someone please help, advice please!!!!!???

[courtney_sab_sac_bjc]

My boyfriend and I got pregnant in June 2013, well we lost our angel. I went in for a Dr appt thinking I was close to 11 weeks. well Dr does an ultrasound and tells me my baby has no heartbeat, so instantly I say check again but he reassured me my baby had pasted away at 8 weeks 5 days, my angel just stopped growing. I had no idea no signs of miscarriage I still felt early pregnancy symptoms and all. .well we only waited about 3 months and tried again we instantly got pregnant again well I started bleeding and passing clots @ 5 weeks.so I went to the Dr and they told me I had a subchronic. Hemorrhage well we ended up losing a lil boy @ 14 weeks Jan the 16 2014 .  And now I am literally begging him to try again but he tells me he's not ready. Can someone please explain to me why or even how he was ready the other two times but now he's not. He tells me he is scared to try again bc it might happen again. But,so what, we just live the rest of our life wondering instead of trying. This is really killing me on the inside and he doesn't see it bc I can't show it. I need help and some advice bc I have an empty space in my heart that only a child of mine will fill... am I being selfish????

[courtney_sab_sac_bjc]

Advice not adobe

[courtney_sab_sac_bjc]

Believe me I am very thankful for our other 2 wonderful boys. but OK I lost the lil boy Bentley Jan 16 well my birthday is Jan 18 my sister in law birthday is Jan 16 too, well after loading Bentley bfs son moves in with his mom 3 states away in March OK then my son moves in with his dad in Aug. It just feels like everything I ever wanted in life is falling apart,  drifting away rather. I just feel as if us having another child will help us fill that empty space from all 4 of our children leaving us. And maybe time is coming closer bc we talked last more and he says he is leaning more towards trying again. I his pray that we do have our miracle baby one day and complete our family Thanks everyone for the adobe and angel dust (:

[MichaelaBelin2015]

Be thankful and grateful for the ones you do have and the other or others will come soon:-) pray about it and it should come to pass! Baby dust;-)

[courtney_sab_sac_bjc]

Thanks to all the ones who understand where I'm coming from. See he is the type he doesn't like to talk about his pain so we don't really talk about how he is feeling. He just tells me it doesn't bother him as much as it bothers me about losing 2. But I know it gotta him really bad the last time bc he wanted another little boy and the day we lost him we found out it was a boy.  He is telling me he is just scared and wants my body to heal.  I have an 8 year old son and he has a 12 year old son. So Dr's say it's just something that happened. I just really want us to complete our family and have a child that we both made together and raise it without being separated like our other 2 boys are. We have been together almost 6years and and I just can't see myself with anyone other than him. I want our family complete

[ariellesmithe]

You are NOT being selfish.  It is completely understandable how you feel....you want to try again.  However, your boyfriend is handling the loss differently.  He probably just needs some time.  I would give him some space and then later discuss what happened.

You might even consider talking to your doctor about what has happened and ask if there are any tests that they can perform to ensure that you both are completely healthy.  This might help reassure your boyfriend.

Good luck and Keep us posted! :)

[RippedonScotch]

its not selfish completely but you also need to accomidate his feelings as well 2 losses in a row are hard on both of you.   I completely underdstand his side of this.  You may feel that another child will fill the hole but he doesn't want it to create a bigger one.  He sounds like he just needs more time and you shouldn't rush him or yourself.    

I know when I had my miscarriage I was the one that didn't want to try again for a while, my hubby wanted to try right away.   but we talked about it and we both agreed to wait a little while and see how things go.  It will happen when it is meant to happen, you can't force it.

[sassy_sam]

No I don't think ur being selfish I think ur being human.  I have one sonand had one miscarriage and I too feel like only another bchild would help ease my pain.  That doesn't mean thats how ur man feels though so just give him a lil more time and space.  Everyone heals differently and at their own time.  If it's something u both wanted im sure he'll come around in time, just not yet.  Don't push it or u risk losing ur relationship, especially if ur young and have good fertility years ahead of u

[pinkrazrbrd]

Yes you are being selfish your body obviously can't handle a fetus and after two losses he is traumatized he will come around will take time its not all about u remember that