Pregnant at 41. THE REAL QUESTION

[johnasse]

Is it possible to get feedback from women who have experiences with pregnancy at 41 or after? The first few posts.. were great, but then the focus was lost ... Not looking for opinions on God, just info on having babies after 40. Thanks to all women responding on this issue....

[claremadson2021]

Take care of yourself as best you can and don't take any of it for granted. I am barley 44 but had my first miscarriage in July 2023. I have 7 other children and without complications or difficulty getting pregnant, but I think my getting vaxed played a role in my miscarriage. Avoid citrus, including OJ, pineapple, cinnamon, processed foods, as they can be linked to miscarriage. I drank a ton of OJ thinking it would be good for me. Eat folic acid foods, don't be afraid to gain a little weight, read product ingredients and use foods or oils that are safe. Coconut and olive oil are the best as others are synthetic. And pray blessings and protection of over you and Baby. I'm TTC again and it's been rough since my miscarriage. What a blessing for you to be able to carry.

[Miracle1111]

Not had myself although I’m 40 almost 41 and still wanting to consider a baby. I just met my partner rly two years ago long distance but I’m not rly worried cause seen so many friends have healthy babies over 40. Maybe it’s cause I am in a capital city but I have I honestly have about 5 friends who gave birth at around 41/42 all healthy kids, all super quick natural pregnancies, literally in two cases from one time unprotected and one who’s on her second at 41. I know more people who had kids over 40 than under and not one has had a problem. All are very healthy and fit though I would say as am I.  I do believe in manifesting myself and I think people can block it with being too desperate to Conceive or scared. I’ve seen people who try ivf over and over and then when they give up just get naturally pregnant. None of my over 40 friends, other than two who actively tried were actually desperate for kids at the time and were pretty much ok without doing the journey but when they got pregnant they decided to keep the child and are now very motherly and love it. But the point is they were kind of relaxed about getting pregnant. I think people can get really stressed about it and that can repel it to a point. Just my feelings anyways.

[specialmom]

I've seen many women have healthy babies over 40 but it is often not their first child. For whatever reason, I think it is harder to get pregnant naturally over 40. It takes the average couple a year to conceive but with your age, I wouldn't wait. If you want a baby, can you see a fertility doctor? Drastic but freezing eggs and implanting is something some women do in order to extend fertility or they use surrogate eggs. I do agree that stress and anxiety impact getting pregnant and that is because stress hormones are released which interfere with all of our hormones and bodily functions and we ovulate off pattern. Our menstrual cycle is impacted. While stressing isn't helpful, proactive steps to expedite it are wise. It does become more difficult to get pregnant for the first time past 40 and we do run out of eggs or eggs in good shape.

[Miracle1111]

in every case but one it was their first child and they fell pregnant almost immediately with no medical help.

[Miracle1111]

I truly just have no worries at all if it's meant to happen it will happy to trust nature, if it doesn't happen lots of kids need adoption but I feel very strongly that if I want it to happen it will.

[Miracle1111]

I feel new data will come out in the future I am not sure age is as much of a factor as people think it is I think a lot of people are just very unhealthy as they get older. Think how few people over 40 are hitting the gym 4 times a week, eating super healthy, meditating, doing yoga, not being stressed etc.

[specialmom]

Statistically it is very unusual to get pregnant and carry to term with a first child past 40. Number of eggs are rapidly declining before that as is the quality. It's science and fact. Health doesn't negate the natural aging of our fertility. You can't yoga your eggs to being more plentiful or higher quality. They DO decline and all studies indicate this. If I were approaching 40 and never pregnant (and I was, I had my kids at 38 and 39), I'd move very quickly to fertility because time truly IS running out Take care

[specialmom]

I just recommend that if you want a child, you freeze eggs now or move quickly. https://www.webmd.com/baby/pregnant-at-40  We have a finite amount of eggs, not unlimited. Starting at 40, pregnancy odds are at 44% and go down each year following. I know you can have your baby but you have to think about the maturing female body (good health, exercise, diet or not). take care

[specialmom]

And yes, there are many kids in need of homes and adoption is a wonderful thing. Best to you

[Simonhermans]

I am 41 almost 42 and 5 weeks  pregnant with  my 7th child, my children range in age from 17 to 3 years old. My husband and I are excited! I am nervous about my age but staying positive.  I was blessed with easy pregnancies before and hope all goes well this time too.

[ReachRLR]

KJ, I have some experience that I hope will help.  What to do with this pregnancy is your decision.  If you want to have it and your partner doesn't you CAN do it alone.  I did.  I had my first child ten years ago and had to leave his dad on mothers day when he was 4 months old.  We are both better for it and it can be done.  Keep heart and follow your instincts.

I am 41 now and married my second husband 30 days ago.  I just discovered I am 7 weeks pregnant.  Completely unplanned!  My husband is almost 50 and has a 26 daughter and 24 son.  This is completely crazy but now i am scared to death i am going to miscarry.  I have to figure out how to stay calm through the next few weeks. I miscarried in my thirties and had no idea because of no bleeding but I suddenly started feeling better. This time I am constantly asking myself, do I still feel pregnant.  

[sasha2013]

I had a tubal reversal one year ago and husband deployed for nine months to Kuwait so we hadn't had a whole lot of time to work on it. Just turned 41 yesterday and its two months after his return and we are 4 weeks pregnant. No assistance. Good old fashioned way:) he's still in disbelief after doctors told us chances were slim to none

[ninareeves]

I will be 41 soon and just found out i'm 6 weeks pregnant.  My first boy is 6 and my husband and i were trying for the past years to have another one.  I even went to see a doc to check on my hormones etc and the doc said that my body is not producing enough. I even not producing eggs. Recently we went for a holiday and I guess with all the fun and sun, I finally got pregnant. Scared because of my age and the tests, but will pray to God to have a beautiful and healthy baby. To KJBandme, the decision is yours. This could be your last chance to get pregnant!

[Azwoman]

I am 40 and been TTC for about 2 and a half yrs, have had two m/c and failed cycles. I am starting back up and trying naturally and really hoping something happens. I am single too which makes it harder. I will not do Ivf with my own eggs again as IUIs have worked in the past but docs think its an egg issue. I am taking lots of supplements, foluc acid, baby aspirin and Clomid days 3-7. I will try every cycle for the next several months. Yes I Isuzu I would have done this a lot sooner but I never married and was too nervous to be a single mom. I know several women who have conceived at 40, 41 and 42 naturally and had healthy babies. Yes it may take longer and a miscarriage or two seems may occur but there is a good egg in there somewhere. I also believe older eggs fertilize better inside of you. I do not discuss my age with anyone, not even co workers. They assume I am under 40 so i let them think that. Women are having families a lot later today than 70,  80 yrs ago. Sure I think about being almost 60 when they graduate but I can also say I plan on being a much better parent than I could have been in
My 20s. I am more stable now than I have ever been and i am capable of paying for daycare and so on. I have been ready for a while now. I feel this is my time And I don't care what family members say if and when this happens.  . Good luck to all of the ladies.

[Dgillette]

I am also 41 and almost 5 weeks preganant.  I have a 15 year old daughter and 13 year old son.  I have been doing so much reading about AMA pregnanices and am terrified as well.  I keep telling myself to stay positive... I will be getting whatever testing my Doctor recommends...Best of wishes to you!

[jengarcia71]

A big AMEN to that!! I was thinking the same thing!

[tratra1]

dont get discouraged im 41 & just found out im 3 1/2 wks .. after a miscarriage a 1- 1/2 yrs ago im very excited.. I had the dnc done at 8 wks bcause the bby had no heart beat  :(chromosomes..  howeva after speaking with dr an research they say having a dnc done better chances of the baby " sticking" next time.. so here I am an just want to say b happy and think positive girl ;)

[steph8118]

Double_OO, if it makes you feel any better, we are forty-six and trying. My husband had cancer about eighteen years ago, so we assumed that we would never have a child together. As it turns out, he is still fertile. Shocker--we found out we were expecting in May 2011, but we lost it at about six weeks and two days. Now we are going to a RE for treatments. I have luteal phase defect, so I have to take progesterone during half of my month. His count is low, so he is on meds to increase it. We are too old for IVF, but we can use IUI. We are praying. This has been a difficult journey. I wish you the best!

[Double_OO]

I have had three Ceasareans My oldest is 19, 12 AND 11 AND A NOW IM 41.  Trying to have another baby.  Been praying on it and even purchased First Response Test to find out my LH levels.  Hoping and praying its still possible.  Would like to know if anyone have had similar success and situations.

[Lolita231]

WOW!!! I thought this forum was for older women who want to conceive and are having difficulty with it.  I did not expect to have people who got healthy pregnancies share share their dilemma about terminating otherwise healthy pregnancy. I am 45, single, never married (although I have been trying for years to find a good husband but have been unsuccessful), never got pregnant. I LOVE childten. My chances of having a child are very slim due to my ovarian reserve, my age and past myomectomy.  I have high blood pressure.  I am exercising, watching my diet, and recently my doctor put me on a medication to lower it.   I have been driving 5 hours each way each time I have to get a test done and each time I need to see my fertility doctor. This child I want to have will be from a sperm donor ( I do not even have a man to get me pregnant, yet I am trying very hard to have a child!!!!!).   I am praying hard to have a child on my own soon. It just makes me VERY angry when I see women who are healthy, got pregnant and want to terminate because of "stupid" reasons.  I know I cannot judge because I do not know you. I am only using the information you provided to reply. You have been blessed with something many of us on this forum are trying very hard to have and you want to throw it away. PLEASE read this forum's thread first before making a decision to terminate an otherwise healthy pregnancy. You do not have any child now but you may want to have some one day and who knows if you will be able to conceive at that time.  The older you get, the harder it is to get pregnant. Although it may seem (and it is) hard to raise a child on your own think about all of the positive things the child will bring to your life. We are talking about a human being that you are carying not a merchandise you can throw  away and buy in a store when you need it again. PLEASE think about you and how a termination will affect you physically and mentally now and maybe in 5-10 years. Your boyfriend can have a child up to his 60's (even his 70's if he wants to) but you, you only have a very small window to do so.  The decision belongs to you and only you.  In the worst of the case, if you cannot take care of the child on your own, give it for adoption. You will make another person happy. A person who really knows the value of what you have and they do not.
This is not intended to be a lecture or to scold you but to realize that you have something that money cannot buy something very precious other women are dying to have. Do not thow it away.

Lolita231
I am sorry to be angry. But a child is a RARE COMODITY in our age group. The decision belongs to you.  Do not let your significant other feeling overshadow your decision.

[nymer]

I had a baby at 35 with a partner who wanted me to terminate due to relationship struggles. I had a healthy baby girl and we are still together 5 years later. Don't terminate because he wants you to, listen to your heart. If you want a child don't wait for perfect timing-it doesn't exist.

[Pruehalliwell]

Hi. I am 41 years old and my husband and I just started to try and get pregnant. I am in good health and my FSH level is normal. I bought the digital Clearblue ovulation test to determine which days I am most fertile each month. I also was recommended to use Preseed lubricant which is sperm friendly and helps the sperm get to the right place! I really don't feel nervous and believe I will get pregnant within the next 6 months, hopefully. Are there any other tips that will help me get pregnant? I heard that acupuncture helps. Genetically, on my mothers side of the family, she and her mother had their periods unti they were in their late 50's! My mom, and two sisters had no trouble at all getting pregnant. They were younger than I am, but I am hoping that this plays a factor. Thank you for reading my story. Also, a lot of women do have babies naturally in their 40's!

[OlderMommy41]

Hi, just want to introduce myself.  I'm Heather, I'm 41, and I'm 15 weeks pregnant.  Last year around this time, I lost a pregnancy at around 7 weeks...a few months later I found out I was pregnant again, that one we found out was a tubular and they had to give me a shot in each hip to stop it from growing.  Now here we go again, and so far, so good.  I was starting to think that maybe I was just a little to old.  This will be my 3rd live birth if all goes well, I have a 16 and 9 year old.  All my children have been spaced out, so they've all had a chance to be the baby of the family for a while.  I've been for an ultrasound and heard the heartbeat, and seen it moving around in there.  They did some measurements around the spine and so far all looks well.  But I am refusing the amnio, there is a small risk of causing me to lose the baby, and even a small risk is to much for me.  I don't need to know if the baby has a handicap, it's still a baby.  Waking up feeling sick never goes away, and now to top it off I've got a horrible cold with cough.  My cravings change from day to day, and I'm keeping the boyfriend on his toes.  I'm terrified and exciting all at once.  But so scared that like the other two, this one may not survive.  Not only am I older, but I'm very over weight.  I find it very hard to look forward when the past year keeps haunting me.  I want to be excited but the reality of the situation keeps me grounded.  Is there any other older, overweight women with success stories to give me hope for a great turn out?  And good luck to all those expectant mothers, and those who are trying.   :)  Heather

[grandadventure]

I am 41 just found out we are 4 weeks pregnant with number 3 (surprize!)-  my other "babies" are only 3 and 1 and I have had healthy pregnancies at 37, and 39.   We just feel so overwhelmed already w/ the 2 little ones,  and it seems unachievable to handle the stress of another.   We did not want more,  esp. my hubbie!!,    though I entertained the thought of another baby and was  jealous of pregnant women and newborn moms.... so maybe it's meant to be.   I am seriously considering the medical termination -  it is definitely what my husband would choose though he would never ask me to do it or pressure me.   I just feel so bummed and depressed to consider 2 more years of sleeplessness,  I have been pushed to my limit already!  Any thoughts I am willing to listen.

[Ghostorchid]

I am happy to hear of your experience!!
I hope I can be so lucky:)

[Chitty58]

The 41 year old mom, which birth defect test you take?  I think I'm choosin the screen rather then the other amnio????????

[LisaRG]

41 is a great age to have a baby.  I had a healthy one at 41.  Its a lot of work, but it keeps me young.

[Chitty58]

I am 41 and I just found out that I am 3 weeks pregnant. I am very excited but nervous.  I have a wonderful daughter that is 16 years old and a wonderful guy to share this moment with but with the amnio testing, down syndrome and birth defects it just scares the heck out of me and I'm wondering should I even take those test or just keep the faith??????????

[cminamyer]

My DH's mother had him when she was 40.  He was born in '77.  She didn't have any tests, he's heathy, and we are now having our second girl.  His mom is almost 71 now and loves being a grandma.  She had 4 other kids before DH though.  The only thing with her pregnacy is that he was a big baby. 9lbs 10oz, it wasn't a problem though she still had him vag.  Good luck!

[Savanha]

WOW...I can understand being afraid of caring for a child on your own, but realize that although "he definitely wants to have an abortion"...the decision you make will affect only your life/mind/spirit & emotions. Also, if you don't have any children, you may want them one day & all you have to do is review some of the threads on fert forum to see how difficult it can be to conceive...it comes w/ much heartache...some of it undescribable. I'm sending wishes of encouragement to you.

Savanha

[eternidad200]

I am 38 started  ttc about 3 years ago bc felt that before I needed working on my career, now I am ready with a house, car, good husband and ready but have been struggling with the whole fertility issue. I just recently 10/21 had a frozen  embryo transfer using my last embryos so I hope this is it.
I agree we should have something for ladies like us.
Good luck to all.