you brave souls. (((((HUGS))))
I am a 44 (well next 45) year old. Since the age of 34 have tried to get pregnant with IUI, IVF everything you can possibly imagine. I just last week saved enough money to use IVF with donor eggs. 1st picking a donor was so hard. Then when you think you have it right. I tested yesterday with a negative HCG. I am so sad and upset. The amount of money we have put forth. I am wondering if anyone knows of money available for Donor eggs. I have insurance to cover myself but not eggs. The cost of 5-7 eggs is 10,000. My husband and I have tapped out every credit card possible. The only thing I want in this life is a child with my husband. I see all the bad things happening to children in this life and ask why...people just don't understand what beautiful gift they have. I would do anything for this gift. I am thinking about a 2 and/or 3 job if there was more time int he day. Any help on information would be great. I know there are lots of people in my situation, but I would be willing to shovel manure if it meant getting money for a previous little one. Thanks for any help given out there.
I am sorry your cycle failed.
There are donor refund programs out there. If you don't take a baby home, they will refund all of your $, but, you said you ate tapped out. I know several ladies on here are seeking donor embryos, but unfortunately, they are hard to find. We used donor embryos, after failed donor cycles, but were lucky enough to have someone seeks out (on this site) and donate to us.
I wonder if a clinic would let several wanting parents combine there $$'s a do a shared donor egg cycle at a shared cost?
There is a place in California that has a program for around $11,000 and you get multiple tries and if you are not successful, they refund all your $. Califonia conceptions.
Please, do not give up on your dream though. I struggled for many years, like you, many pitfalls, before my dream was answered.
I am heterozygous for Mthfr and had 14 miscarriages with own eggs before I went the donor route. Discovered The late Dr. Alan Beer, the founder of Reproductive immunology, who also worked with Dr. Sher. Did IVIG, embrell,as well as blood thinners to prevent my body from rejecting the pregnancy. two days ago I celebrated the birthday of my beautiful 7 year old donor egg son who I had at 48. Without the immunological treatment, this would not hae been possible,
my IVf clinic did not believe in these kinds of treatment. We worked separately with the Alan E. Beer clinic in California. The clinic still exists with protégées of Dr. beer. Anyone who has had a failed donor cycle should, IMHO, be tested for immunological issues.
My heart goes out to you!!!! I'm so shocked CCRM wasn't able to help you. I started CCRM 5 months ago after numerous failed treatments at other clinics. If it isn't asking too much, I'm curious why CCRM is recommending surgery? Do you have a tipped uterus? I know how frustrating and sad this whole process is and I want you to know that you are not alone! Thank you in advanced for your response and my best wishes to you and your husband.
Hello ladies, I am new to this community. I just had my first DE failed cycle. I am devastated totally. Cant stop the tears.....I am 40 years old and I resorted to DE after I was told that my eggs have poor quality, I have very low AMH. I am not sure if at this point I am willing to try again...I am too hear broken....my doc had said to expect twins and I turn out not even pregnant....I am a total mess right now....any support or advise would be appreciated. my DE was 23...
Oh honey, yes it is a lot more common then 1 would think. I had a failed donor cycle. 1 fresh, 4 frozen, and the first one ended in m/c, and the rest were a bust. Many ladies on here have been successful with donor eggs, and more then just a few weren't.
Most ladies that fail the first time with donor eggs go after a refund program for the next move. There are programs out there that offer 100% money back guarantees with donor eggs. That was the route my husband and I were going to take, but ended up using donor embryos.
Do you have any frozen embryos?? A lot of times, the frozen embryo transfer (fet) will work, when the fresh cycle didn't.
Hi, ladies i did my first ivf cycle late last year and the doc. cancelled during retrieval because there were no mature follicles.I was advised to do donor ivf which i did. On Monday when i did the blood test it was negative. I am so devastated they implanted three embryos and none survived they were fresh ones, there are none frozen.I did three loans to do these cycles now i am out of funds, i am 38yrs.I feel i have nothing to live for.
It's hard to hear the words no especially when you are trying to be a mother but know that you are not alone. I'm 43 (44 in march) we started last year and had a cancelled cycle with own eggs-no response at all to meds. We decide to move on with a donor and 19 fertilized, 18 made it to day 5. 2 transferred the rest frozen but results ended in neg test. We are now going for our 3rd cycle with 2 frozen sched next week. We'll see how this goes. It was very hard physically and emotionally the first 2 times but now I know it's only hard because I know we are trying. We are trying to control something that nature will always have control of. If it doesn't happen this time we accept the fact that we were meant to take care of children already here.
I've had 4 failed DE cycles, with no known cause. I've had all kinds of testing done, so has my husband. Sometimes it just does not work. I am sorry it did not work for you (I know you posted this a year ago and I'm chiming in late but I wanted to say this anyway in case you come back to read it). I've had immunology testing done, the whole bloodwork panel, two hysteroscopies, and HSG, my husband had sperm fragmentation testing done. Nothing came back suspicious, and for now all I can do is focus on finding a better clinic and better donor. I hope somethign eventually works out for both of us.
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