Surrogacy? Need info

[foreverpoppy9]

My husband and I just lost our 4th baby this week and I'm starting to think about surrogacy but know nothing at all about it. Hoping someone here can fill me in!

I think the only way we would do it would be if a family member would be our surrogate.  How much would that cost if the surrogate didn't ask for anything besides the medical aspects.  Does it cost as much as IVF?

ANy info would be great! please feel free to message me!!!

[minamilana]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm so sorry you faced such tough times. I don't know much about surrogacy but I'm sure you'll find answers on this board. Infertility is really hard to go through. We've been trying to conceive for 8 years and nothing. I have PCOS. It makes our ttc complicated. People around me don't understand. This whole time while we were ttc, I've been hearing ignorant advices from people. They say I should distract myself or wait until it will happen somehow. I understand this is not their fault. But I'm so angry sometimes because they say nonsenses. They just don't understand and they never will. We are going through a battle and we are all by ourselves in it. I'm sure you'll find all information you need here. I wish you all the best! I hope your dream to become a mother will come true!

[Sunnyday775]

Hi! I found these tips for PCOS sufferers. Just wanted to share in case this might help you. So it's important to monitor cervical mucus changes and the BBT charting to predict your ovulation and time your intercourse for having fruitful results. Have intercourse in positions that allow for deeper penetration for high deposit of semen. Have diet with foods rich in zinc content to ensure better maturation of egg and sperms. Take adequate rest. Drink plenty of water. Be in regular monitoring and follow-up with your treating doctor/gynecologist and report any new/abnormal symptoms immediately. Incorporate exercises in daily routine to promote weight loss (to be in ideal weight for height range). Maintain low fat and low carb diet.  Hope this message finds you well. Any updates so far??

[cosmickris]

Hello dear! I'm so sorry for your losses. There are probably no words I can say to sooth your pain. I don't know what you are going through. But my best friend had a miscarriage recently. She lost her baby on 7th month. I was 24/7 with her almost a month after. My heart was about to tear apart when I was looking at her. But time heals all wounds. She feels better now. I hope you will feel better soon as well. You should keep going and fighting for your future! Nothing can stop you if you want to be a mother. I wish you to be strong! This group helped me a lot. I'm sure here you'll find support you need.

[AnnieBrooke]

You'd have to do it through the RE, since it will require IVF for you even if someone else is the recipient of the transfer.  Talk to them, they will know the protocol (referrals about the legals, insurance, medical testing, and all).  The recipient needs to know that she will also have to take intramuscular progesterone shots every day if she gets pregnant, for about twelve weeks, on most IVF protocols, so she won't lose the baby.  She really needs full information up front, which the RE's office can give her.

[foreverpoppy9]

no it would be our embryo. we can get pregnant but i can't seem to carry the baby :(
has anyone been through this before? how do you start?

[AnnieBrooke]

Are you looking for a surrogate who would do it with her own eggs?  Or one who would carry your embryo?  The latter is more expensive, obviously, because it means you would need to do IVF to get the embryo to transfer to the surrogate.  If you want one who will use her own eggs, that is a lot to ask of a family member.  They could feel they are giving up "their" baby (which, biologically, they are) to you.  

[foreverpoppy9]

its just smething i was tossing around in my head, the only way i would do it would be with a family member or close friend....not sure how much cheaper it would be ???? any idea?
i've read that if the surrogate doesn't want compensation other than the medical pills they recieve its a lot cheaper....

anyone have experience?
anything will help!

[Sunnyday775]

Too many aspects to consider!! Costs vary greatly from country to country. Along with money matter you should also learn legal surrogacy aspects! Here a couple of things to share.
$60 – 150k surrogacy cost in US!  Unless you have a kind family member or friend that is willing to carry it for you. If things go wrong (such as a surrogate backing out or unfortunate situations like a miscarriage) you automatically have to pay at least $5k to match with another surrogate. And do their health workup through the agency. There are so many costs that could be added at any time! Moreover in some states, surrogate mothers retain a parental right to the child!  Even though the embryos placed in the surrogate have both of your DNA, the surrogate mother’s name is on the birth certificate! Then you have to go through the process of adopting the baby in court. 

[mhv]

Unfortunately, Surrogacy is expensive.  Total it is probably upwards of 40,000 or more.  You have to "compensate" the surrogant, pay their insurance, all the meds/doctors/hospital fees. Not to mention laywer fees.  I do know if you have a family member or friend who is willing, it is cheaper... but, if it's the only way to complete you family, I 100% believe it would be worth the cost.  I totally hate infertility.  It just makes me sick!!!  I often say, I could see how an unstable person might be tempted to steal a baby... it is just such a long, and frustrating road.