Donor vs mine and on our own

[robyn53]

We had a 2nd opinion on whether to try IVF one more time or do the donor thang. Also, our doc told me at 40 years old I have 20-30% chance of getting pregnant on my own. Can anyone relate to this.

[40smama]

Actually, I'm surprised that your dr gave you such a high percentage for getting pregnant naturally.  The average percentile is 20% (each month) for women under 35 so if the doctor is correct, you're still very fertile especially for your age.

I will be honest - fertility drops after age 35 and then takes another fall at 40.  At 42, it almost plummets again so I would think at age 40, you would want to try to get pregnant on your own at least for a few months before resorting to donor eggs.  You can always resort to donor eggs if you need to - you've got time.  This is all my honest opinion - good luck w/your ttc & I hope you get your BFP soon!  If you don't get pregnant within 3 months or so, I would head straight to a re if you haven't done so already. - jen

[mysty2001]

I highly recommend donor embryos
It saves money
It prevents unwanted terminally frozen babies
And it saves babies that might otherwise be killed

you can search embryo adoption, snowflake babies, call your local doc, call the embry frozen national center, call cooper center in new jersey
Best of luck

[Maya39]

What is your FSH level? I'm 39 and have been ttc for the past 3 years. My RE told me that I had a 30 - 40% chance to conceive via IVF after everything else failed. We did one attempt that did not work, he recommended trying again, but in light of the costs, I decide to seek a 2nd opinion. The 2nd doctor said that my chances are 0 - 2% with my own eggs in light of my age and FSH level. I therefore decided to use donor eggs as it increases my chances to 70%. It is definitely a decision that only you can make taking into consideration the emotional and financial toll involved. My mom had my brother at 42 when she was not even trying, so here you go. I have no idea what her FSH level was. She never had a problem having my siblings and I so never thought to have it checked. Best wishes to you.

[robyn53]

I do not know what my FSH is. I have not been to the fertility doc in  a while and I do not remember then telling me what it was. SO! Are you going through the process right now? We are trying to wait til some financial things open up. It all is very expensive. I am still paying for the IVF. So then to have to pay for the donor is out of the question now. I am not quite sure how everyone does it. Time and again! YIKES... Have you choose a donor yet? WE did, but then realized the cost is out right now so had to give her up.
Thank you so very much for your candidness

[sharon7222]

Hi,

I am 42 and have tried on my own five times (and unfortunately all 5 times I have miscarried).  I don't have a problem getting pregnant, I think my eggs are just not viable.  I did not try IVF because my thinking was that if I was going to pay for IVF I might as well go with a donor so that my chances were better.  I've given up trying on my own and have picked out a donor and am going to have a mock cycle in June and hopefully the procedure in July.  It is going to cost $14k for a single cycle.  They also offer split cycles for $6,200.  Someone on here had done the split and had gotten pg.  Have you had any fertility testing done?  

[mamom15]

I am 39 too and my doc gave me a 25% chance because of my age.  my fsh is 6.5, average per my RE.  This sounds similar to what your RE gave you.  

[Maya39]

You should probably have a much higher chance than me. My FSH level was 31 last Feb, suggesting that my ovarian reserve is depleting fast. Your FSH is quite good. All you need is 1 good egg hopefully. Best of luck.

[Maya39]

I also don't understand how people can afford so many IVF attempts. I did one and it cost us around 20K. When I read about people doing it 5 times, I wonder how they can afford it. My FSH did not qualify me for any of the lower cost options available out there. That's why I opted to put what we have left on an egg donor because it maximizes our chances for success. I'm matched with a donor who is cycling with one couple and will be cycling with us when she is done. If we don't succeed that will be it for us. I won't even be able to afford the cost of an adoption. Best wishes to you.

[robyn53]

OMG.. I totally agree about the cost. We are not in a position either to continue to do the IVF thing. Our plan is to go  the donor way in the fall or early next year when we can save some money. Please let me know how things go. I would love to keep in touch as we are in the same situation.
Have a nice Wednesday.
Best wishes to you as well.