tubal reversal VS. IVF#2

Hi Ladies,
  I was wondering if anyone has had a tubal reversal?  Any info will be much appreciated!  Just weighing my options.
I had one Ivf in May..BFN...Made 10 embies, transferred 3, froze 7, defrosted 7 one survived the thaw...BFN, I've had 3 kids in my 20's now I was wondering about reversal or donor eggs...Not enough money for multiple IVF's etc...Maybe my eggs like my uterus!
Thanks,
Melanie

[AnnieBrooke]

If you have to put it all on one roll of the dice, so to speak, I would consider IVF with donor eggs.  

Tubal reversal can work, at least one women on MedHelp has written about having it and getting pregnant.  Apparently it can be a painful surgery that takes at least a few months to get over, and chances of ectopic are somewhat increased.  This is not enough to make me say it's a bad idea, as it is still cheaper than IVF (which of course is not guaranteed either), and probably everyone has a different experience of the healing time and so on.  

But the main deal-breaker in your case is that while a woman of 22, for example, could have her tubes reconstructed and still have many years of chances to get pregnant naturally, you're not going to have many years of chances from here on out.  At 44, your numbers have dropped dramatically.  (If you want to get depressed, google "fertility at 40" and you'll get some nasty unpleasant charts showing everything dropping to practically zero really fast.)   There is not only the issue of number of eggs, but the very real question of egg quality by now.  

It takes a leap or a willingness to put aside a bit of the dream, to use a donor egg.  But when faced with the possibility of never having a child at all, or never being able to be pregnant (again), the tiny bit of sadness that comes from it not being from your own egg fades away in the excitement of a new life.  And by the time the sixth week of pregnancy has come, you're in all the way.  It's your baby, not some baby made by a stranger and your husband.  There is even some research that suggests various connections (genetically) between the woman who is pregnant and the baby, no matter what the source of the egg was.

Good luck, not an easy choice I know.  I hope it all works out for you.

Annie

[AnnieBrooke]

Oh, of course, I might add, that counterbalancing the momentary sadness that this would not be your genetic baby, is the excitement that it is the baby of a very young and healthy donor, possibly with some improvements on your own bloodline.  I was never sorry that my son avoided the macular degeneration in my family, not to mention the osteoporosis and Grandpa's bad hearing.

[plumber43]

Hi Annie, I'm guessing you did he donor thing. Do you know the cost? Thanks for your advice.
Melanie

[AnnieBrooke]

I think we paid the donor herself $6,000, and then her meds cost something like $2,000 to $3,000.  The agency we used has a scale, if the donor has donated to someone else and it was successful, she gets paid more the next time.  I think her rate was up to $9,000 by the time she left the program.  This is not including all the costs for me or other costs for her.  Your IVF clinic and donor agency can give you a complete rundown of the costs -- there are charges for the agency also, and fees for:  psychological consult to approve you and your husband for this, health related testing for you and your husband, short-term insurance policy for the donor, your meds, donor's meds, monitoring and blood tests, the embryo transfer itself, and probably some other things I don't remember.  All told, I'm sure we spent thirty thousand dollars.  About the same as my best friend paid for an adoption, at that same time.

[plumber43]

Thanks Annie, would you say aroung $20,000?  If we adopt an embryo its aroung $3000.00 Just like an FET.
Melanie

[AnnieBrooke]

No, the added cost for the donor (after subtracting all the costs we would have had anyway) I think using a donor added about $8,000 to the cost.  No more than that, because the meds she took would have been meds I took if we hadn't used her.  If adopting an embryo is $3,000, then the savings would be about $5,000.  

This is the costs with the particular agency and clinic we used.  You really need to compare all the numbers at the place you are going to use.

[plumber43]

The total for everything for the donated embryo including the fet is $3000.00.
My ivf was 12,000.00 so if I add 8000.00 I would say about $20,000.00? Approx.?
Do you think that's about right?

[mhv]

This is why we are looking into the attain ivf refund program, or shady grove... for just  few thousand more, you get the guarentee.  I went to 1 RE who's cycle including donor cost was 19,000... that didn't include the donor agency fee... and for 28,000 we get 3 fresh tries unlimited frozen tries, and the donor fee is already paid.  The only cost we would lose is the 2-3000 per cycle for meds.
  And Shady Grove, with the 3-1 program, is 28,000 and 100% of that would be refunded.  The whole 28,000!  So you would be out 0 dollars if it failed!  and you get 6 fresh cycles and 6 frozen cycles!

Since we knew our donor, our cost the first time was  around 12,000.  

The donor embryo program is much cheaper :o)  I might start suggesting this to my DH if none of my snow embies make it to blast, or I once again get a BFN.... It's allllll so maddening!  Isn't it??  Geez!

[plumber43]

Hi Mel,
   So you used a  known donor first, and now your onto the Attain program with a different donor? Maybe?  I am so confused on what to do!  Don't think i could get a 28,000 loan. wish we could...We are going to see our RE on Wednesday, I couldn't wait another month to talk to her after she leaves. She told me we could talk about our options, I think Donor Embies, or tubal reversal....My head is spinning!
Thanks so much Mel for all your Fantastic Advice!
Love Melanie

[mhv]

well, we have 7 frozen embryos frm the first donor left.  we are thawing those and any make it to blast, we will transfer.  If none make it, or I get a bfn, we will move on to the attain ivf, or shady grove programs.  Make sense??  
Maybe my DH would consider donor embies if our embies now don't make it... It is all confusing!
Attain and SG both have their own financial programs.  I dont think it's that hard to qualify for.

[Kricket212]

Mel,
I am so sorry you are at such a cross roads......
I really don't think you should do the tube revearsal.  Save your money .. you just don't know what kind of shape those eggs are anymore.  I don't feel it's worth the risk.

I think you should stick to the donor embies one way or the other.
Also, with embryo donor there are really no guarentees on what kind of egg you getting that is left over.  If you do the Egg donor it can be your husbands but also the odds shoot up to like 70-80%.

Hugs to you.......... Donna

[plumber43]

Thanks guys. We have an appointment with RE on Wednesday. Hopefully we can get some answers.
Hugs and SSBD ro All
Melanie

[Waitingforgoodnews]

We looked at doing a tubal reversal, but the doctor said we only had a 20% chance of getting pregnant -- I had no other complicating issues.  We decided to work with a surrogate instead -- just one more alternative!!!  :)  Good luck to you!